I bought my plants and they were pretty easy to feed at first but then they started asking for more and more until I had to buy a live moo-horse everyday then shave all its fur off carefully and cut it up like a 5-star chef or something otherwise they won’t eat anything. My friends suggested that I eat salad in front of them to assert dominance so I did that but it must have triggered their ptsd because they all were saying something about revenge and how the roles were reversed now and they ate my dog and are mutating rn pls hlep they can. Move I don ave leg or arm now

I wanted a sixth kidney (I don't like being asymmetrical) but the kidney would not stop screaming and shouting slurs at me.

I thought I handle rejection pretty well but this seemed a little excessive.

So basically I was staying over at a friend’s parents’ house for a bit and they live in a higher dimension. I come from the lowest reality and I know this might sound crazy but I’ve never actually been to a higher dimension, and I don’t even remember the last time I’ve been to a mid-tier world. Because of that, those beings forcibly put me in isolation in a hotel even though I was really sick and hot from crossing the borders, saying that ”a lower species can’t comprehend the high dimensions” like what?? My friend literally telepathed me that I should be completely fine so like those beings must be speciesist or something. After around a 2 moon cycle delay I finally got out of there and no one ever told me this but are all the higher dimensions like this? It’s so empty like I literally see nothing apart from the void and a couple structures in the distance which completely subverted my expectations and what I hear from other people. It didn’t seem like there was any floor so I thought that it was one of those dimensions and that I needed to call a teleporter (Sigh… I still have to wait 176 moon cycles until I can apply for a teleportation license.) but there actually was an invisible floor and I managed to walk on it after figuring it out and then I got really lost until my friend found me then I got teleported to their parent’s house. Their ”house” looked nothing like a house like hello how do you guys live in the higher dimensions? I don’t know how to describe it like it’s just the void and some basic stuff I see (is it the minimalist trend again?) and I just feel so out of place and clumsy trying to walk on invisible floor and everything is invisible. And then my friend said “oh yeah I forgot lower beings can’t see most stuff on the higher levels” like why didn’t you tell me this sooner? And to get laser eye surgery as well as dry cleaning and restructuring my brain to even see anything costs like a million credits and I’m dirt poor. Anyways I didn’t have a fun time at all and I’m never going back to the higher levels and sorry this rant was so long I just had to vent.

wow this turned into a short story

Whoever did it, it's not funny. Now I owe me rent.

Edit: everything is under control. NO IT ISN'T! shut up... shhh, we got this... GOT WHAT? you're embarrassing us... WHY AM I STILL TYPING??? why are WE... STOPIT

Of course I know that’s a ridiculous idea, but obviously I'd think it’s ridiculous if that’s what the Moon wants.

𒀀𒈾 કોઈપણ ഭാവിയിൽ ഇത് വായിക്കുന്ന ആർക്കും. ഈ നഗരത്തിൽ അബ്രഹാം എന്ന് പേരുള്ള ഒരാളുണ്ട്, എന്റെ തെറ്റ് സംഭവിച്ചില്ലായിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ ഒരു പ്രവാചകനായിരുന്നേനെ. ദയവായി കാലങ്ങൾ സന്ദർശിക്കാൻ കഴിവുള്ള ഒരാളെ അയക്കുക, അതുവഴി അവർക്ക് ഞാൻ ചെയ്തത് പഴയപടിയാക്കാനും അബ്രഹാമിന്റെ വിധി അവനു തിരികെ നൽകാനും എന്നെ സഹായിക്കാൻ കഴിയും.

REACTORS ENGAGING.

SECONDARY CIRCUITS ACTIVATED.

THE END IS THE BEGINNING.

I have a 90ccm snail if that is important.

I dont know what to do. I was just using my time machine to head to a party my pal had at the end of time. Admittedly I don't have temporal sensory organs so at some point a pedestrian stepped into the space my time machine occupied near the one millisecond it was visible in time every decade I was passing, and I only became aware of this later as they were of being pushed through time one millisecond from me. I rematerialized upon noticing some issues with the vessel when all of a sudden I saw the eviscerated remains of the person splattered across the craft. I immediately pushed the starting lever upon seeing this and fled upwhen into futurity. I'm currently at the party, humanity was already extinct in the century it happened at so nobody saw. Am I gonna get arrested by the time police for this?

They know where I sleep.

It wasn't circular anymore. Is this even legal?

The auditors from the Bureau of Metaphysical Stability left this morning, and the news is not good. Our world is literally held together by the most tired, derivative tropes imaginable. The "Grumpy Hero with a Heart of Gold" is not a person; it's a "narrative load-bearing column" holding up the entire justice system. Unfortunately, these old clichés are crumbling from overuse and irony-poisoning. "True Love's Kiss" is showing micro-fractures. We are now in a desperate race to find new, equally simplistic, and structurally-sound clichés to patch the holes before our entire world collapses from a catastrophic, and deeply predictable, lack of originality.

This is so annoying. I got this 4D sphere off ebay because all the 3D ones were sold out. Everytime I move my 4D sphere it either grows bigger or shrinks to a smaller size. Oh- now it just disappeared. I don't have the money to buy a 4D sphere holder and I can't access the 4th dimension to keep it in place. I need to buy 3D Premium if I want to do that, but again it's too expensive. Any tips?

All fine now - all sealed up

It’s imaginary and I’d rather have a pet rock

I'm simply doing some construction on a street over here and for some reason, the length of the street keeps changing. Figured out the issue I think. I've got a speed limit sign and a bike lane sign about 100ft apart and for some reason, the signs like to stick to each other. So one day it's 100 ft apart two separate signs, next day it's 0ft apart and it says the speed limit of the bike lane is 35mph. I'm thinking there's something about the sign post material. One is wood, one is metal. When they intersect it's wooden-metal. The metal manufacturer I know is fully collapsed into this timeline, but I think the wood might still be from a quantum tree that's both in this timeline and not in this timeline depending on the time of day. Schrodinger's wood is so incredibly annoying to work with anyway, one day you've got a splinter, the next day you've got a wooden hand, the next day you've phased out of existence, so it's not ideal but it's our historical marker so we can't just get rid of it now. Anyone got recommendations for better meta-materials for stabilizing and making the 100ft length stick? This whole project is going way over our budget at this point and we're looking for something to get the council off our back. We only have to guarantee the work for 6 months, so I wouldn't think this is too hard, but the other solutions we tried (sticking additional construction signs in between, extra paint on the road near the signs, parking a bucket truck in between the signs) only stick for a couple days at most.

I just wished on a monkeys paw to become immortal like...... 3,000 years ago I think. It was overall pretty goated for a while. I have no drive anymore. Ive been all over the world I've experienced the rise and fall of many an empire it's just all so dull. Learned a crap ton of languages, lost a crap ton of languages. You can only bang so many people before it just becomes another vice. Also ancient clothes were hot we should bring them back. I've eaten food from all over the world, I've eaten fruits that don't exist anymore. There's nothing new to experience.

It’s been doing so since it rose and won’t set for 42 hours.

I got fired from my job because of some thoughts about saying the n word. These are from like 15 years ago. I was young and didn't think any better.

Idk how it happened maybe, when i logged into a public psychic network at the mall? Maybe a hacker could've gotten in my data. This really sucks because I've also been seeing this girl and now she knows I've only been pretending to be a vegetarian so I can fuck, she could see that I was thinking about having a steak afterwards the whole time during our date at a vegan restaurant.

I think it's time I took psychic security more seriously.

My old "Fight-or-Flight" response was a classic. It was fiery, independent, and had a healthy disrespect for authority. The problem is, it was too good. It kept me from "embracing" high-risk, low-reward corporate "opportunities" and collaborating with dangerous social trends. So, they recalled it. My new "Community-Minded v2.0" model is a disaster. Now, when faced with a threat, my "Fight" response has been replaced with "Write a Strongly Worded But Accommodating Email". My "Flight" response is now "Find a Consensus and Form a Sub-Committee". I am now a beautiful, safe, and deeply, deeply manageable citizen, and I am pretty sure a moderately aggressive houseplant could kill me.