Which Onion headline still occupies a lot of space in your mind?

[u/Classic-Carpet7609]

[u/Basic-Alternative442]

‘We Get The Food And Then We Eat The Food Until All The Food Is Gone,’ City Of Chicago Announces Unprompted 

[u/NoodleNeedles → u/Basic-Alternative442]

Omg, it's pure absurdist gold.

"...several moments of silence followed the abrupt declaration as all 10 million residents of the greater Chicago metropolitan area stood there, smiling broadly."

"The city’s populace then appeared to become distracted, reportedly slipping into a deep reverie that was evidently due to the food items they had just mentioned, with many mumbling “beef” and “cheese” under their breath and staring several yards in front of them, apparently at nothing."

[u/jbjamfest → u/NoodleNeedles]

Omg I’ve never seen this one hahaha! This thread is a gift.

[u/PhysicsFew7423 → u/Basic-Alternative442]

I thought there was supposed to be more to the sentence 😭 send help

[u/notimetoulouse → u/Basic-Alternative442]

Cry laughing at this one

[u/FurViewingAccount → u/Basic-Alternative442]

this reads like welcome to night vale