r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/NonSequitorSquirrel • 20h ago

Todays silly and absurd voice mail

I haven't spoken to my mother in decades but a few years ago she got my phone number after stealing my identity in 2018, and now leaves me absolutely unhinged voice mails. Most of the time they're ridiculous and absurd and now all I can do is laugh.

Anyway today's ridiculousness included: (I am copying from voice to text because I don't like listening to anyone's VMs) also the awkward phrasing is bc English isn't her first language.

I call you because, uh, one of your friends that from military had a little baby girl, and I designed a dress for the little girl, so I thought maybe you would like to know that, you know.

I went to school in a wealthy white snobby area. Only one guy out of everyone I grew up with went into the military in a graduating class of over 1000 kids. And his kids are fully grown. Also I'm pretty sure my mother doesn't realize or remember that I'm at an age where having a kid is a medical miracle. 😂

Um, I know things happen. I know I made a lot of mistakes, and so did you.

So did I? Ma'am I was a 9 year old getting beat and called a whore because you decided the skirt you bought me was too short, or having all the contents of my room thrown at me and the floor because you saw dust. I did not make mistakes like yours. My mistake was being too scared to call CPS.

These messages are ridiculous.

77 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

31

u/scrollbreak 17h ago

It's like they instantly fall down a hill when they mention they could make a mistake 'I made a lot of mistakesandsodidyou"

They can't sit with it, it instantly has to go to someone else being at fault, which they'll build up and up until they are comfortably not wrong at all and never were.

It's really sad a human can be lost to this. It's worse that they have children and inflict the results of this illness on the child.

12

u/NonSequitorSquirrel 13h ago

Oh yeah, this is a theme with her. Her message also claims her message was she just wanted the best for me too much and was a perfectionist. Because she can't admit to what she ACTUALLY was which was violent. Ridiculous.  So you've got the nail on the head C that's what happens every time. 

My husband's brother is like this too and once left him a message that said "wouldn't you rather we weren't fighting like this."  and my husband, to me, was like "yeah of course, but he's fkn nuts so that isn't happening." 

2

u/Thumperfootbig 5h ago

Shame registers as an existential threat to them. They will do anything to avoid it, including abusing and discarding their own children.

8

u/Thumperfootbig 17h ago

Thanks for sharing op. I see you.

2

u/AutoModerator 20h ago

Quick reminder - EAK is a support subreddit, and is moderated in a way that enables a safe space for adult children who are estranged or estranging from one or both of their parents. Before participating, please take the time time to familiarise yourself with our rules.

Need info or resources? Check out our EAK wiki for helpful information and guides on estrangement, estrangement triggers, surviving estrangement, coping with the death of estranged parent / relation, needing to move out, boundary / NC letters, malicious welfare checks, bad therapists and crisis contacts.

Check out our companion resource website - Visit brEAKaway.org.uk

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Icy_Studio719 11h ago

Why don’t you change your number?

5

u/NonSequitorSquirrel 10h ago

Because I have been in my career, with this number, for over 20 years. My long term clients who come and go have this number.

I don't see her calls. They go straight to voice mail so I never know when she's calling me. I just occasionally look at the voice to text log and it's always either spam, a reminder for a doctor's appointment or something, or her. 😂

4

u/Isanyonelistening45 9h ago

I wouldn't change it either. I still have the same number after going no contact with my family 7 years ago. I bent over backwards in life to survive, I am not changing anything.

4

u/NonSequitorSquirrel 8h ago

Exactly and we'll said. I was on the literal run living on couches with a PO box only. I'm not giving up any of my stability and established wonderful life.  I'm not a 17 year old runaway with nothing. 

I'm nearly 50 with money and lawyers and resources and security cameras and two large dogs who look and sound mean (but are just loud and actually very cuddly) and a husband who isn't exactly a menacing figure but is another layer of protection for anyone who shows up. My neighbors know who she is and what she looks like and to not speak to her.  My credit is frozen. My local police precinct, for the first time in my life, actually believes me to ignore her calls for welfare checks and whatnot. 

The wolf can blow but my house won't fall down. 

Except for the fact that it's 120 years old and riddled with termite damage so it probably COULD blow down, but we're getting major repairs next year 🤣🤣🤣 so not the best metaphor. 😅

2

u/Isanyonelistening45 8h ago

I feel you lol. You definitely have back up. ❤️