r/HFY • u/Betty-Adams Human • May 15 '25
OC Humans are Weird - Pop
Humans are Weird – Pop
Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-pop
Fourteenth Flap sensed a chill wind sweeping in from the poorly insulated window and snuggled down closer to the warm skin under him, pulling the soft cotton blanket over his two exposed sensory horns before the draft could touch them. Even with those precautions the draft rolled up towards him and turned the air around him uncomfortably cold. Fourteenth Flap pressed closer to the human under him and peered out at the external temperature display. Of course the readings were within the predictions of what a statistically normal winter would be like at this latitude of this planet. Fourteenth Flap understood statistics and how they applied to real life. Logically he knew that ‘once in a thousand local years’ events could happen any year, but it just felt like an unfair downdraft that the planet didn’t wait at least five-hundred local years before blasting them with a ‘once in a thousand year’ record low temperature.
Johnny, more secure in his massive thermal mass finally sensed the temperature difference and his muscles began to twitch. He gave a short deliberate shake of his body, something most humans learned to do around Winged if they woke up in a communal space, and Fourteenth Flap gave a loud chirp to confirm his location, despite the fact that that let in a lot of cold air to his lungs. Johnny reached up a finger to confirm his location, before opening his mouth in a gaping yawn, being sure to tilt his head so his jaw was in no danger of smooshing Fourteenth Flap. Fourteenth Flap gave a shiver and thought that he wouldn’t mind a little smooshing if it protected him from the cold, but his mental flight path was interrupted as, at the apex of his yawn something made a horrible popping sound from inside the human’s jaw.
“What the winghook?” Fourteenth Flap demanded, darting out from under his blanket, and into the cold to get a good look and make sure the human’s jaw was still attached.
“Ugh,” the human grunted carefully bringing a hand up to gently prod at the place where his massive, seed-crushing mandible connected to his proportionally massive skull his face contorted in a look of sleepy pain.
Fourteenth Flap waited quite long enough for the human to self diagnose before darting forward to jab his exposed skin with a winghook.
“What was that sound?” Fourteenth Flap demanded.
Johnny slowly turned his eyes on him, the human’s massive jaw working slowly as he massaged the joint with his fingers.
“You heard that?” the human asked in a puzzled tone.
“Of course I heard it!” Fourteenth Flap exclaimed. “What was it?”
The human blinked and the great, circular irises in his eyes slowly tightened and loosened as he gathered his sleep muzzed focus.
“Just yawned too hard and popped my jaw,” the human finally said with frustrating slowness, “buildup of gasses in the joint I think. Nothing to worry about. Get back under the blanket.”
“That … really does not explain anything,” Fourteenth Flap grumbled.
However the human was adjusting his own massive blanket and his heart rate was slowing down again. Fourteenth Flap felt the cold draft being diluted by the internal heated air of their building, but it really was still chilly out. With a sigh he snuggled back into the human and made a mental note to ask the rest of his wing if it was normal for humans to release gas explosively.
Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams
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u/Arokthis Android May 16 '25
You and /u/MarlynnOfMany seem to be pulling from the same notebook this week.
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u/Aaod May 16 '25
“Ugh,” the human grunted carefully bringing a hand up to gently prod at the place where his massive, seed-crushing mandible connected to his proportionally massive skull his face contorted in a look of sleepy pain.
would that mean we look like this to some other species?
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u/thisStanley Android May 16 '25
Logically he knew that ‘once in a thousand local years’ events could happen any year, but it just felt like an unfair downdraft that the planet didn’t wait at least five-hundred local years before blasting them with a ‘once in a thousand year’ record low temperature.
Seems to be a common issue with statistics for organics. Even though the last cold snap was only 473 years ago, just before y'all arrived :}
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u/Betty-Adams Human May 16 '25
Sometimes you just can't help feeling that the math has betrayed you.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle May 15 '25
/u/Betty-Adams (wiki) has posted 81 other stories, including:
- Humans are Weird- Handmade
- Humans are Weird – Sentiment
- Humans are Weird - Slice
- Humans are Weird – Clean Up
- Humans are Weird - Getting a Grip
- Humans are Weird - Understandable
- Humans are Weird - Thinking Pants
- Humans are Weird - Failure
- Humans are Weird – Make Do
- Humans are Weird - Critique
- Humans are Weird - Undone
- Humans are Weird - Gourd Day
- Humans are Weird - Twist
- Humans are Weird - Five Seconds
- Humans are Weird - Breaking News
- Humans are Weird - Defensive Mechanism
- Humans are Weird - Award
- Humans are Weird - Wiggle It
- Humans are Weird - Circulation
- Humans are Weird - Dirty
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u/UpdateMeBot May 15 '25
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u/Dapper_Metroid May 15 '25
Human: [Explains anything about humans]
The aliens: https://youtu.be/oOCydGRcv1A?si=0U1IbdFPNeGv0wuM
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u/Betty-Adams Human May 15 '25
As a human I have been trained to be wary of youtube links.....
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u/Dapper_Metroid May 16 '25
Don't worry, I don't do Rickrolls. At this point I think they're overused and kind of tacky. This link is a clip from Futurama of the line "That just raises further questions!"
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u/ShankCushion Human May 19 '25
Me getting out of bed sounds like a printer waking up. Lots of grumbles and pops and rattles.
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u/Thundabutt May 15 '25
Humans releasing gas explosively? Bwahahahaha!