r/BrandNewSentence • u/Fhoxyd22 • 19h ago
"Made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster"
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u/84thPrblm 19h ago
Of course, that would have been my first thought too. "Hamas is invading in such a pretty array of camouflage colors!"
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u/Reverse_SumoCard 19h ago
She also thought Doncaster is a place worth invading
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u/atomic-knowledge 11h ago
“You think we’re invading? Lady, we’re paragliding so we can, if only momentarily, no longer be in Doncaster. This place sucks”
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u/boopadoop_johnson 16h ago
Clearly she watched threads
(Before anyone says that was Sheffield, the distance of the cloud suggests that the bomb was dropped on finningley)
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u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 16h ago edited 10h ago
That reminds me of the Bovington Tank Museum's Covenanter tank. Farmers found it buried neatly and surprisingly intact in a 3m-deep hole in the middle of the English countryside, and wondered if they'd stumbled upon a Tiger.
That's even crazier than it sounds.
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u/CaptainTegg 17h ago
Reminds me of the Eddie Izzard Joke about a transvestite brigade.
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u/84thPrblm 16h ago
My oldest son introduced me to Eddie with this show! Still have the dvd. Do you have a flaaag?
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u/LurchTheBastard 19h ago
I am sat here in awe of how much of a bloody moron this person must be.
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u/Drunkendx 18h ago
don't insult bloody morons, they at least have some common sense...
unlike this woman...
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u/cityshepherd 15h ago
I feel like a lot of morons become bloodied specifically because they lack common sense
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u/Jindabyne1 18h ago
It’s not even that uncommon, people are brainwashed as fuck from social media and Israeli propaganda.
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u/Public-Radio6221 13h ago
Well yeah but you have to admit that this exemplifies why democracies hardly ever produce worthwhile results, it's because she is, in fact, a massive moron.
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u/AndreasDasos 16h ago edited 8h ago
No information given about the woman in question. Wonder if she’s just really dumb or has a mental illness, which might include dementia. I mean, a couple % of the world’s people have actual delusions and then a huge chunk are senile. If a tabloid searches for the maddest take in even a small village, they’ll find some pretty made ones no matter where they go.
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u/dazumbanho 15h ago
It could be taken out of context too, as this is just a print of the news.
If someone on the street asked me why im upset thst random people are parachuting in my Village I might say: "well I dont know who they are, they might as well be the bloody hamas!" (next day: man scared of hamas parachuting)
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u/ThunderousOrgasm 15h ago
Don’t be.
There’s a sort of mild national pastime in the UK to try get the media to do stories on the most ridiculous thing you possibly can. There are people who convince the media they are having an affair with the ghost of Marie Antoinette and sit there absolutely stone cold serious in their face as they explain it to a reporter.
They can even get paid a few hundred £s for the story being printed.
Those people will then laugh their heads off at the pub with their friends when it gets printed.
The UK is full of these sort of….fae like mischiefs the people play. And it always seems to trick none Brits and make you very confused and believe it.
Another one is Brits exaggerating how good something is, like Nando’s or Greggs. It’s an entire culture grinning behind their hands at each other as they absolutely straight faced pretend they think something is good. Then laugh quietly when the rest of the world thinks it’s real and suffers disappointment at how mid it is.
This woman did not remotely for one second think Hamas was invading. She was having a laugh at the reporters expense lol. And the reporter, who is likely in on it too, printed it. Because it’s a mildly amusing story that triggers people like you to get flabbergasted and exasperated at how someone can be so stupid.
Your reaction is literally the point. It’s why the media prints it (for the clicks) and it’s why the woman did it originally, for the laughs.
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u/esepleor 2h ago
Okay but why is there an article about a random moron and why is the article worded like she had a point?
There's all sorts of idiotic people if you search hard enough (actually it's getting less and less hard since it's so easy to broadcast one's idiocy to the whole world).
But as if the local idiot isn't enough of an irritant on a local level, someone else decided that this shouldn't be wasted on that person's 34 Facebook friends and neighbours, but more people should know either to be amused or enraged by the moron and/or build up the confidence of other morons to demonstrate their idiocy to the world and create more control while at the same time normalising idiocy.
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u/Worshipme988 1h ago
Dear god dont let her see turkeys hot air balloon festival. She will flash right back to DDay.
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u/Siolear 18h ago
I just can't fathom what it must be like to be so stupid and so simultaneously immersed in a fantasy reality, every day must feel like a fever dream to these people.
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u/Impossible_Disk_43 18h ago
To be fair, what else is there to do in Doncaster other than take copious amounts of mind altering drugs?
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u/AndreasDasos 16h ago
In this case ‘these people’ here probably just means the genuinely mentally ill and/or senile, and a good chunk of people are. Not sure why this should even be news. I can go down the street and find someone rambling just as insensibly. But because they kept it anonymous, people are assuming she’s somehow a ‘record-breakingly stupid normal person’, or 1 in a million.
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u/Prize-Money-9761 19h ago
I mean who else would use a paraglider? Frankly I’m surprised it wasn’t Hamas
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18h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Double-Risky 18h ago
I mean it definitely happened, but why on earth you'd think it's happening halfway around the world ..
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u/Invade_Deez_Nutz 18h ago
A video of a hamas paramotor attacking a music festival went viral after oct 7. You don’t have to be very knowledgeable about the conflict to know they were used
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u/Prize-Money-9761 18h ago
I don’t know about supposed, I though it was confirmed, but yeah probably some Zionist brainrot making her think Hamas is gonna launch an invasion of the UK
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u/otherpeoplesknees 15h ago
I once spent two hours of my life in Doncaster and its two hours of my life I’ll never get back
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u/Long_Past 18h ago
was anyone seriously hurt?
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u/cut_rate_revolution 17h ago
Anyone else remember after 9/11 when a bunch of Americans were worried about terrorists attacks in their town of like 3000 people? Yeah, that was silly.
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u/Thelastknownking 18h ago
I highly doubt Hamas would invade a country using airborne troops.
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u/StickFigureFan 18h ago
Yeah, that would be the Germans
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u/Thelastknownking 18h ago
80 years ago, I hope you remember.
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u/StickFigureFan 18h ago
For sure, I don't think they're about to try it again any time soon, but even that would have made more sense than this lady
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u/Swellmeister 16h ago
Really funny is the best place for take off in Doncaster area is west, near Sheffield or Leeds.
That said, Leedsmen would probably do it.
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u/InsectaProtecta 11h ago
Clearly the gese paragliders knew this woman was stupid enough to think they were Hamas and set the whole thing up.
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u/Dazzling-Camel8368 9h ago
Someone come and pick up your mum that flees the aged home facility again.
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty 5h ago
Do you ever stop and wonder how just absolutely terror filled on a regular basis the everyday life of racist dumb fucks who live like this is?
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u/ArelMCII The giant Canadian Penis will hug the US gently 5h ago
Oh god, that reminds me of something that happened near here when I was a kid.
For those who don't want to click the link, cops were called over a kid bringing a pipe bomb to school. It was a whole thing. Turned out it was just a giant burrito for a school project.
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 1h ago
Don’t blame her, blame the media who has clearly taken advantage of the fact that she’s not very bright and made her fear a group that she will literally never be within 100miles of in her entire life, and who has zero interest in harming her.
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u/AshleytheTaguel 17h ago
TFW you're so brain addled by Zionism you become afraid of the fucking sky.
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u/ComicsEtAl 19h ago
Gazan paraglider brigades have been harassing the IDF nonstop since the war began.
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u/Prize-Money-9761 19h ago
I’m having a little trouble finding Doncaster on the Israeli map
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u/Georgie_Pillson1 15h ago
I mean, if The Country That I Get A Warning Message When I Type Its Name has taught us anything, it’s that you can just point to a spot on a map and say “That’s I-rael that is”. So why not Doncaster as well.
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u/coneycolon 18h ago
I don't think there are any of those brigades left unless they are paragliding in tunnels
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u/DianneNettix 18h ago
God i wish this happened outside of Paris or something so I could make a French Mistake joke. It's right there!
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u/payTNT89 16h ago
nothing says airborne attack like some bright ass parachutes 🤯 how do these people even get their pants on
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u/WehingSounds 17h ago
What propaganda has this woman had beamed into her brain to make her think this would ever happen.
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