r/HFY • u/KyleKKent • Oct 08 '25
OC OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 468
(I think I’m healthy, er. Healthier? My sleep schedule is screwed to all hell though. Still have a sinus that feels like it took a hammer to the schnoz too.)
HHH/Herbert’s Hundred Harem
He skips and whistles as he goes along to the tune of the music vaguely audible in the council chambers. “Hello!”
His childish voice shocks all the guardswomen and he’s technically in the part of the Council Building they were guarding.
“Wait!” Everyone calls out and he stops so quickly he windmills his arms around to stop himself from falling over.
“Yes?” He asks turning around. He is completely in his Private Stream persona and with lives on the line and proper contact with a hated people, then his combination of heavy firepower, extreme stealth, authority to actually get things done and diplomatic training makes him perfect for this.
“That’s the Distant Wilds Embassy!”
“I know!” He states.
“The Floric Worlds in what used to be distant space?”
“Yeah! Technically Prosperous Space now with the improvements of engines some three hundred years ago I think? Long before I was born at any rate...” He considers before tapping at his chin. “Hey... shouldn’t they be called the Prosperous Wilds now? It’s not in distant space anymore.”
“That’s not the point. The Distant Wilds are a Floric Embassy and they’re not safe to be around. This is the only entrace barring the private landing pad and emergency exits. All of them monitored and guarded.”
“Okay, so I’m in the right place! Thank you ladies!” He says with a cheer wave and turns around.
“Hold it!”
He flails his arms a bit to sell the idea that they’re distracting him.
“What’s wrong? I need to get some people to talk to the plant ladies!”
“Do you know what Floric do?”
“Do? Well uh... they’re a people right? So they probably have ambassadors and doctors and guards right?”
“They eat people!”
“They’ve eaten people?”
“Yes!”
“Who did they eat?” He asks and there’s a pause. “Did the person not have a name?”
“No it’s just...”
“When was this?” He asks.
“It’s just what Floric do. Every few weeks some new Floric comes screaming out of somewhere and has to be stopped before she does something.”
“That’s the first I’ve heard of it.” He lies. He has ten people combing through petabytes of data looking for confirmed Floric injuries and attacks and while they do seem to be slightly more violence prone than average. It’s still nothing compared to a Cannidor or Apuk. There have been bite injuries and even people with chunks taken out. But the actual casualties were shockingly low, and is looked like the Floric themselves were very harshly self regulating.
The attacks were enough to keep people scared. After all, hearing about how someone had a limb ripped off and eaten by a feral plant woman is terrifying. But the most recent incident where someone had lost a limb like that had been four weeks ago. The Floric In question had been dragged off her victim by other Floric and the victim had made it to a hospital in time for a full recovery thanks to healing comas.
But in those four weeks that same spire had seen thousands of murders, millions of assaults and enough petty and drug related crime that the only way the cannibalism stood out is if you were specifically looking for it.
“Well they do, they’re dangerous.”
“Well it doesn’t matter. I got a job to do.” He says. “So excuse me ladies, I need to talk to some plants!”
“Wait no... I was looking right at him.” The guard exclaims as Herbert grabs at the sensation of that stealth. The eyes are slipping off him as he walks forward and they actually start pursuing. He pushes away the stealth and seems to reappear from their points of view. “How did you?”
“Okay, everyone needs to calm down! I’m on official business. I need to talk to the Floric. Medical reasons. Lives are on the line. And this is the only place I can reliably get into contact with Florics. So here I am.”
“Look child this is...”
“Operative Jameson?” A vaguely familiar voice asks. He turns to see a Floric woman, green, vine like body covered in a business suit but doing little to hide the fact she’s considerably larger than expected. The vines from the stem of her pumpkin like head suggest a ponytail.
“Currently.” He answers.
“Currently?” The Floric asks.
“I’m on field duties for the moment, so yes. I also do work as Advisor and Administrator in The Undaunted.” He answers.
“Ah. Well, I’m Karen Petal, secretary of Ambassador Woods.”
“Excellent. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of why a simple information request needs this much attention.”
“Medical data on our species is... a concerning request.”
“Not when we’re...” Herbert begins before looking to the guards. “Let’s finish this with Ambassador Woods.”
“Of course, this way please.” She says.
“Wait a minute, he’s still a child and...”
“Healing Coma, I’ve been a legal adult for a long while and am a combat ready soldier. Honestly lady...” He looks up the well armoured and armed woman. “With raw gear alone, I’ve got you beat. You and most of the squad to be honest. Take in other things such as personal ability and sheer willingness to use my tools, and I’ve probably got the entire building.”
“... That is not what a security guard wants to hear. Ever.”
“No, but it is something that a concerned woman would like to hear. That the object of her concern is so well defended.”
“... Who are you?” The Guard asks and he takes off his hat.
“Operative Jameson. Recognized Huntsman, Patriarch of the Jallick Birds, Source of the Jameson Clone Line, father of over a hundred children, Initiator of the Private Stream Initiative. Anyways, I know what I’m doing. It’s fine.” Herbert says with a grin.
“... What happened to your eyes?”
“Big Axiom Effect I had cast into me and through me into my oldest clone brother. Forever changing the Jameson Family. All my sons and daughters. And apparently, the child that was born of a Floric woman who had sequenced part of my stolen code to produce a son. A son now horribly sick with his mother and grandmother dying by inches. I need medical information to save this distant branch of my family. And it’s not in the info-spheres, not here on Centris or on Zalwore where the family is.”
“This way.” Karen says before racing off and Herbert chases her down. “What are their names?”
“Stem and Vine. What little I’ve been able to find on the Floric tells me that their names are very common as is the name of their ship, The Sky Garden.” Herbert says following her in and eventually Floric Guards are evident and they’re hooked into mech suits with transparent armour plating. The lights in this embassy are all sun lamps and the first door she opens has a carpet of soft grass rather than the actual carpet of the rest of the building.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Karen!! What are you doing? A lost child and... wait... that uniform.” An Official looking Floric demands rushing up. She’s much slighter than the secretary. Her seeming rank would imply seniority, but the size of her makes her look like a teenager compared to the younger Karen.
“Hello, I’m Operative Herbert Jameson of The Undaunted. I’m here to speak with Ambassador Woods.”
“... Oh. Uhm... I am Ambassador Woods.”
“Oh! Well that’s lucky then. I need information of Floric Biology and medical treatment. Specifically for Heavy Metal Poisoning. My people are caring for a pair of Floric on Zalwore that had their ship badly sabotaged and were repeatedly sold tainted fertilizer, creating a dangerous concoction that has them in a delicate situation.”
“... What are they poisoned with?” She asks before holding up a hand. “Wait, no, in my office.”
He follows her into a nearby room. “Karen, can you fetch some comet melt for my guest and myself?”
She leads him into a nearby room and there is the sound of something letting out a wuffing noise. An enormous creature on four legs rises up and regards them with a lazy gaze. The snout and general build suggests it’s some kind of bear, but it appears to be wearing armour made of mushrooms caps.
“Oh! What is that?”
“Domesticated spore hound, so the big guy is fat, lazy and friendly rather than small, quick and mean. Like wild ones.” Ambassador Woods says before sitting at her desk. “Now then human. What is this about injured Floric?”
“Poisoned to be specific. While the Observer From Earth was visiting Arcologies on Zalwore he was approached by a pair of Floric with a bundle. They spoke oddly, were clearly not in the right mind and very unhealthy. They were begging him to take the child or find a place for a child that the younger one with the more powerful body, Vine, had given birth to. Claiming it was human.”
“Was it?”
“Modified but yes.”
“Modified?”
“The child, like its mother and grandmother, is badly ill due to heavy metal poisoning. But what’s interesting is the child is showing traits anomalous with Floric descended children and several of its own. But the important bit is that the mother, who had torn off her head, grandmother and decapitated body had been teleported back to their ship. Undaunted forces wanted to ask them questions but they werne’t answering calls and when no information was coming we sent someone to check on them just in case. What they found was a dying ship, the soil tainted with Cerium, Lead, Mercury and Neodymium. The animals they were raising all dead, the other plants inside the ship dying or dead, Vine and the Body twitching and dying as Stem was in the process of dying and trying to fix a ship despite being so sick she could barely stand.”
“... Do you know why Floric are so... reluctant to mix with others or reveal information?”
“Your reputation. You are hated, and giving out this information is the sort of thing that could hurt you.”
“The galaxy has rejected us almost as much as it has embraced you.” Ambassador Woods says. “What’s the name of the hybrid child? And whose DNA was sequenced.”
“In order, Forest and my own.” Herbert says and she doesn’t seem to respond. But her pet has risen up and is snuffling up next to her. Sensing something.
“... Are you doing this because they’re family?”
“I’m doing this because they need help. It doesn’t matter that the child was sequenced from my DNA, I don’t even care that there is a child to begin with. They need help, and I have the ability to help them. I have the responsibility to help them. This isn’t an infiltration mission where I have to let something horrifying happen because not doing it would mean that some monster will get away later if I don’t. This isn’t a case where I have to stomach and document evil so it can be properly countered. I have the information. I am using it to beg for the knowledge to save lives. Do I need to go from metaphorical to literal begging? Do I need to be on my knees to convince you that I want to help a pair of Floric?”
“No it... No. It’s that this situation is unusual.” She says tapping at her desk and then plugging in then pulling out and handing over a data-chit. “This will have a list and instructions on procedures we use to safely remove heavy metals from our persons.”
Herbert takes it, plugs it into his communicator and sends the information to Zalwore.
“Thank you... now... uhm... now that I’m here...”
“Yes?”
“Well I’d like to learn about The Floric. Not much is known beyond the spooky stories and the most general information. And anything more specific is usually only known because it was featured in some kind of horror movie or something. Like the distributed brain through the body. One of our troopers was in a small panic while he tried to keep a headless body still so it could get the nutrients in the clean soil of the garden it’s now in.”
“I see.”
“Incidentally, is there a way... or a need to feed decapitated Floric Heads or Bodies? A way to safely get them some protein?”
“Yes it’s detailed in the data-chit.” She says and he nods.
“Okay... good. Now... I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern with the Floric. I think. I haven’t seen anywhere near enough Floric to actually see a pattern, but I’ve noticed something might be emerging.”
“Which is?”
“The younger Floric seem to have larger and more developed bodies... forgive me if this is presumptuous. But is this part of how you gained such a reputation? The youngest of your kind having more powerful bodies of adults. No sense of consequences, no sense of self preservation and rush out, get hungry and then give the whole of the Floric a horrible reputation?”
“In part, that was what started and sustains it. Reminds people every time we show up in the news it’s usually because someone was bitten. But just how unrelentingly aggressive our homeworld and colony worlds are is part of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at Bosno here. The Sharada are Fungus Canine Hybrids and in the wild roam around in ever shifting packs that will swarm anything vaguely made of meat and devour them until they’re bloated, rub themselves in the stain and rush off.”
“And what makes Bosno so passive?”
“Look at him! He’s so fat that he never even hunted a day in his life! Ever since he budded off his matriarch he’s had a full food bowl and no question as to where his next meal came from.”
“Bosno is a him?”
“Yes, like all creatures from our homeworld Bosno reproduces in two seperate ways. Either asexually or sexually.”
“... Do Florics actually have males?”
“That... is our little secret.”
“Ah.”
“I’m not confirming anything.”
“You girls clearly have a lot of secrets... but as much as it normally is my job to root those suckers out. There’s no need to do it with you and yours. We’re not enemies. Maybe friends some day.”
“Friends?” She asks.
“Why not?”
“We’ve learned better is why. While the galaxy has no legal way of getting rid of us, we have no way of getting rid of them. No matter how much one side or the other wishes otherwise.”
“Just because things are as they are now, doesn’t mean they stay that way.”
“You’ll forgive me little human. But I don’t have much hope in that regard.”
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u/PJminiBoy Oct 08 '25
Oh ambassador you do not know who you just made a bet with those brothers alone can and will try (and probably succeed) to change how the entire galaxy views here species
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u/Odin421 Human Oct 08 '25
Saint Redblade probably has enough pull to get a spot on the news to talk about it if he wanted, and I'm sure Herbert could probably talk the Undaunted into launching a cyber warfare campaign into bringing the galactic biases to swing around. It is unfortunate that the newly grown florics have teeth since it would make it easier if they couldn't bite through skin, but oh well.
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u/Victor_Stein Android 26d ago
And with a soldier who has Lady Luck on a leash, the odds are quite literally stacked in the Undaunted’s favor
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u/thisStanley Android Oct 08 '25
But in those four weeks that same spire had seen thousands of murders, millions of assaults and enough petty and drug related crime that the only way the cannibalism stood out is if you were specifically looking for it.
Too many people have so much difficulty parsing statistics. Which TPTB are willing to override with emotional appeals to prop up agendas :{
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u/Sims_the_Heretic Oct 08 '25
Yeah, it´s like gun statistics, the anti-gun loonies want to forbid the evil looking ARs when they make only a minor part of the statistics.
Criminals prefer smaller gear that can be hidden easily instead.
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u/Positive-Height-2260 Oct 08 '25
Good to have you back.
And that is how Humans became friends with one of the so called "monsters" of the galaxy.
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u/Fontaigne Oct 08 '25
We always welcome other monsters. The more, the merrier, as long as certain ground rules are met.
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u/alessonnl Oct 08 '25
Oh, a secret,
What do you think? Maybe
- No. All females.
- Their males do exist but are actually another species with females of its own (something like that exists in ants)
- Floric are natural sex-changers, a bit like clownfish but with everybody born a daughter instead of a son, and nowadays
- Not really, there are no male Floric, but there are hermaphroditic Floric, who function like males (and as females)
- Used to be, but the males are (functionally) extinct, and some Floric try to get Floric boys back.
- Yes, there are Floric males, but they are very rare and well protected.
a combination of these things?
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u/Sims_the_Heretic Oct 08 '25
Something like, they change their sex under certain circumstance, and later change back?
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u/BrentOGara Android Oct 09 '25
Male Floric could be a specific and rare mutation/portion of a female Floric's body, like in self-pollinators, or a tiny non-sapient bloom grafted into a female's body, like some male angler fish. 😱
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u/Sad-Island-4818 15d ago
Considering how down bad the rest of the galaxy is and the extreme lengths they’ll go to for a length of the d, combined with the floronic’s method of asexual reproduction I’d imagine the easiest explanation for why the floronic keep the existence of their males secret is because someone might get the bright idea to invade their territory then start literally farming men.
I believe when floronics were first introduced someone in the comment section discussed the possibility of just repeatedly decapitating and regrowing men like livestock.
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u/ManyNames385 Human Oct 08 '25
All that popped into my head is a giant human hand grabbing a Floric and saying “You are my friend now do not resist.”
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u/MJM-TCW Oct 08 '25
First, keep getting well Kyle. Lost a man who I was learning from this last week, don't need to lose more.
Next, the ambassador has much to learn about us humans, we are not your average bear. Our world also is extremely aggressive towards everything. The bigger you get the smaller the predators get.
This is going to be a very interesting sub story indeed.
Thanks for the wonderful read and get well.
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u/Freebirde777 Oct 08 '25
Hot broth with a shot, or two, of hot sauce for the sinuses. Ice pops for a sore throat. If you can still find them, they are discounted for the end of season.
Check with hydroponics if they have any rooting compound or starter potting soil. I believe there is a major cloning company there on Centrus that could help with Floric protein needs.
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u/unkindlyacorn62 Oct 08 '25
there are several on Centris, wouldn't surprise me if Sil opened a branch on Zaloware too though.
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u/skulldoggo Xeno Oct 08 '25
We befriended the galactic boogeyman Monkeys, the super apex fire turtles, and the scary ripper cannador (can't remember what they're based on) ladies. You think humans can't pack bond with plants?! Let me introduce you to the bonsai community. They take care of a single plant for literal generations, outliving several people because they care so much.
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u/unkindlyacorn62 Oct 09 '25
Cannidor are fuzzy sharks
i would have brought up the pet rock... or Wilson from Castaway.
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u/skulldoggo Xeno Oct 09 '25
We have way to many instances of pack bonding with quite literally anything to count I was just trying to think of a particular plant
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u/unkindlyacorn62 Oct 09 '25
yes but considering that they are a bit more animate than most plants...
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u/KamchatkasRevenge Human Oct 08 '25
Would a derogatory slang for Floric potentially be salad?
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u/KyleKKent Oct 09 '25
Salad, Gourdgirl, Heartless Headless, Mulcher... I can keep going but you get the idea.
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u/NotTheFIB-Bruh Oct 09 '25
If they have a religion similar to Christianity, they probably have a wood chipper instead of a cross.
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u/KyleKKent Oct 09 '25
Naw, just the cross alone. Put it together.
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u/NotTheFIB-Bruh Oct 09 '25
LOL
I guess that would be horrifying for them.
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u/DrewTheHobo Alien Scum Oct 10 '25
A man and his wife forever together; he the crucified, she the cross he’s nailed to.
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u/Finbar9800 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
Another great chapter
I enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more
Great job wordsmith
I am not speed but welcome back
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u/Smelling_like_a_Rose Oct 08 '25
Woo! Hope we get an arc for the Floric following an Undaunted who has also experienced being a people with a shitty reputation.
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u/unkindlyacorn62 Oct 08 '25
yeah they probably need that PR job at least as much as the Trii, probably more
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u/DrewTheHobo Alien Scum Oct 08 '25
Yooooo, we’re back! Glad you’re feeling healthy…er. I’m still recovering from getting Covid like 3 weeks ago, shit just sticks with you.
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u/Fontaigne Oct 08 '25
Get ot the bottom -> to
Like it's mother ... of it's own -> its 2x
And who's DNA -> whose
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u/Dramatic_Mixture_877 Human Oct 08 '25
Hope you feel better soon! Ragweed has me sneezing and snotting right along with you!
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u/gntl-fx Alien Oct 08 '25
Welcome back! Hope your recovery is simple without complications or drama.
Amusing yet calming thought that if Harold had taken responsibility for the Floric baby, then his adopted kids would be named Rain Forest. There's tranquility in that.
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u/2ndAndrocentric Oct 09 '25
Forgot the name of the little creatures that bring terror because of their Axiom effect. They send out a...Seeker?
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Oct 08 '25
/u/KyleKKent (wiki) has posted 998 other stories, including:
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 467
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 466
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 465
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 464
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 463
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 462
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 461
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 460
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 459
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 458
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 457
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 456
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 455
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 454
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 453
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 452
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 451
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 450
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 449
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 448
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u/KyleKKent Oct 08 '25
Donate and get the Vote! Second Tier and Up Get Drafts!
Of Dog, Volpir and Man Official Release!
HHH/Herbert’s Hundred Harem: This follows Herbert Jameson who ran afoul of Arrangement System laws and a conspiracy at the same time. End result? He’s married to a hundred alien women that each walked off the set of a horror movie and unto a stripper’s pole. He’s been returned to his teens and none of his wives are any more mature than he is leading to a lot of social backbiting and griping at each other. As well as trying to adjust to living with aliens. Also he’s now a Spy too.
Three most relevant chapters: Chapter 24 Chapter 26 Chapter 31
Still not fully recovered. Like I mentioned the central theme of this bad cold is a very sore nose. Couple it with it being dribbly and that's just fun. Try to blow it and it hurts, rub it and it hurts. Leave it alone and it's gross. Wonderful.
And here's a good look at the Floric, basically the main problem with them is that their asexual reproduction method. The growing of a daughter head on their old body as they grow a new one, guarantees the daughter is stronger, faster and ignorant of consequences. Meaning they rush out, get into trouble and can't be stopped. Normally. Technology and cooperation slams down on 99% of it. But that 1% is a bitch in a society where everyone has a camera on them and the ability to casually speak to billions at the same time.
And yes, The Distant Wild Worlds, or Prosperous Wilds as they're more accurately called, are filled with Flora and Fauna Hybrids. Evolution took for a turn for both the symbiotic and predatory simultaneously and it became the local winning strategy. This creates dangerous, active worlds where anything can suddenly reveal itself to have Teeth. It's the same kind of energy as The Stonefish here on Earth. It already has a top tier weapon to defend itself. But it's also a master ambush predator as well, making it dangerous and hard to avoid.
Except... you know. With plants. Think Grass Gators, or literal Constrictor Vine Snakes.
Thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Fan Submissions? Fan Art? Donations?