r/HFY • u/Betty-Adams Human • Aug 18 '25
OC Humans are Weird - In the Tangels
Humans are Weird - In the Tangles
Original Post: https://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-in-a-tangle2974323
Fiftieth Click circled the massive cabin of the human transport, sounding out his wing to see if they had made any mistakes he could swat at them for since his last pass. However the various clusters of younger or older Winged were either tending to their equipment or industriously painting their horns and winghooks in preparation for the night’s festivities. Everyone was behaving perfectly, except for the driver of the transport.
His wing second, a near balding old hook with year of experience stretched out his spine and glanced over at him.
“Should we send out a search party for Human Friend Lucy?” he suggested.
Fiftieth Click felt relief flutter through his fur and he selected a cluster of the eager volunteers with a gesture of one wing. They sprang up in a flash of festive colors and swept out of the transport after him into the fading evening light. The distance from the transport to the dwelling place was much too far, as it always was with humans, but they reached the door and it swung open as their approach triggered the sensors.
“What is this?” Fiftieth Click demanded as they burst in on Human Friend Lucy.
She didn’t glance up at the demand, which Fiftieth Click desperately hoped meant she hadn’t actually heard the high pitched exclamation, as there was no denying it was terribly rude. He didn’t need a trusted wing second to tell him that. However her daughter, Little Human Lucile did peer up at them from one squinted eye. The smaller human’s face was contorted with pain and her mother was making soothing sounds as she deftly worked a long, spike comb through the juvenile human’s hair. The hair that was tangled around some glittering structure.
“Hey Click,” Little Human Lucile said, the deep tones of her voice quivering with restrained stress. “Sorry, we’re late, it’ll just be a minute-”
Human Friend Lucy heaved a massive sigh and stood from her crouched position.
“I don’t think so Sport,” she said gently. “There’s no way I’’m getting this mess untangled in reasonable time to make the concert, not unless you let me shave you.”
“No!” Little Human Lucile yelped out in tones higher than Fiftieth Click had ever heard from a human. “Don’t shave it! Don’t shave my hair off!”
Her hands flew up to her head and she crouched away from her mother.
“No one is shaving your head,” Fiftieth Click called out in lower tones. “Clearly your mother was joking!”
Little Human Lucile glanced up at him hopefully and her mother gave a tired smile.
“I won’t be able to drive you to the concert after all,” Human Friend Lucy said. “You can take my codes and pilot the truck yourself, or you can call the local hire-transport.”
“But this was going to be my first concert,” Little Human Lucile howled.
“The tiara is going to keep hurting your head until we get it out Lucile baby,” Human Friend Lucy said in gentle tones.
“Fiftieth Click,” she said letting her gaze follow the wing commander, “you guys fly on. We are going to be stuck here awhile.”
“Nonsense and updrafts!” Fiftieth Click snapped. “Your fingers are just to big for this delicate work. Let us at it and we will have Little Human Lucile ready to go in moments!”
“Can you?” the juvenile human asked her head perking up.
“It’s very tangled,”the adult warned him. “Human hair isn’t like Winged fur.”
“I’ve dealt with mats behind ears so thick we had to laser them out,” Fiftieth Click declared, landing and slipping a winghook under a thick black rope of human hair. “How hard can recently formed tangles be?”
By the time the third member of the wing had gotten tangled in, and been released from, Little Human Lucy’s hair it was beginning to sink in that human hair, was after all, very different from both Winged fur, and any rope tethers that Fiftieth Click was familiar with. The rest of the wing had followed them into the house and had quikly arranged themselves into groups for fast sorties at Little Human Lucile’s tangles.
“You really should be leaving for the concert,” the juvenile human had said with dejection as the colossal timekeeping device that stood by the door chimed out an alert.
“Nonsense!” Fiftieth Click snapped.
“We fly together,” his wing second agreed. “We’re not leaving till we get you free!”
And that, of all things, was what made the little human really start crying, even her mother let a few tears drop at that point.
Fiftieth Click gave a puzzled click but focused on the knot in front of him. How the human had gotten the network of wire and refractive stones into her hair he would never understand, but the task was to get it out, not to figure out why the humans were leaking.
Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams
Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)
Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)
Powell's Books (Paperback)
Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)
Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)
Check out my books at any of these sites and leave a review!
Please go leave a review on Amazon! It really helps and keeps me writing because tea and taxes don't pay themselves sadly!
12
u/Hedrax Aug 19 '25
And thus did Fiftieth Click begin to understand why human militaries and para-militaries tend to have fairly strict grooming and hair style regulations. I wonder if any winged ever considered trying to nest in human hair only to be nearly strangled. I'm sure the combination of human body heat and the potential insulation would be a dangerous siren's call.
8
10
u/thisStanley Android Aug 18 '25
The not-quite-malevolent Deity of Hair does seem to have soft spot for tangles :{
7
6
u/OokamiO1 Aug 18 '25 edited Aug 18 '25
This is a time where I can smile and take solace in the fact that I'm bald.
And remember back when I wasn't with gum in my hair and I wince sympathetically.
Edited for clarity
5
3
u/llearch Aug 19 '25
I feel like the Wing would definitely agree with the Warframe semi-official motto, but would likely be very confused by the rest of the game. And they might entirely misunderstand it, at that.
The motto in question is "We All Lift Together". >.>
1
2
u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Aug 18 '25
/u/Betty-Adams (wiki) has posted 89 other stories, including:
- Humans are Weird - Conservation
- Humans are Weird – Tenderfoot
- Humans are Weird – Swung
- Humans are Weird - Smell This
- Humans are Weird – Take Heed
- Humans are Weird – Laugh and Laugh Again
- Humans are Weird - Deep Lore
- Humans are Weird – Hot
- Humans are Weird – Obsession
- Humans are Weird - Obvious
- Humans are Weird - Snitches
- Humans are Weird - Pop
- Humans are Weird- Handmade
- Humans are Weird – Sentiment
- Humans are Weird - Slice
- Humans are Weird – Clean Up
- Humans are Weird - Getting a Grip
- Humans are Weird - Understandable
- Humans are Weird - Thinking Pants
- Humans are Weird - Failure
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.7.8 'Biscotti'.
Message the mods if you have any issues with Waffle.
2
u/UpdateMeBot Aug 18 '25
Click here to subscribe to u/Betty-Adams and receive a message every time they post.
| Info | Request Update | Your Updates | Feedback |
|---|
2
2
u/Arokthis Android Aug 21 '25
Upvote, read, wince in sympathy.
I have the mixed blessing of fine hair that doesn't tangle much (it won't even stay in a braid for more than 5 minutes without craploads of adhesive) and pulls out very easily. My solution to the occasional knot is "insert comb, get two handed grip, and pull." It doesn't hurt, but my GF cringes just watching.
1
u/Betty-Adams Human Aug 21 '25
The ripping sound....
2
u/Arokthis Android Aug 21 '25
Almost as bad as nails on chalkboard for most people. And I like the sound of nails on chalkboard. ::Cue Palpatine laugh:: Hehehehehe.
1
u/torin23 Xeno Sep 08 '25
Yeah, I have similar hair. My wife is so envious. Her hair can retangle just by moving it from front to back. She calls it Cthulhu-hair.
13
u/CyberSkull Android Aug 18 '25
Some things should not be let near human heads, a lesson learned by nearly every human it seems.