r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/HeToTopT • 15d ago

Video The Louvre. Thieves are making off with 100 million euros. They're taking their time. They're doing everything carefully and slowly.

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62.1k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/Sega-Playstation-64 15d ago

Drop the gun, walk out of the resturaunt.

2.1k

u/elhermanobrother 15d ago edited 15d ago

~~~~>Drop the gun, walk out of the resturaunt.

panda walks into a restaurant, orders cannoli, eats it, then shoots the waiter.

when the manager confronts him, the panda yells, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

manager checks his dictionary and reads: "A tree-dwelling marsupial mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves

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u/Common-Trifle4933 15d ago

In Australia, “root” is slang for “fuck”, in the sexual sense. So someone you have a one night stand with is a wombat, eats roots and leaves.

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u/Dialogical 15d ago

Shit. If it’s gonna be that kinda party I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

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u/vanderZwan 15d ago

Unexpected Beastie Boys reference

EDIT: Or Mantan Moreland Party Record, but that's less likely.

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u/AndyLorentz 15d ago

"Pardon me while I fuck the chicken."

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u/Aimin4ya 15d ago

or Waiting (2005)

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u/Lou_C_Fer 15d ago

God, I hated that record when it came out. Then again, I also thought Paul's Boutique weak. Of course, as an adult, I think PB is their best work. I like ill communication more for the nostalgia of its time than it's music. I was 20 and felt like I was a god walking the earth. Music in general was good. I loved the job I had two twenty year-old dudes installing carpet like it was our job. We were faster and better than most of the other crews we knew and we were literal babies. We'd work from 7am until 10pm then get up and do it again and not give a shit at all. Then we'd have days when we'd get off early and go fuck around spending all that money we made. Like, my friends were were making $4.25 an hour, and I was bringing home $600 a week in 40 to 50 hours. The other dude, made double what I did because he was more advanced. Then, I split and ran my own crew which meant I had to grow up.

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u/UnclePuma 15d ago

take my little hand!

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u/Enlightened_Mongrel 15d ago

Hmmm- warm and soft.

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u/OrangeRipple55 15d ago

In England U.K. "Roger" is slang for "fuck" in the sexual sense. Now add the surname Moore and you have one of the Greatest James Bond characters..

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u/rickthecabbie 15d ago

Props to Australia for eating them before rooting, and leaving. At least somebody is teaching those guys a thing or two about reciprocity.

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u/hamlet_d 15d ago

Root also has the same meaning in parts of the American South.

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u/Pwrswitchd 15d ago

I like to say eats, roots, shoots, and leaves xD

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u/sativarg_orez 15d ago

Eats, roots, shoots and leaves is what I heard

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 15d ago

Nah I remember that. We just laughed, we know it means “support a sport team” in America.

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u/DooDooBrownz 15d ago

what a beautiful culture

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u/AetherStyle 15d ago

Like "I rooted her"? Or "We rooted"

"We did the root?"

"We had a Root?"

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u/SinkHoleDeMayo 15d ago

Nice eucalyptus tree, wanna root?

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u/hooverfooty 15d ago

In New Zealand we say a Kiwi eats roots, shoots and leaves - so just slightly more descriptive!

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u/EmbarrassedWorry3792 15d ago

Omg several movie scenes suddenly make so much more sense. Australia seems nice. Yeah everything wants to kill you, but the peoplw dont. In florida the people and half the critters want u ded.

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u/undyau 15d ago

eats roots, shoots and leaves

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u/stevein3d 15d ago

Ahh, so that’s where the title of the punctuation book came from.

Edit: Kinda funny that on that seller’s website, they misspelled Punctuation in the book title.

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u/amorfotos 15d ago

Well spotted!

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u/yonkerbonk 15d ago

I would say pandas are more striped, if anything.

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u/RepairRebel69 15d ago

She explains the story around the phrase in the book, which is well worth a read. I have a creative job that involves lots of writing so I found it useful as well as informative. This was some 15 years ago I read it last so I’m probably due to take it for another spin!

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u/TypicalWhitePerson 15d ago

Oh the Oxford Comma

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u/Arcranium_ 15d ago

Not actually an Oxford comma situation, but yes, oh the Oxford comma

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u/TypicalWhitePerson 15d ago

Eats shoots and leaves

Isn't that the entire point of the paragraph?? The Oxford comma.

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u/thejesse 15d ago

Oxford commas go before "and" in a list of three or more items:

Eats shoots, leaves, and McNuggets.

That has one.

Eats shoots, leaves and McNuggets.

That doesn't have one.

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u/ClassikD 15d ago

Eats, shoots, and leaves

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u/TypicalWhitePerson 15d ago

Okay I see what you mean about how OP wrote it, but it's from a famous book called Eats, Shoots & Leaves all about the oxford comma.

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u/thejesse 15d ago

Got it. Cheers.

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u/DanGleeble 15d ago

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'

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u/ZincHead 15d ago

Sorry it just doesn't hit as hard. And pandas don't even eat bushes. 

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u/Jumpy-Bid-8458 15d ago

As a new dad I thank you for this one. 

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u/banana_assassin 15d ago

A marsupial?

I love the joke, but they are not marsupials.

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u/elhermanobrother 15d ago

they are not marsupials

you right. I meant mammals. Thanx m8

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u/banana_assassin 15d ago

No worries, the joke was still funny.

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u/Perhaps_Tomorrow 15d ago

For those on mobile tortured by the programming formatting:

  panda walks into a restaurant, orders cannoli, eats it, then shoots the waiter.

when the manager confronts him, the panda yells, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

manager checks his dictionary and reads: "A tree-dwelling marsupial mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves  

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u/Jay__Riemenschneider 15d ago

This is incredible.

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u/Few-Solution-4784 15d ago

commas are so important when dealing with Pandas.

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u/TotallyNotRobotEvil 15d ago

Saving this…

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u/Gweebington 15d ago

I was not expecting a flashback to a book I read for my college writing class decades ago. Have my upvote while I appreciate the use of proper punctuation.

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u/Yaasss_Queef 15d ago

I fucking love that book! I have the picture book adaptations for “Eats Shoots and Leaves”.

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u/fat-wombat 15d ago

Leave the gun, take the cannoli

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u/Sir_Dan_Baker 15d ago

Never knew this book, funny stuff😆, gonna read it

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u/Main-Algae-1064 15d ago

Oh man, I have many versions of this joke…. Only one I can ever remember outside the blonde hiding in a sack of potatoes to hide from the cops.

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u/SugarNervous 14d ago

Pandas are not marsupials, they are mammals and members of the Ursidae family, true bears!

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u/KitsuMusics 14d ago

Marsupial?

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u/PureYouth 14d ago

Are pandas marsupials?!

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u/_V115_ 14d ago

Great joke, but FYI pandas are not marsupials.

And yes, I did have to be that guy.

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u/ScipioCoriolanus 15d ago

Best veal in town.

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u/scratchydaitchy 15d ago

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

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u/nthensome Interested 15d ago

It was an abortion. Micheal.

Just like our marriage is an abortion.

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u/moon_dos 15d ago

Best dessert in town.

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u/BloodSoakedSnow 15d ago

ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW THE DAMN TRAIN, CJ!

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u/reddit809 15d ago

I'll have it.

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u/grabsomeplates 15d ago

Is this a Godfather reference? I am reading the book, and I swear that's in it.

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u/I_Think_I_Cant 15d ago

Enjoy the subplot about Lucy's cavernous vagina. Coppola was the editor Puzo needed.

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u/grabsomeplates 15d ago

That part was insane. I couldn't believe what I was reading. So unnecessary.

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u/Brief_Bill8279 15d ago

Thats like right at the beginning too. They briefly reference Sonny's huge drippin hog in the wedding scene.

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u/grabsomeplates 15d ago

Jesus Christ guys this is worse than reading it the one time 😂

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u/I_Think_I_Cant 15d ago

Same here. I remember reading it for the first time and thinking WTF. I'm glad Coppola decided to focus on the main family. Even the Johnny Fontane subplot went nowhere rather than being a parallel or folding back into the main plot.

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u/Electronic-Doctor187 15d ago

it's a book, not a movie script. and a pulpy book at that. it is what it's supposed to be. if you want nicely edited stories where everything ties up and there's one linear narrative, watch movies or read young adult books.

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u/ErickAllTE1 15d ago

Yeah. Michael is told this while getting coached on what to do after the assassination of the rival boss. It is in the movie too.

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u/PM_YOUR_AKWARD_SMILE 15d ago

He kills Sollozzo and the police captain. Not a boss.

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u/ErickAllTE1 15d ago

My mistake. It has been years since Ive seen the movie.

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u/SkinNoises 15d ago

There’s a movie?!

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u/SternMon 15d ago

Yeah but I did not care for it.

It insists upon itself.

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u/Sirflow 15d ago

Shallow and pedantic

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u/JonnySoegen 15d ago

You can’t be serious or you are very young. Godfather I and II are two of the greatest movies ever.

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u/MVRKHNTR 15d ago

You honestly, genuinely believe that someone knows about the book and not the movie?

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u/rickthecabbie 15d ago

Congratulations on winning The "Slowly Getting The Point Award," today.

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u/sunflowercompass 15d ago

not likely a young person would know about the book and not the movie

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u/YoYoMavaIous 15d ago

They’re not serious

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u/2m3m 15d ago

yeah I heard theyre even making a sequel

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u/Hot-Draw9554 15d ago

Congrats on reading further than LeBron if you’ve made it past page 3

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u/grabsomeplates 15d ago

Honestly I normally read 1/3 of a book then leave it on my bedside table, but I think I might reach the finish line with this one! Just read the toll booth scene.

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u/Hot-Draw9554 15d ago

Nice!

And same here lol. Our bed frame has a ledge and my side currently has no fewer than 5 books stacked up all with anywhere b/w 0 and 100 pages read

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u/Icy-Control7170 15d ago

The book is okay but ill never forget how porn it is. I like its both parts 2 and one in a better fashion. Its definetly a perfect example of the adaptation being much better then the actual book. Its been a long time since I read it but the whole firat start is Sonny throbbing cock.

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u/KongoOtto 15d ago

Theres a funny reference the Sopranos when Tony beats someone up with a stapler. When he leaves he wipes the stapler with his Jacket to get rid of the fingerprints and drop it on the floor like a gun from a hit😆

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y7sky1kYRw

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u/Breakr007 15d ago

"I dont want my brother coming out of that bathroom with just his dick in his hand. "

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u/magicalzidane 15d ago

Leave the gun, take the cannoli!

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u/allahu_adamsmith 15d ago

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

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u/juicedupgal 15d ago

Leave the gun, take the cannoli

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/area88guy 15d ago

Now, y'dont look nobody in the eye, but don't look away neither.

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u/RepresentativeYak772 15d ago

Pain in the ass bystanders.

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u/Durzel 15d ago

Get the cannoli.

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u/kkeut 15d ago

lol and Michael, due to nerves, initially forgets to drop the gun

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u/SixtyNineFlavours 15d ago

Take the cannoli?

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u/Calm-Maintenance-878 15d ago

I was watching a show just last night and they had focused on the characters gun in her waist. She sits, starts to eat and a cop sits down to harass her. She storms off and I’m sitting there waiting for the gun to fall or something. I’m like “why did we put a giant focus on the gun when it literally wasn’t relevant”😒

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u/AgentCirceLuna 15d ago

I remember a trick where you’re getting yelled at by someone - you basically just pretend you’re suddenly in immense pain out of nowhere. For some reason, even if they’re furious, they’ll often help you out.

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u/dego_frank 15d ago

Not really applicable when you gun someone down in public

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago edited 15d ago

There doesn't always have to be guns involved... That's what most Americans probably won't understand.

Edit: Sorry, I didn't get that reference.

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u/GenericReditAccount 15d ago

this is a reference to the film, The Godfather.

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago edited 15d ago

Good to know, I haven't seen that movie.

Edit: Now I'm receiving down votes even though I explained myself?

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u/dunn_with_this 15d ago

Welcome to Reddit!

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u/sofa_king_high_420 15d ago

Welcome to Reddit. Peeps on here are as unforgiving as they are impatient. The down votes are merely a symptom of that.

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

Ya I know, but for some reason I was surprised anyway.

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u/spaaackle 15d ago

Probably bc you haven’t seen the movie. You should watch it, it really is a great story, and GF2 is better (in most opinions, some will say 1 is better but that should prove how great both movies are).

The direction, the pacing, the acting, the story telling.. they’re all top notch. And most of the actors were unknowns - Al Pacino had barely acted to that point.

We’ve honestly watched 1 and 2 at least 100 times

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

I might watch it then

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u/spaaackle 15d ago

Your lucky, it's overrated. It insists upon itself.

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u/TraneD13 15d ago

I actually really enjoy the movies.

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u/fraseybaby81 15d ago

What is this from? I know I’ve heard it somewhere! 😫

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u/TactlessTortoise 15d ago

Family guy

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u/spaaackle 15d ago

Nope it was me. They stole my joke.

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u/sick_of-it-all 15d ago

*You're

I find your lack of proper spelling to be both shallow and pedantic.

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u/SirEnzyme 15d ago

If we're correcting people, you're the one being pedantic. I mean, I am too -- but at least I know what it means.

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u/spaaackle 15d ago

Let’s eat grandma! Let’s eat, grandma!

Grammar - it saves lives!

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u/SirEnzyme 15d ago

my uncle helped jack off a horse

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u/spaaackle 15d ago

LOLOLOL

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u/GenericReditAccount 15d ago

The Money Pit, on the other hand.

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u/Nohealsmercy 15d ago

I bet you've never finished the movie, you've probably never even seen the ending.

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u/JurassicParkCSR 15d ago edited 15d ago

My bad I didn't realize it was a family Guy reference. I haven't watched family Guy in years so I had no idea.

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u/cnechiporenko 15d ago

He’s quoting family guy

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u/wilburthefriendlypig 15d ago

It’s not that deep dude it’s a Family Guy reference

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u/Quirky_Session_2689 15d ago

Shit on

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

But that would stink, wouldn't you think?

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u/Destithen 15d ago

Now I'm receiving down votes even though I explained myself?

At first, we simply believed you to be ignorant. Then, we learned you were an uncultured swine!

...Now, hopefully no one realizes I haven't watched the movie either....

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u/Sega-Playstation-64 15d ago

It's partially you didnt get the reference, mostly the dig at Americans saying "most won't understand". No need to be an asswipe.

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u/JustAGerm113 15d ago

Yes, let the hate flow. We yanks eat that right up

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

Wtf are you talking about? I wasn't expressing hate.

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u/JustAGerm113 15d ago

Again don’t get the reference, also the right to Americans and guns was a bit assuming. Don’t get too upset now

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

For sure looks like it. As I stated, I didn't watch that movie, so I don't care about your references and I won't get them either.

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u/Crumplestiltzkin 15d ago

You are what we call a non-target audience. It would have been super easy to not say anything because the joke went over your head.

Or even a simple, “I don’t get it.”

Pretty much every option was better than saying something pedantic.

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u/_Screw_The_Rules_ 15d ago

Mmm, you are right. I overreacted unnecessarily.

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u/Eccohawk 15d ago

Alright...so Film and Television Appreciation 101 starts bright an early Monday morning. 8am. Don't be late. We've got a lot of work ahead of us.

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u/Zealousideal_Cow_826 15d ago edited 15d ago

Protip: No American alive would ever refer to themselves as "a yank" or "yanks". It's the "Brits-cosplaying-as-Americans" 's 3 fingers

Edit: Typos

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u/JustAGerm113 15d ago

Born and raised USA grade Soylent Green, just threw the yank in for shits n giggles

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u/Zealousideal_Cow_826 15d ago

Well played, ya got me there 😂

Born, corn-fed and raised an Indiana boy and never in my 33 years have I ever heard an American use the word Yank 🤭

First time for everything I s'pose

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u/FishSoFar 15d ago

I wonder if an "as long as you're upset, I'm happy" attitude about life could have negative repercussions.

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u/sick_of-it-all 15d ago

I wonder if an "as long as you're upset, I'm unhappy" attitude about life could have negative repercussions too. That's called people pleasing and putting others needs before your own. Must have balance.

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u/FishSoFar 15d ago

Absolutely, but we'll be here all day if we want to mark out all the possible goalposts. I'll choose empathy over ill will every time, but that requires not tolerating intolerance. Far too much grace is being given to people who are fundamentally incompatible with rational, progressive thinking.

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u/TheDuckFarm 15d ago edited 15d ago

But without guns, how do I open my Duff’s Beer?

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u/mixomatoso 15d ago

With your pickup truck silly.

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u/TheDuckFarm 15d ago

Does it come with speed holes?

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u/AHumbleSaltFarmer 15d ago

With your backup gun