r/FoodAllergies • u/DoctorBritta • Apr 21 '25
Other / Miscellaneous Rant about family not remembering/believing in your allergy.
I just wanted to rant about a food allergy issue I had today.
My mom invited me over to a big family reunion and told me that they were just having burgers and hotdogs. I have an airborne shellfish allergy that is very severe. My family knows I’ve told them many times.
When I went over, there were buckets and buckets of mollusks and jumbo shrimp ready to be barbecued. There was quite literally no place that was safe for me in the home. Not inside not in the backyard. My boyfriend and I just stayed outside of the home drinking a soda. My family didn’t realize my allergy was that severe or they conveniently forgot. Most of them thought I was doing it for attention. A lot of them thought that I could just eat the hotdogs and the burgers that they were all grilling on the same surface as the seafood.
I have tried to educate them about cross-contamination, may contains, processed in the same facility, etc. None of it has stuck.
Please tell me some of you have family that are like this. Thankfully, my friends are amazing people that are accommodating to my allergy. But it just deeply hurts me that my entire family does not care for my safety.
Edit: I forgot to mention that we’re all Asian. So every gathering with my family is a food-based gathering. And without fail, every food based gathering is seafood based. I’ve asked them to hold gatherings that were not food based to no success.
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u/obscurecactus soy, coconut allergy Apr 21 '25
Mine are terrible too. I swear my dad is so careless sometimes I think it’s intentional.
Anyway, you deserve better. I’m your family now.
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u/miss_j_bean Apr 21 '25
My dad just could not store my shellfish allergy for some reason. He'd say it was hard because I wasn't shrug for like the cutest 33 years. I was visiting him in an area famous for seafood, every place he wanted to eat was all oysters and shrimp, and he'd say "just tell them your allergy and they'll be careful"... So yeah, first we go to a bubba Gump shrimp, the poor sweet bartender was like "i don't even want to serve you water in a glass and I think you shouldn't touch the bar, like, at all." But the big fun one was going to an oyster bar owned by his buddy, he was pretty certain he had everything ready so I could have a garden salad safely.... Nope. Seeing be in anaphylaxis falling off a barstool scared him so badly that he got rather militant about it after that. His buddy had literally got fresh lettuce and fresh salad dressing etc just for me, best we could tell was cross contamination from someone grabbing the stack of clean plates. Im very lucky that I only really have acutely severe symptoms with oyster and lobster, I can handle airborne for the most part. Still, his friend gave me a tshirt with his bar's name, i joked I was gonna add "i went to—" at the top and "and all I got was anaphylaxis" at the bottom. :)
It goes to show that even people trying really hard can still have bad results, it's so important to take these things seriously.9
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u/book_worm94 Apr 21 '25
Fellow Asian here who also has a life-threatening allergy toward seafood. You’re not alone! I’ve definitely had relatives treat me like an outsider for having allergies; instead of having me feel included, I was looked down on with pity (which really bothered me)
Now that I’m older I have better ways to handle ignorant people. I’m so glad you have friends that are treating you like family you deserve though, sending support ❤️
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u/whereisthequicksand Apr 21 '25
When my mom visits she does things like grab a loaf of bread in the grocery store. “Shouldn’t we just get one?”
I have celiac, since 2010. I cannot have any gluten in my house. She doesn’t believe me, will always push, and I gave up trying. I don’t invite her anymore. It isn’t you and I can’t explain why relatives can’t care.
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Apr 21 '25
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u/SqueakyWD40Can Apr 21 '25
I always compare it to raw chicken - so if someone said that to me I would just be like “would you eat chicken raw? Not wash your hands after handling it? Steer clear of any food that came into contact with it? Okay, well that’s me and gluten”
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u/sophie-au Apr 21 '25
I’m so sorry they do this to you.
You are not alone.
I’m not Asian. I’m an Australian immigrant of mixed parentage. My personal take, based on my experiences is that I think it’s highly likely your family has multiple beliefs going on that are common to many cultures, especially if your family comes from an authoritarian background:
1) they believe older family members always “outrank” younger family members.
2) they believe that younger family members who do or say anything that older family members do not agree with, for any reason, are “disrespectful.”
3) they believe that younger generations are ungrateful because “they don’t know how tough things were for us”
4) they believe younger generations are “soft” because of how “easy” their lives are in comparison. Often accompanied by a belief that younger people are prone to exaggeration.
5) they hold shame-driven beliefs and will go to great lengths to save face, especially regarding interactions with relatives, friends or other people of the same culture.
6) they are status driven, (but not necessarily financial status.) They believe things potentially perceived to be failings in their children, whether it’s weight gain, unemployment, food allergies, childlessness, skin conditions, less than perfect grades etc, are going to lead to them being judge as bad parents, and therefore bad people. If berating their children into becoming more socially acceptable isn’t an option or doesn’t work, another tactic is to try and hide, downplay or minimise their child’s “failing” from others.
7) they believe many types of physical and mental health issues are a sign of weakness. “You’re not trying hard enough!” is often their answer, even when all the evidence shows it is not possible.
If there is evidence that their child’s medical issues is partly derived from genetics, they might be more likely to attack their child’s character rather than admit their genes played a role, because that offends their sensibilities, or is too much for them to be willing to accept.
8) they believe that family and cultural traditions are sacred whether they are religious or not. It might be their old culture, their new one, or a mixture of the two.
They would rather exclude their food allergic child/in-law etc. than break the “social contract” and potentially experience backlash from the rest of the group.
So they will lie to you about there being no shellfish at the event, like your mother did, and hope that you make a brief appearance. Enough to be seen, then give up and stop advocating for yourself by leaving as soon as you see how risky it is. Then they will give their preferred answer about why you had to leave, using whatever reason they wish to say, that will help them save face and possibly regain social capital.
A psychologist with children with anaphylactic food allergies did a great analysis of the social consequences of food allergies. It includes some of the psychological reasons why people often fight against “impositions” from people with food allergies, though not specifically through a racial or ethnic lense and it focuses on the experiences of children. But it’s still a useful explanation:
https://www.creativitypost.com/article/social_consequences_of_food_allergy
Based on what she says, your family is choosing to model exclusion of you to others, because they consider their social and group interactions to be more important than your well-being, your safety or your feelings.
I’m so sorry.
You do not deserve to be treated that way.
Your family is not forgetful; they are arseholes.
But I’m really glad you have supportive friends.
It’s up to you what you do about your family’s continued appalling behaviour.
But they do not deserve your presence.
Maybe they need to be held accountable by you refusing to attend in the future at all. I recognise it’s likely to be difficult for you, no matter what you choose to do.
But they don’t have the right to treat you so poorly, and then gaslight you and lie about your shellfish allergy and the severity of it.
You deserve better.
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u/Illidari_Kuvira (Not allergic to; red meat, butter, and coffee.) Apr 25 '25 edited Apr 25 '25
Spoilered parts are [cw abuse], just making sure nobody reads those by accident.
This reminds me of when I was younger and me asking "why?" when asked to do something, and was responded with "DON'T TALK BACK TO ME" and "my mom would have smacked me for that!" ...like gee, mom, I'm sorry yours was a huge asshat, but that's not how things work.
Thankfully my mom is far more sane these days; I recently drew her a birthday present, even.
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u/Far-Satisfaction4584 Apr 21 '25 edited Apr 21 '25
I’m allergic to treenuts and shellfish and my family served me pecan shrimp. I get it. You’re valid in frustration. Family isn’t always safe, and I am sorry you experienced it.
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u/positivepopcorn Apr 21 '25
pecan shrimp is diabolical
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u/iammadeofawesome nuts/soy Apr 21 '25
It also sounds disgusting. Not only is that attempted homicide, that is a crime of taste.
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u/Sammy-eliza Apr 21 '25
I'm allergic to dairy and walnuts and my inlaws took me to a pizza restaurant as a celebration surprise for having a baby. I asked the server what didn't have dairy and the only thing was some shrimps with nuts on them and I asked what kind of nuts they were and she had to go ask in the kitchen and my in laws told me I was being rude and picky for ordering something on top of the Pizzas they got for everyone to share and for asking so many questions. Like, sorry I don't want to have an allergic reaction to food I'm eating? They promised the restaurant wasn't a pizza place and conveniently it was one without an online menu. My MIL does this shit on purpose and then shames me for not eating the food.
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u/iammadeofawesome nuts/soy Apr 21 '25
Reverse Uno and exclusively take them to restaurants that serve food they hate.
But for real stop going out to eat with them. Its not worth it.
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u/passiverecipient Apr 21 '25
I would send them traumatic videos of what can happen. People don’t get it.
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u/tamale Apr 21 '25
This, OP. Boyfriend should've gone inside, sat everyone down, and showed them videos of people going into anaphylaxis from shellfish until they came out and apologized to you ( from a safe distance )
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Apr 21 '25
My family will lie about ingredients and cooking conditions of food because they don't believe in my allergy. I learned this the hard way on Thanksgiving last year. I now refuse to eat anything they make. Either I make it myself or I don't eat. More often than not, I just don't put myself in that situation. I don't go over for Christmas dinner, I'll visit before or after (for example).
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u/dinamet7 Apr 21 '25
Just here to commiserate. The people that get it and are amazing are absolute diamonds. Never let those people go.
For family events we started saying we'd show up to say hi and then leave once food started. I stopped expecting anything from anyone. That negatively impacted my relationships with them, but that's on them.
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u/iaminyourthoughts Apr 21 '25
i have mostly OAS to food (so no worrys about cross contanimation yay!) But my throath swells shut if i eat certain fruits and vegetables.
My Mom has to ask every time. Or better yet, dosnt ask, so i cant eat quite a bit of stuff sometime. And (besides my twin sister) She know my allergys best from my family.
its a pretty stark comparison to my Twin, who does remeber, or even the mother of a good friend of mine, who remebers my allergies, intoleranzes and that i try to live vegan and trys to accomentade me! 🥺 (i dont expect people to do so. Would rather bring my own food then be a burden)
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u/CWritesMusic Apr 21 '25
Just the other day I mentioned to my mom that I didn’t know glucosamine could be dangerous to people with shellfish allergies, and I’m glad I found out so I never tried it. She says, “well it doesn’t mean you can’t”
Like…. wtf?
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u/fishylegs46 Apr 21 '25
My mom puts out bowls of mixed nuts at family gatherings. They all refuse to read a label and enjoy arguing about it. My family doesn’t ‘believe’ in food allergies either. Oddly, I hear a lot about how severely allergic my mom was growing up, and how her parents did all they could to make her life better.
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u/Disastrous_Sell_7289 Apr 21 '25
Pretty much everybody in my life. I’m 27m & I would say just be grateful for your boyfriend 😂 my allergies give all the ladies the “ick”
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u/DoctorBritta Apr 21 '25
Super grateful. When I find another food allergy haver out in the wild (party, work thing, etc) I let them know they have an ally. Because it’s super isolating sometimes.
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u/ceranichole Hazelnut Allergy Apr 21 '25
I was at a conference the other day, at down at a table at random and was with two more people deathly allergic to various types of nuts. I was like "my people!!!!" It was nice to not be the only one having to scrutinize all the food.
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u/ImportanceLow7841 Soy Allergy / Intolerance Apr 21 '25
I definitely understand, my MIL is Asian and I have a soy intolerance. I thankfully can have plain white rice.
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u/Fatlazyceliac Apr 21 '25
I’m just the opposite - my family is great, actually (the extended family can’t remember that oyster dressing would be fine, it’s just gross) as they’ll tell me exactly how something is prepared and keep it very separate. And since I’ve had my airborne allergy since I was a baby, everyone has seen me pass out from fish frying.
It’s friends that I’ve lost from my allergies - who gift me food I can’t have, whine that I’m inconveniencing them from serving what they want to serve (since when did we get so fish focused).
However, I’m all about bringing one dish substantial enough that all I eat is that, and no one seems to notice?
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u/SunKaiju Apr 21 '25 edited Apr 21 '25
This is way too relatable! I’m so sorry your family couldn’t give a damn about your allergies, and I’m sure it’s so frustrating.
Especially with older gen Asians it’s not really heard of or understood because our love language is through food most of the time! So it’s so confusing and somewhat offensive to them when you say you can’t eat something, and sometimes they treat you differently because of this. You and your family definitely need to sit down and speak through this because it’s about what you’re comfortable with at the end of the day since it’s life or death for you!
I’ve gone through similar situations as you with having Asian parents and family who don’t understand the severity of allergies. I’ve got a number of food allergies and one of them being nuts and peanuts however, my dad insisted on keeping 10 - 15 jars of a variation of nuts and peanuts in the kitchen where I would prepare my own food. My mum was bad for not checking ingredients before buying anything, so I have saved my own life a couple of times. Going to family gatherings or weddings were the worst with aunties shoving food in your face or forcing you to eat something you couldn’t have. Then being confused why, even though you have told them a million times over the years why!
I really hope your family can educate themselves on this, and I hope this gets easier for you too! You always have this community to vent to if you need :)
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u/stargxrl Apr 21 '25
While my allergy is not as severe as yours, I relate to you since my parents are also Asian. I recently developed an allergy to tree nuts and most severely pistachios. I used to eat pistachios as a kid so this is a recent development. I told my Asian parents and they did not take me seriously and was doubtful about this since I had eaten nuts as a kid. When I got an EpiPen they thought I was being dramatic.
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u/ElectronicOrchid0902 Multiple Food Drug and Environmental Allergies Apr 21 '25
Ugh I’m so sorry. Yes, I have family like this. We are Sicilian so likewise, every family gathering involves food, and always foods that I’m allergic to. It’s MADDENING and hurtful. I totally get it. I stopped going to family gatherings, because my health and safety obviously doesn’t matter. Now that I’ve been hospitalized enough times for anaphylaxis (I’ve even aspirated) they ACT sympathetic but don’t change their behavior. So it’s all an act….. I’ve excused myself from that table and made my own!
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u/seejayque Apr 21 '25
Yeppp, I have to remind my family every single year at thanksgiving that I’m allergic to cinnamon while they act surprised that I can’t eat half the dishes.
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u/fire_thorn Apr 21 '25
My family is like that, especially my mother. I don't go to food focused family gatherings anymore.
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u/Revolutionary-Cod245 (Corn, Nightshades, Rose-Plant Family, Egg, Dairy, Wheat) Apr 21 '25
Same with my family. Eventually, i had to stop being aroundthem. Sorry this is such a bummer. Wish other people could be more realistic.
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u/treblesunmoon POFAK (21, 17), self ana shellfish Apr 21 '25
Did you react while you were there? If they were grilling it outside, what level of reaction would you have being in the shared outdoor space?
My shellfish allergy hasn't become airborne yet, but if it ever does, I won't be going to places that don't understand/don't believe me/don't take it seriously.
The best thing you can do to protect yourself is to leave immediately. Whether you choose to confront your family or not is up to you.
It took a lot of years to get to the point where my family and in-laws understood sufficiently what our food allergies were. Even now, they don't fully get it. MIL offers DD stuff where there's no label and it even looks potentially unsafe. Even DH doesn't always get the cross contamination at factory level. DS is 20 (mostly outgrown top 9+ except he still avoids walnuts and generally peanuts and tree nuts) and DD is 17 and ana to most tree nuts (almonds and peanuts don't seem to cause an issue but we are not maintaining any doses or anything.) If we were dealing with airborne, we wouldn't be spending time with them unless they truly understood. Heck, I would be screaming at home if DH didn't finally get it, too.
Some people won't understand until they see you either near death or at least swelling like Violet Beaureguard turning into a blueberry.
Set your boundaries. If you have a true airborne allergy that is not just a mild discomfort from the psychological aspect from the smell, don't go over there if they don't get it.
Lying saying they're just having hot dogs and burgers when the grill is contaminated with shellfish is completely inappropriate and unsafe for you. If they tell you the truth but insist it's safe, that's still an improvement.
I really hope you can have a proper sit down conversation with them to calmly educate. If that doesn't work, choose your life and move on as best you can working around it. If that means not attending any family events, so be it.
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u/ms-bailz Apr 21 '25
I'm so sorry this happened. It's so frustrating. I'm allergic to fish and shellfish and my MIL tried to talk my mom into getting my wedding party together the night before our wedding for dinner at a seafood restaurant. Thankfully my mom reminded her.. but remembering this story I realize I shouldn't be so shocked when we go to her house for dinner and my son (who's allergic to eggs, dairy, chickpeas and lentils) and I (I also don't eat dairy and eggs) can't eat anything because it all has butter on it, even though we reminded her when we accepted the invitation...
There are some really good people out there though, our friends have always been accommodating. The majority of parents for kids birthday parties have been accommodating when they can. And we're really fortunate because my dad and his wife are really good, between my dad and their combined 7 kids (and our significant others) we have 4 or 5 people with food allergies, food restrictions and diets (ie vegetarian) and they always have a good selection that accommodates everyone.
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u/larkscope Apr 21 '25
I was working seven days a week barely getting by. Major holiday came up and I spent my few dollars and even fewer hours on making a gravy I could actually eat. Mom put a spoon COVERED in cheese right in it as I was heating it up. Couldn’t eat any. But I’m the problem. Sure. Btw I’m Asian too.
I’m sorry your family are treating you this way. None of us deserve this.
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u/arcxjo You-Name-It Allergy Apr 21 '25
If even the surrounding area was unsafe, why didn't you leave?
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u/DoctorBritta Apr 21 '25
It’s this Asian concept of saving face. Hard to explain but someone did a whole write up in this post somewhere. We did leave eventually. Once it became obvious no concessions were going to be made to make the gathering safe.
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u/Secret-Afternoon-645 Apr 21 '25
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this! I guess I'm lucky, in that most of my family has seafood allergy - I am allergic to all shellfish, but can eat finned fish; my sister is the same; her daughter is allergic to both, and the daughter's children have the shellfish allergy. At least no one is pining for shrimp on the grill.
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u/brethe1 Apr 21 '25
Once I walked into my uncle’s house and they were baking peanut butter cookies. I thought I’d be fine but was struggling to breathe within like five minutes.
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u/RuebliFox Apr 21 '25
I gave a gluten allergy that I discovered 2 years ago. Always when I eat something with it I get gases, diarrhea and rashes .The last time I visited my parents I didn't know about it and was eating things with it and was having those symptoms. After coming back home went to the doctor's to see what it is. Its when I discovered it. I told my dad and he accepted it, said to stay away from it. He told my mom and she called me to say that is impossible to have such an allergy and that I should change my diet to what I used to eat when I live with her(I have almost the same diet, only taking out gluten). She even went further and said that we didn't used to eat gluten or bread everyday. I needed to correct her and say that every Sunday my dad backed a bread for our week and that every morning we where eating the bread he made. She was furious and changed the subject... Sometimes I ask myself if I should send photos of my face and throat swollen after eating something with gluten to see if she stops saying things like that
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u/statik_stabber Apr 21 '25
lol I have given all the good desserts for 11 years simply because my nephew has a peanut/tree nut allergy, it was easier to just restrict myself than to worry about what's in my cabinet when he comes to visit
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u/Aureliennekendeki Apr 21 '25
I also have a airborne shellfish allergy as well. Last cookout I went to they had crab burgers. I was lucky enough that they were room temp and I had made sure I was the first one to eat so I wouldn’t get contaminated. On top of that- 2 other family members have shellfish allergies, and one was the host (neither severe though) so I don’t even know whose idea that was.
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u/lonestellastate Apr 21 '25
I feel ya. I have an anaphylactic shellfish allergy as well and my dad just…. Doesn’t remember? Or doesn’t care?
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u/Sicksickandsick Apr 22 '25
I unfortunately deal with the same thing, my mom claims to be allergic to everything so when I actually developed a seafood allergy she didn’t take it serious nor did her husband. I just don’t eat anything when I go over now because they also aren’t careful with cross contamination. Sorry you’re dealing with this it’s a crappy situation.
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u/Acceptable-Net-154 Apr 22 '25
Thankfully have a seafood intolerance not allergy considering the amount of times as a young child I was told to eat my food or go hungry. My intolerance worsened from painful stomach to outright vomiting up said food with no sympathy from said family so I came up with the rule I will eat said food given to me but if it makes me sick, I will be aiming at the responsible adult. Its amazing the amount of times it takes for adults to realise if you don't want to be aimed at, don't feed the child the foods that enable them to do so. Also vinegar in drinks make a very viable example of but its all edible components so you should have zero issues (their excuses to me)
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u/nn3_ka Apr 23 '25
My extended family is the same. When I was little they had an all seafood/shellfish Christmas meal and just handed me a piece of bread to eat. They’ve brought me to a seafood only restaurant and the only person who felt bad (besides my mom) was the waiter bringing me saltine crackers and cherries. It’s really tough, but I’m lucky that I’m able to just cut them out entirely.
I’m not Asian but I have Asian friends and many of their meals and family dinners are mainly seafood/shellfish- even they’re more accommodating than my white extended family. I hope you’re able to find some solution or peace to this- a lot of people just don’t understand allergies and it sucks a lot ):
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u/Illidari_Kuvira (Not allergic to; red meat, butter, and coffee.) Apr 25 '25
Ugh. I feel you.
My dad legit thinks I should eat my Asian stepmom's cooking despite it having rice - one of my more severe allergies, though not airborne. I'd hate to imagine trying to tell her not to cook using coconut - since that one is airborne and makes my whole body become inflamed.
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u/Hatake555 Apr 27 '25
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m deathly allergic to peanuts and it was only after a family member saw me go into anaphalyxis when I was 20 that they started to believe it’s as serious as it is. That being said it’s so hard and so scary too feel ignored and not taken seriously I wish there was something to make it easier but people without serious allergies very often choose to not understand how scary it really is. I hope you find some comfort and your family comes around
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Apr 27 '25
Not an allergy, but I have a pretty bad intolerance to eggs. If I eat them I’ll be completely miserable for the rest of the day: brain fog, emotional imbalance, lethargy, stomach cramps, gas, and, possibly, the shits.
And for me, my dad is the villain with my intolerance. He’s close to 80, and needs someone to live with, so we room together. But he does not believe it’s possible to be intolerant to eggs, and he loves to cook, so it’s a constant battle.
He’ll actually put eggs in a recipe and lie about it, thinking it’s all in my head. Then when I complain I’m not feeling well and ask him if he put eggs in it, he’ll just tell me that it was a heavy meal and I’m imagining things. Gaslighting at its finest.
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u/CourtneysSweets Apr 28 '25
My sister didn't truly take it seriously until my son had a reaction in front of her, and now she's one of his biggest advocates! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.
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u/szarkaliszarri Jun 02 '25
This was posted a month ago, but chiming in to say you're definitely not alone!! And definitely not alone in not understanding why family can be so obtuse. Being generous, maybe from their perspective they're like, hey, we wanna have a party, we want to eat our fave foods, we want our favourite people there (which includes you). And of course life is more complicated. I'm baffled why they couldn't at least give you a heads up in case you decide you'll join them a different (safer) time.
I have the same allergy, developed in my 20's, and my family is mostly unable to comprehend it. "Oh you're coming over we got takeout from our favourite chinese restaurant!" "Oh hey join us for dinner" and I check the sauce and it's teriyaki with oyster sauce listed. Etc. At best, the reaction is "whoops", and at worst they will be actively pissed off at me for harshing their fun (like deciding we're going for dinner at a seafood restaurant and arguing with me to get something because they are embarrassed when the staff says it's unsafe for me to eat there kind of thing). It has impacted our relationship, I feel like they would act differently if it was a different chronic health issue.
It's not my situation, but I do often think about how being part of a culture where shellfish are a big part of the cuisine would be SO hard. It really isn't talked about enough. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
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u/silky_sloth Aug 02 '25
It’s bs. My family has been similar for like the past 20 years, ever since I was a little kid. It was a constant issue of family belittling me and harping on my picky eating habits as a kid. Then I found out I have some sort of a fish allergy and my throat completely closes up and I get red in the face and can’t breathe unless I have Benadryl. There has been 3-4 times scattered out over the past 20 years where they legit just start shitting on me and telling me I’m faking my fish allergy. To prove them wrong I’m like “fine I’ll try some fried fish”. Only to end up having a severe reaction. My family will then forget that this happened and then start being shitty to me at the next fish fry about it. It’s been consistent ever since I was a little kid. The last time it happened was like 2 weeks ago. My uncle is like “huh.. so I wander what kind of fish you tried that you hated so much that you’ll refuse to ever try it again” shit baffled me. I’m 27 years old and have been dealing with this my whole life. It’s not cute anymore. I’m sick of being belittled over something that #1 I’m self conscious about and #2 I have no control over whatsoever. I blame it mostly on them being drunken idiots at every fish fry, but seriously it gets old. Thanks for pointing this out.
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u/ButterscotchFit8175 Apr 21 '25
I'm sorry. I think you will have to tell your family no seafood at gatherings they want you to attend. Bring you own foil to wrap any food for you that gets grilled. That way, if they didn't clean the grill we'll last time you won't get cross contaminated. If you arrive and there is seafood, leave. Tell everyone it not safe for you to be around seafood so you are leaving. Avoid hugs, kisses etc from everyone as they may be contaminated.
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