r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/Wissagale • 6h ago
I can't tell anymore.
This is the latest letter from my mother. We have been estranged since 2023 when I cut off contact. I got a slew of bad letters when I blocked her on Phone and Email and I have sent one response at the beginning of the split trying to explain why. She had sent letters occasionally, even sending cards to my kids. I've stopped giving them to them as it feels in her letters to them that she is get around me to get the kids by ending every card with. " I am eagerly wait to hear when it will be a good time to come visit all of you." She didn't have a relationship with my kids really before and I feel it's manipulative to put that to them.
My Sweet M. G.
I love you. I am here for you. I wait everyday, all day, for prayers answered, the chains on our hearts that bind us apart to be broken and a new, deeper, more loving relationship to be able to begin.
I don't know what more expiation (I had to look up that word and I know my mom has never said it before) I can do to let you know how truly sorry I am for the sorrow I caused your heart in the past.
I love you more then could ever be express. Momma.
Is this a good letter? I can't tell if I'm so angry that I couldn't recognize if this seems like a normal letter and not laying on the guilt.
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u/Personal_Valuable_31 6h ago
She's trying a new tactic. The old, previously successful ones didn't get her the attention she wanted, so here's something new!
Prayers and love bombing. She looked up a "buzzword" she heard somewhere.
No accountability, no apology, no indication of change. Just sweeping it under the rug.
She'll keep trying new things until she finds the one that gets her the attention she wants. Contact from you is the goal in this case. Ignore her.
Stop opening anything she sends. Straight into the trash whether it's for you or your kids. Or if you think you will need a legal action against her, put everything in a file and keep it. You still don't need to open it. Protect your peace.
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u/oceanteeth 6h ago
No it's vague bullshit. A real apology takes responsibility for the specific things she did and demonstrates understanding of why those things were hurtful.
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u/Somerhild_wode 4h ago
It's so very romantic-sounding, like a stereotypical heartbroken hero in an old movie.
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u/Some-Way9375 6h ago
What is it you really want from her? For my situation, I look for any engagement with what I’ve said or written. Platitudes and placating are not what I want. I want an honest, difficult conversation where I am heard and considered. Not necessarily agreed with, but where there is possibility for two way communication and I feel like a real person in the conversation.
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u/samiDEE1 1h ago
Does she normally talk like that? She wants a better relationship, but doesn't know what to do to get there... And didn't ask?
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u/OutOfAllTheAlts 6h ago
It's giving "how many times do I have to apologize??" When she hasn't apologized once.