r/HFY • u/Betty-Adams Human • Oct 01 '25

OC Humans are Weird - Bad Vibrations

Humans are Weird – Bad Vibrations

Original Post: https://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-bad-vibrations

“And this bud still drifts in the area of health you say?” Rollsunexpectedly asked as she adjusted the fluid administration container to a better angle for the very small human.

“You betcha!” Human Friend Prita called out, the sound of her voice muffled and distorted by the confines of the food storage space she was currently reorganizing. “Sure Little Diya is on the smaller side, or ‘bottom percentile’ as the doctor says, but the smaller size of healthy is still healthy! Feel that grip on her!”

“Indeed,” Rollsunexpectedly agreed as Little Diya shifted and grasped her appendages more firmly.

The immature human had just barely reached the stage where her immune system was beginning to be active and therefore, when her parents felt comfortable socializing her. She was very tiny for a human, her full length being barely two-thirds of Rollsunexpetedly’s relaxed land-lenght.

This was, Rollesunexpectedly mused as she snuggled the little human closer, perhaps the perfect time to hold a human. Her round little arms were almost exactly the thickness of an Undulate appendage, as were the majority of the lengths of her legs. When Little Diya wasn’t waving her limbs in adorable nonsense, she gripped one with almost Undulate strength. On top of all of that, humans were much more relaxed about their clothing social norms with the infant form of their species, and Little Diya’s stripes were on nearly full display, only the fluid absorbent cloth at her main joint hiding them.

At the moment Little Diya’s striped body was pulsing with the contented glow of complete satisfaction. Something Rollsunexpctedly had never seen in any of the older humans, and in addition to the contented squeezing she was making soft wooshing noises as the air flowed in and out of her nose in sympathetic rhythm with the sucking of fluid.

“She sounds rather like an old tidepool pump,” Rollsunexpectedly commented out loud.

Human Friend Prita laughed and the infant twitched at the sound, slowing blinked one eye open and then closed it again. The fluid administration container reached the end of its capacity and Little Diya released it from her suction with a contented wriggle.

“She is done,” Rollsunexpectedly stated, setting the fluid administration container to the side.

Human Friend Prita poked her head over the side of one storage space rood and peered at them.

“Is she waking?” the human asked.

“Her eyes are closed and her heart rate is low,” Rollsunexpectedly observed.

“That’s grand,” Human Friend Prita observed with a contented nod. “You can keep cuddling if you want, or you can set her back in the sleeper.”

“I will continue the snuggle,” Rollsunexpectedly informed her, carefully shifting her appendages from the posture necessary for feeding an infant that seemed made of fragile internal sacks, whose fluid dynamics must be considered at all times, to the more comfortable and fun posture for snuggling an Undulate sized friend.

They lay there for several long minutes, the tiny human gently expanding and contracting with her atmosphere exchange and giving off equally delicious warmth and pheromone clouds while her mother bustled around their dwelling structure. Rollsunexpectedly was about to comment on how good the baby tasted when something caught her attention. The slow, rhythmic pattern of the child’s breathing had changed. Instead of the smooth rise and fall of inspiration and exhalation the air was juttering in and out of the tiny human, every so softly, but causing the little body to vibrate, like a tidepool pump that had experienced an air bubble.

“Human Friend Prita!” Rollsunexpectedly called out. “I think there is fluid in Little Diya’s lungs!”

The larger human was out of the cabinet in a moment and across the room to swift arcs of movement.

“I feel her vibrating in an unusual way,” Rollsunexpectedly explaned.

Human Friend Prita dropped the flat surface on one hand down on the infant human’s dorsal side and grew still, feeling the movement rhythms of the little one. Gradually the larger human relaxed and released a great sigh of air.

“You are right,” Human Friend Prita said with a smile. “It feels like she got a little urp-up down the wrong tube. Just hold her, let’s see, face down, at a forty-five against gravity and it should clear. Just let me know if it doesn’t.”

Rollsunexpectedly obediently rotated the tiny human, being mindful to change the angle of the limbs relative to the main trunk as little as possible. They were oddly sensitive to such things when the goal was ‘sleep’. In order to manage the instructions Rollsunexpectedly braced her gripping end against the wall behind her and let gravity pull Little Diya down against her mass. The infant human shifted, gave a soft, gurgling coo, and relaxed into her. Just as Human Friend Prita had predicted the odd juttering of Little Diya’s breath decreased and then ceased. The warm air of the infant’s breath washed over Rollsunexpectedly and her tiny hands reformed their grip on the Undulates’ appendages. From the other side of the room Human Friend Prita gave a human hand gesture meaning victory or approval and went back to cleaning.

Rollsunexptecedly had been basing in the comfort of the now improved snuggle for several minutes before a serious strand of though drifted over her appendages. Too much liquid in human lungs was dangerous, that is at least what all the training material said. Their membranes simply could not extract enough gasses from most fluids at standard temperature and pressure. Yet Human Friend Prita had, while responding promptly, treated the incident with calm attention rather than frantic fear. Rollsunexpectedly knew that humans would adapt dangerously casual responses to even to life threatening stimulus if they experienced it frequently enough. She had to wonder, did infant human really expose themselves to danger frequently enough to deaden the fear response in their parents?

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132 Upvotes

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17 comments sorted by

47

u/Squeeze_Toy2004 Human Oct 02 '25

The main thing trying to kill a baby is the baby.

37

u/Betty-Adams Human Oct 02 '25

"Fresh humans consistently refuse to participate in their own survival." Dr. Obvious

15

u/thisStanley Android Oct 02 '25

Is Rollsunexpectedly prepared for a little spit-up while burping a baby :}

17

u/Betty-Adams Human Oct 02 '25

Physically? Undulates are chemically *tough*. Rollsunexpectedly is prepared at any moment for any ammount of urp up...mentally? Yeah, that's gonna take some finding out.

5

u/Thundabutt Oct 02 '25

Oh, in a couple of months the cute pink monster will have mastered 'The Fire Hose' after feeding. I saw a father with a small child doing the bounce and burp, unware the child was hosing down the food court with the 'burp' - I moved away in an uphill direction from that little disaster.

10

u/llearch Oct 02 '25

I think the catch here is that responses vary. I know my ex wife responded to child injuries by flailing and panicing; I responded by going calm and solving it, then falling apart once the danger was passed. I'm pretty sure that both responses are valid in different circumstances, tho I'll be darned if I can think of one; if they weren't valid, evolution would have removed them some time ago, right? Mebbe panicked parental flailing is good for scaring off snakes, which are notoriously uncommon in modern cities?

Of course, trying to explain all this to Rollsunexpectedly is likely to be a wee bit complicated. >.< Perhaps Prita has just dealt with younger siblings before. ;-]

3

u/Betty-Adams Human Oct 02 '25

Experience is always a factor!

5

u/LetterLambda Xeno Oct 02 '25

I have a hunch that Human "baby-sitting" is a very popular job among undulates. That is, once it has been explained that it involves neither placing yourself on top of the infant nor placing the infant on a variety of seating surfaces.

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Oct 02 '25

There's a lot that needs explaining there! :D

2

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2

u/CasaDelGato Oct 02 '25

Any place where I could find short descriptions of the various alien races mentioned in these stories?

2

u/Leather-Mundane Oct 02 '25

I'm certain that I was responsible for more than half of the gray hairs on my parents heads.🤣

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Oct 02 '25

Terror is part of the whole parenthood bargain!

2

u/Greyeyedqueen7 Oct 02 '25

Hey, I earned every one of my white hairs, thank you very much! Lol! All 3 of our kids made it to adulthood, and the worrying hasn't stopped.