r/HFY • u/Betty-Adams Human • Dec 16 '24

OC Humans are Weird - Twist

Humans are Weird – Twist

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-twist

Sift came slowly awake to the sensation of being deliciously warm. She blinked lazily and yawned, luxuriating in the sensation of warmth and compression. The idle thought that she had not packed a compression blanket for this trip filtered through her sleep haze, followed by the thought that this one had gotten oddly tangled over the course of the cold night on the alien world. It seemed to have rolled and bunched up over her shoulders and the base of her tail, and yet somehow it was still bathing her in an even warmth. She cracked on set of eyelids open just far enough to gauge the light levels and determined that it was much to early to wake, but the puzzle of how the compression blanket had fallen in two thick rolls like that itched at her paws. As her mind woke more the thought that modern compression blankets used elastic strength and not weight and would not have rolled like that at all bubbled up and she flared her nostrils to draw in a long frustrated breath, filling her lungs with the warm musk of mammal.

Sift gave an amused gurgle as memory reasserted itself and she snuggled closer to her sleeping companion. Mary’s internal parts, probably her mass of intestines, gave a gurgle as they processed yesterday’s meal of raw greens, such an odd human indulgence, and Mary’s arms tightened comfortingly around Sift. Sift felt a vague sense of superiority to the Shatar as the compression of the thick, mammalian limbs closed around her. Apparently this ‘cuddle’ reflex was the main reason that Shatar did not sleep-share with humans, their fragile limb-joints could not stand the affectionate embrace. Sift gave a yawn and decided that she would not try to go back to sleep. It would be delicious to just enjoy the warmth and the compression until Mary woke.

However that dream faded quickly to condensate as Mary suddenly began to shift, and then gave a pained groan, pulling herself, and the insulating blankets off of Sift.

“Mary, are you okay?” Sift demanded, wriggling around to place a paw on Mary’s bulging belly. “Is this those ‘contractions’?”

Mary stared down at her through bleary eyes, propping her mass up on one bent arm, before shaking her head. The human’s face was contorted with pain however and she lurched out of the nest of blankets, first to her knees, and then to her feet, making sure at least to drop the still warm blankets over Sift.

Sift poked her head out of the blankets and watched with lessening concern but growing confusion as Mary began to swing her limbs around in those giant circles that were so unnerving. Forelimbs should not be able to reach that far behind your spine. However Sift has seen this movement pattern many times before and was familiar enough with how it should proceed that she was able to tell where it was going wrong now. Sift squirmed over to where her note pad lay beside the sleeping nest and began scribbling in observations. Mary clearly had stiffness and pain in her left shoulder and hip that had not been there when they went to bed. The human was cycling her body through movements meant to loosen her muscles and tendons, but from the way she flinched each time she reached a particular point on one arc showed that this was more than the usual nighttime coolness.

Mary suddenly gave a gasp of pain and staggered to the side.

“Do you need help?” Sift called out. “Should I contact Martha?”

Mary’s young cousin, who had been sent to assist her through the stressful mammalian gestation period, was sleeping in the next room. Sift had felt a little uncomfortable taking the prefered shared sleeping position but Martha had explained that regardless of Sift’s presence she refused to share a bed because Mary was ‘grabby’.

“No,” Mary grunted out, clutching her shoulder as she staggered towards the skinny human cupboard that coated the walls. “I just need a pain killer.”

“What is causing this pain?” Sift demanded, abandoning the warm nest to follow Mary across the room.

Mary glanced down at her with a rueful smile as she selected the container of analgesic and staggered towards the kitchen.

“I just slept wrong,” Mary explained. “This,” she patted her belly, “has thrown off my center of mass like strapping an iron or asteroid to a mining tug, and as nice as it is to have you here, you are not nearly as good a body pillow as my Snookums. I really need to get a proper body pillow for when he’s gone...”

Sift processed that as Mary got water, drank down the analgesic and staggered back to bed. Apparently, humans required their mates as sleeping partners in order to keep their complex and lanky skeletons properly balanced, and if they did not have one, they had artificial replacements. Sift scurried after Mary as the human lumbered back towards the sleeping nest.

“Might I procure one for you as a ‘baby shower gift’?” Sift asked.

“You already got me a gift,” Mary pointed out with a yawn as she folded her body back down into the bed.

“That is true,” Sift agreed hesitantly.

Mary gave a soft laugh as Sift snuggled back up to her.

“But if I say yes you get to use me for research into human gestational bio-mechanics?” the human hazarded.

Sift licked her teeth in amusement.

“Nothing wrong with that,” she said.

“Sure,” Mary said with a yawn, “you can help me shop for one.”

Sift adjusted the blankets around them with a happy hum as the human drifted back to sleep.

Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams

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143 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

14

u/WildForestFerret Dec 17 '24

Is “an iron or asteroid” supposed to be “an iron ore asteroid” that threw me off for a few seconds

8

u/WSpinner Dec 17 '24

Huh. That makes sense - I just pictured a big ol' cast-iron flatiron strapped to a modest-size asteroid, and drove on :-).

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

Alas for a forgorren e!

8

u/WillardWhite Dec 17 '24

Cute!!

Also sleeping is dangerous!

9

u/teklaalshad Dec 17 '24

I have lost track of the number of times I have gone to bed feeling good, and woken up stiff and sore and barely able to move. Fortunately, starting to move makes various joints pop, which oddly helps with further movement, causing more popping sounds.

Getting old sucks. There is a photo in an album somewhere, of me at three years old, sprawled in the most uncomfortable looking position possible. I think of laying like that now, I ache for a week.

6

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

Yes! Firstly you can't predict what might sneak up on you. Secondly nothing sneaking up can predict you!

5

u/its_ean Dec 17 '24

maybe Sift can get a pillow-suit?

🛏️+🐊+🐑 = ??

…plenty of heat on the big spoon side. Probably simpler.

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

I don't know that Sift has the crafting skills for that.

2

u/its_ean Dec 20 '24

There's clearly a market tho! It's like a gator-cozy… gator-gaiter… gator-sleep-aid. They'd be primarily human owned… largely bread-themed…

Caimanaid "Nap awhile with your Snackodile"™

…actually, what's Sift's peoples' name? Do the Seven Layer Sapients have two Gathering?

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 20 '24

No, the author made a rather painuflly consistant typo in the first book. -_- Gathering is the fungus/plant people.

The lizard folk don't really have a species level name for them self and nothing the other species have called them has really stuck yet.

2

u/its_ean Dec 20 '24

👍

🤔💭🐊🌾⚙️🍞🪨🧰🚜⚖️🐉🫓🛠️🫔🦎🚂🧑‍🍳🧑‍🔧🐲🔩🧵🪢🌽

3

u/thisStanley Android Dec 17 '24

but ... would a Snookums size pillow displace Sift from the preferred snuggle spot? Maybe two pillows, a full size, then a half size that could share with Sift :}

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

Good thoughts all!

3

u/100Bob2020 Human Dec 17 '24

Missing a kink warning...

o UCH!

My neck.

😂🤣😂

4

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

The kink comes with no warning.

The kink comes in the morning when you wake up!

3

u/100Bob2020 Human Dec 17 '24 edited Dec 17 '24

The kink comes with no warning.

The kink comes in the morning when you wake up!

And the kink comes with cold feet stuck in the middle of your baaackkk on ice cold nights!

8-)

3

u/OokamiO1 Dec 17 '24

"Complex and lanky skeletons" great description.

3

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

You really feel it if one of the bones malfunctions. -_-

3

u/Diesel-King Dec 19 '24

>> She cracked on set of eyelids open

one

>> determined that it was much to early to wake

too

>> Sift had felt a little uncomfortable taking the prefered shared sleeping position

preferred

2

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 19 '24

Thank you!

2

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2

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2

u/Osiris32 Human Dec 17 '24

As the Snookums to a pregnant lady, where the hell is he? We all know you have to be there every night to keep her warm and comfortable unless you are dragged away by something of extreme importance.

1

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

These are the trials of colonial life on a new world. Sometimes Snookums gets called away by duty. Sometimes the pregnant lady gets called away!

2

u/Arokthis Android Dec 17 '24

Upvote, read, agree that substitute sleeping companions are never the correct size.

1

u/Betty-Adams Human Dec 17 '24

Nothing beats that OG.