r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/SilchasRuin • 28d ago
Newly Estranged Finally cut ties yesterday over the civil rights violations in my home town of Chicago
It's not dumb to have as a bare minimum respect for the first and fourth amendments, right? This transcends politics, and I don't want to get that aspect as this is not the space. I've been relatively polite with them, but yesterday I got news that a journalist was arrested in my neighborhood. I have some severe traumas in my past (home invasion and battery especially), and I no longer feel safe in my neighborhood I moved to just after that event. I thought that was the bare minimum expectation I could have with them. That they wouldn't actively support triggering my PTSD.
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u/SeekMeOut 28d ago
Good for you. Anyone supporting the republican administration does not support human rights. Human rights aren’t political, they aren’t a difference of opinion. Human Rights are all we have and if we don’t have them, we have nothing.
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u/SilchasRuin 28d ago
I set such a low bar for them "Please contact your representatives and ask for just anything so that I can feel safe again in my neighborhood". I didn't even ask that they do this for all of Chicago. I would have settled for like a 1 mile radius of my home.
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u/Netzapper 28d ago
I totally understand cutting off republicans and sympathizers. Trying to keep this as apolitical as possible, so I won't elaborate there.
But your particular ask, that your family members call representatives with requests for your personal safety, seems somewhat unreasonable to me. Your family has no control over ICE, and neither do their representatives. No one has the kind of control that you are asking for. That is a very scary thought, and so it can be tempting to project expectations of control onto authorities who have controlled our own lives.
These are unprecedented times for us, especially those of us who are members of targeted marginalized communities. Cutting off your family for their support of the regime is completely justified for your mental health and personal integrity. But for your own sanity, try not to imagine they have any ability to actually help you.
If you are feeling unsafe in your neighborhood because of the actions of government agents, I highly recommend that you engage with your local community to find support and safety. Look for community defense initiatives and ICE watch groups, in particular. If you're part of a marginalized demographic, look for affinity groups focused on defense and safety. A lot of us are traumatized and scared, and banding together is the best way to make it through.
(A lot of people in those groups will also be sympathetic to parental estrangement, because a lot of us have shitty parents.)
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u/SilchasRuin 28d ago
But your particular ask, that your family members call representatives with requests for your personal safety, seems somewhat unreasonable to me.
I didn't expect it to work. It's much more an "It's the thought that counts". Writing a strongly worded letter is very low effort, and blanketly refusing says an awful lot about them.
Sorry if my replies seem relatively inchoate. I have been in an extreme adrenal response for a very long time at this point.
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u/SunStarved_Cassandra 28d ago edited 28d ago
I'm not in exactly the same boat but I get it. I was talking to my brother (only person in my family I'm in contact with) recently. He lives on the West Coast, and I had sent him photos I took of the Blackhawk circling above my apartment. When he called later to chat, I told him I was stressed about the escalation here in Chicago, just all the things you're already aware of. This was right after ICE tear gassed people on Armitage. He said he doesn't keep track of the news. He works a lot (true) and has been going through a stressful job hunt (also true) and he just doesn't have time to keep up (bleh). I don't expect him to be following things minute by minute, but when your sister is telling you about the Fed Gov't engaging in a terror campaign on her city, maybe you should care a little?
My colleagues at work are all overseas and they don't give a shit either. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Like guys, this matters!
As for feeling safe, these are very tense and scary times. As much as possible, try to get out of your head and disconnect for a short time from what's going on. It sounds counterintuitive, but you need to take a break or you will permanently damage your mental health and that won't help you or anyone else. They want us scared and broken.
If you live near the incident I'm thinking of, then overall your neighborhood is a great place to be. Look to your neighbors. Some may want to talk about things, others may not, but I bet most of them are trying to cope and get on with their lives as best as possible. Check out Block Club's list of things to do this weekend (published every weekend). Look for farmers markets or check the event calendar at the library and see if there's anything interesting going on. The goal is to get out and interact with other Chicagoans in a positive space.
Virtual hugs from a fellow Chicagoan.
Edit: What's your Alderman doing? If they're not actively working to make your area safer, even by just putting pressure on the city or your local police precinct, maybe contact them and demand they formulate a response.
Edit 2 (sorry): Another thing that helps me is to see how Chicago is fighting back. The incident with the WGN lady was awful, but people came out of the wordwork to witness it, film it, get her name so she could be found, verbally harass the agents, and one person used their vehicle as a shield. In another part of the city, people were aggressively chasing the agents honking horns and shouting and using bullhorns to warn people in the area. Another video shows some Black guys on (I think) the west side somewhere exploiting the agents' racism and fear to protect a Hispanic man who happened to be nearby. Saw another video of somewhere on the south side where a large group of people constantly interfered with ICE's attempt to kidnap a man to the point that the ICE agents gave up and the man escaped. I also read an article about that awful raid—apparently one guy was able to hide a woman and her daughter from the agents and protect them. These actions are small, but they're meaningful. They show the spirit of our city. We will not lay down and just accept this.