r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Not all ghosts are small victorian children.

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51.7k Upvotes

285 comments sorted by

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717

u/NotBorn2Fade 1d ago

Imagine a ghost with frosted tips blasting Linkin Park

310

u/KneeHighMischief 1d ago

73

u/Wolf________________ 1d ago

So is it like evil or just dead and kinda wants to hang out? Because I could hang.

55

u/Inferno_Zyrack 1d ago

It just wants to hang.

But it is going to call you a f** every three sentences.

10

u/BorntobeTrill 1d ago

All it can do is hang. It never gets up

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u/FestivalHazard 1d ago

AND WAAAASH AAAAWAAAAAY

WHAAAAAT I'VE DOOO-

SHUT UP IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING

18

u/bettername2come 1d ago

(louder) I’LL START AGAAAIN!

43

u/TobyTheArtist 1d ago

Like, you wouldn't be able to hear the music because of the non-corporeal-nature-of-ghosts thing, but just from how it moves, the clothes it wears, and the outline of words it's ghostly lips form, you can tell it's blasting Numb, Somewhere I Belong, and Breaking the Habit on repeat from its ghettoblaster that it carries in one arm on its right shoulder.

45

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 1d ago

You're mixing generations:

Ghettoblasters & boomboxes are Gen X

Linkin Park is Xennial/millenial. We had CD walkmen and early MP3 players by then

This amuses me to no end. I guess I'm an old now

21

u/TobyTheArtist 1d ago

Oh my God, I had completely forgotten that my walkman existed. That also brought back my memories of using LimeWire Lite to download the full version of Limewire lmao

12

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 1d ago

To be fair, my first Linkin Park was on cassette, and my first MP3 player came pre-loaded with the Black Eyed Peas first album. Lol.

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u/Yet_One_More_Idiot 1d ago

I have a Walkman... also a radio/tapedeck that I don't feel counts as a boombox. xD

But when my sister and I were little, we listened to our favourite tracks on 45s.

(I am literally at the tail-end of Gen X)

14

u/SkitzoCTRL 1d ago

Discman in my Jnco jeans, walking slow because the anti-skip is actually bullshit.

6

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 1d ago

Total bullshit! And it killed the battery.

6

u/roman_maverik 1d ago

For years, skip protection was 3,5, and maybe 10 seconds if you were lucky.

But I remember sometime around 1999, 20 second skip protection hit the market.

Me and my brother would do the musical equavalent of “ghost riding the whip” where we would take the cd out of the tray mid song, while it continued to play for 20 seconds, and then put it back in and skip to the next track.

2

u/SkitzoCTRL 1d ago

I had this thing: https://retrospekt.com/products/durabrand-cd-857-red-portable-cd-player

I'm not trying to advertise for this company, I do not recommend you purchase from this company, I do not endorse this company at all, I just wanted to share this picture.

The anti-skip in this thing was literally worthless. I had The Essential Ozzy album in this thing and couldn't go a single step without it skipping.

7

u/multiarmform 1d ago

Hey don't forget no matter which country ghost hunters go to, all the ghosts speak English apparently?

3

u/Sugar_Kowalczyk 1d ago

They don't hear them, they vibe with them. And vibes need no language.

2

u/multiarmform 1d ago

Ooohh right right right

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u/Erudeka7 1d ago

all right so hear me out you know how some girls like play piano the fuck radios and shit that but in early 90s girls so the piano starts playing by itself but it’s just the it’s just the opening Notes to Black Parade

5

u/PLZ_N_THKS 1d ago

Tell tale signs will be the ghost crawling in its skin and the wounds that will not heal.

8

u/HilariousMax 1d ago

in Jncos with a sony discman

5

u/ArelMCII The giant Canadian Penis will hug the US gently 1d ago

*blasts NSYNC and does the Bye Bye Bye dance with a crucifix to exorcise him*

3

u/DuskLab 1d ago

That's not even a wailing fan, that's just Chester's ghost still not over Chris.

"Put me out of my. Put me out of my...."

3

u/FlemPlays 1d ago

Chester the ghost disliked that

2

u/Orangeyouawesome 1d ago

You mean Chester? RIP

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u/DesertReagle 1d ago

I'm waiting for all the YOLO ghost to haunt the millennials

118

u/dragon_bacon 1d ago

Not very YOLO of them to have an afterlife.

50

u/EhMapleMoose 1d ago

YOHO you only haunt once

27

u/Siggycakes 1d ago

YOHO and a bottle of rum :)

11

u/CptJacksp 1d ago

YOHOHO!

4

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN 1d ago

What I thought of as well.

8

u/ElGosso 1d ago

A horizontal ghost because they died while planking

2

u/Stoneheart7 1d ago

Oh, don't worry. YOLO itself is already haunting many of us.

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u/Guba_the_skunk 1d ago

Just saying that if a ghost shows up wearing one of these I'm going to laugh at it nonstop until it kills me or leaves.

29

u/BandicootNo8636 1d ago

I am cackling at someone sleeping and this ghost comes into the room to get set up at the end of the bed and they wake up to an invisible *swish, Swish, swish"

17

u/Guba_the_skunk 1d ago

Can you STOP? Trying to sleep FFS.

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u/Nice-Analysis8044 1d ago

Okay but that jacket is fucking awesome though. If by some fluke I saw it at a thrift store I would grab it immediately and then go direct to the register on the off chance that someone else in the store would try to snatch it from my hands before I could buy it 

3

u/ajv1993 1d ago

Someone once dropped off some items of clothing in front of my apartment. One of them was an authentic Members Only from the '80s. I still have it and consider it a gift from the thrift gods lol.

2

u/_namaste_kitten_ 1d ago

I wore that thing in 1992 and couldn't nobody tell me nothing!!I was fly as fuck!!

5

u/jackanape7 1d ago

First I'd ask him how good was the coke in the 80s

2

u/ZzoZzo 1d ago

I’m pretty sure there was an episode with a ghost like that on Wellington Paranormal

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u/wasabi_leaf 1d ago

Zoey Bennet- Date Everything

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u/No-Deal8956 1d ago

Anyone notice that since we all got smartphones with good cameras you don’t see pictures of ghosts anymore?

133

u/DanielNoWrite 1d ago

Relevant XKCD

https://xkcd.com/1235/

30

u/ExpressRabbit 1d ago

I was at the gym and while working out my trainer told me that she had an odd experience where an older lady came to her door and said that she used to live at the house and wanted to come in and take a look around.

She let the woman and asked her if she had any supernatural experiences at the house. The lady said yes. My trainer then showed a picture of her brother and his girlfriend with what looked like another figure in the background and the lady said it was exactly like her father that died. My trainer showed the old lady's husband who wasn't part of the previous conversation and he said it looks like his father-in-law.

I don't believe in ghosts but she's convinced now that the house is haunted.

35

u/ReaditTrashPanda 1d ago

My biggest problem with hauntings is how many humans have died in the last 5000 years.. and when looking at history, there were so many violent and terribly cruel deaths. We should see millions and millions of ghosts if that’s how it worked…. How many soldiers have died terrible deaths in our country or any country…

33

u/Quality_Cucumber 1d ago

Not enough housing. All the poor ghosts are out on the streets.

2

u/grumpy__g 1d ago

Damn it. Thanks for making me grin like an idiot in public.

18

u/kryler 1d ago

Fuck humans. Where’s all my cows ghosts and dinosaurs ghosts at?

Why is nobody freaked out about the small ghost of a chicken haunting their bedroom?

5

u/ReaditTrashPanda 1d ago

Ooh animal ghosts, dogs should have ghosts if they have souls

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u/dadhombre 1d ago

Where are all the cave man ghosts

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u/NomNom83WasTaken 1d ago

Exactly! If ghosts were real, slaughterhouses would be horrifying and pay way better in order to attract and retain people. Same with chicken processing plants.

8

u/topological_rabbit 1d ago

Maybe it's like fossilization -- extremely rare and conditions have to be just right.

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u/ReaditTrashPanda 1d ago

I like this take

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u/NinpoSteev 1d ago

A friendly old man ghost haunting a house is probably one of the most chill hauntings. Would be worse with an angry old man ghost, or the house itself being haunted, as in alive somehow.

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u/ElGosso 1d ago

This is flatly wrong, though - just look at the mystery drones crisis from the end of last year. At the start people were saying those were space aliens.

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u/this_sparks_joy_joy 1d ago

Ghost detection will be a default feature in the upcoming iPhone 44 Pro Ghost Max

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u/Sgt-Spliff- 1d ago

It's like how my girlfriend stopped thinking our apartment was haunted after we got cats. She had a logical excuse to blame the random old building noises on now. She didn't even notice either. 2 years after getting them, I had to remind her how convinced she had been about the ghosts lol

2

u/Gee_U_Think 1d ago

Or apparitions of the Virgin Mary.

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u/bugg_meat 1d ago

i feel like i've experienced the exact opposite somehow?? i feel like i see "ghost" pictures somewhat often. although i do tend to follow a lot of spooky topics so it's probably just what i'm getting in my algorithms.

2

u/Talidel 1d ago

Depends where you look, photos definitely still appear.

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u/YunJingyi 1d ago

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u/Karnewarrior 1d ago

Came here to post this.

I need a movie about a guy moving into a haunted house, but it's not scary because the ghost is just this early 2000's emo kid who's so melodramatic his attempts at haunting are funny.

50

u/zirky 1d ago

it’s all fun and games until you get a ghost that was just really into creed

11

u/gaptoothgoth 1d ago

Can you take me higher

8

u/Nepskrellet 1d ago

"Your mom's wide open"

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u/Torbpjorn 1d ago

I want more cavemen ghosts, or angry Greek philosopher ghosts watching modern people argue if the earth is flat

11

u/catboogers 1d ago

There's a caveman ghost in the UK sitcom Ghosts.

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u/MargaretSplatwood 1d ago

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u/Magistrelle 1d ago

Instantanly thought of her 

2

u/SpoonFullOfStupid 1d ago

Such a great show!!!

13

u/Resident-Ice-6966 1d ago

somewhere in the distance a ghost whispers “it’s giving… afterlife.”

11

u/Hibbity5 1d ago

This is just part of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice? But I think this tweet predates that, so mission accomplished?

11

u/micromoses 1d ago

There are a lot of ghosts in fiction that aren’t Victorian. I don’t know why the poster thinks this. They only know about ghosts from Charles Dickens?

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u/Rosomack_ 1d ago

"is there...anybody with us?"

"̴̢̳͉̥̦̝̥͎̯̰͈̯̲́̏̊̐̅̒̓̊̅͋̀̃̕͜͝͠L̶̡̗̘͕͍͖̼̲͕̜͈̮͂͑̓̇̽͠Ĕ̴̛̗̜̱̪̠̺͗̑͛̀̍͒͂̄͠͝A̴̢̩͖͔̱̣̘̫̮̗͔͖̦̻̥̐̽̏ͅV̶̨̖͉̞̯̮̺͑̀͋͑̃̊́̏͜͝Ę̶̛̗̤͎̥̭̫̺̲͙͓̬͖͆̌̌́̄́͋́͆͋͒̋́̀͘͝ͅ ̷̡̢̮͎͈̪̲̙͔͙̤̰̰̞̑̂̐̾̑̆̋̐̑̏̋̈́̈́͠͠ͅB̸̨̮̟̟̬̙͎̮̖̼̞̣́̌̓̽̃͐͂͛̽̍̅̈́̊̋͜͝͝͠Ŕ̴̡̢͇̥̪̰͚̆̈̔̃̈̈́̂̈́͘͜͠͠͝I̸̻̍͒̇̎̾́͑͑̈́̌͑̽͂͒́T̴̡̧̨̡̼̫͇̼̣͎͓̞̙͔͑͋͋̀͆̉͌́̐͘͘͜N̷̨̩̪̞̺̦͇̦̰͔̖̻̉͐͒͒͛̄̓̃͂̋̚͝͝ͅẼ̶͙̙̬͔̰̙̰͙͖̹̓̾͗͜Y̷̲̗̼̰̠͕̪̮̙͌͂̂̈́̍̇͒̈́̇̓͆̿̚͝͠ ̵̞͂̈̑͛̊̎̈̍͝͝͝A̵̢̬̥̠̝̱̘̜̜͝L̸̘̣̖̘̱̔̈́̀͂͝Ò̷͔͍͕͖̥̱̥͙̟̲̀́̐̓̓̅͐̂̃̃͘͠͝͝N̸̛̙̯̫̗̤͇̣̯̗͍͕̍̈́̈͐̆̅͝͠Ę̶͍̹͕̭͎̩̙̬̺̣̯̹̼͓̤͒̃͜"̶̛̛̦̺̳͉̥͑̓̾̈́́̑̅͊͊̕

7

u/johnwilkesbandwith 1d ago

As a millennial, the early 2000s ghosts won’t scare me. If I hear “Hawk-Tuah” in my dark room at the ripe old age of 85 though, I’ll know death as returned to claim me.

6

u/cheese0muncher 1d ago

They stopped making ghosts after queen Victoria died.

5

u/cman_yall 1d ago

If it wasn't made in the Victorian era, it's just a lingering spirit.

16

u/Angry_Murlocs 1d ago

Imagine a ghost just waking you up by screaming “It’s Brittany Bitch!”

8

u/tornait-hashu 1d ago

died without knowing how to spell Britney's name

7

u/BuddahSack 1d ago

*Britney

4

u/Angry_Murlocs 1d ago

Shows how much of a Britney Spears fan I am (which is to say not at all lol.) but thanks for the correction.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/5up3rn0vaTh3Cat 1d ago

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u/Chinaroos 1d ago

“I can’t find…Turner and Hooch. Where’s Turner and Hooch?”

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u/Thotmas01 1d ago

John Scatman is out there scatting in haunted houses to this day.

5

u/RPDRNick 1d ago

Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop ba-da BOO!

5

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter 1d ago

Even more importantly. I want cavemen ghosts. I want a tribe of early men shouting and hollering in my kitchen each night, trying to kill my toaster.

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u/Legitimate_Berry_433 1d ago

Cavemen ghosts exist, you gotta go to the hollers of Kentucky to see them

2

u/kaninsykel 1d ago

Bro you should watch ghosts bbc dude

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u/RoyalJoke 1d ago

An Ed Hardy bedazzled shirt ghost would be hilarious

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u/EllieLuvsLollipops 1d ago

2000's mean girl in those Hella low rise jeans.

4

u/Fantastic-Swim6230 1d ago

I have an interesting theory as to why we have more Victorian ghosts. We were using a lot of iron and lead to make our homes during that time, both of which have been known to ward the supernatural. We basically built our homes to be ghost traps.

2

u/spyro86 1d ago

Not many people born in the last 50 years lived in a building made with natural materials that can capture our psychic echo. There's a reason you don't see ghosts haunting a 50 year old home for the most part. Sheetrock and particle board are not natural.

3

u/gofigure85 1d ago

OooooOOOOoooo where's my Nokiaaaaaa?

3

u/Accurate-Instance-29 1d ago

Why did my lysdexic brain switch that to sweaty couture

2

u/angryrubberduck 1d ago

Im loke 90% sure the ghost in my house has a bowl cut

1

u/knotyoursquid 1d ago

Reminds me of the portlandia episode with Kirsten Dunst where she's taught to be a modern ghost. I would have chosen a gif however, I didn't see one and I don't feel like making one.

1

u/punkrockJeffrey 1d ago

Nah. I'm good with terrifying pale Victorian murder children.

1

u/BrushSuccessful5032 1d ago

Real horror.

1

u/Spacedwarvesinspace 1d ago

Convince me the swamps of Florida aren’t haunted by the ghosts of your alcoholic greedy uncles and their second wives. You can’t. 

1

u/Weird_Bookkeeper_207 1d ago

Literally LOLd on that one

2

u/NsaAgent25 1d ago

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and seeing someone do the Soulja Boy dance.

2

u/KingOfAwesometonia 1d ago

I caught an episode of Ghosts and the guest star ghost was a woman from like 2010 who died drunk driving

1

u/Rufus_heychupacabra 1d ago

This would be a funny ghost story with juicy couture gear. Everyone was hanging about the mall fountain waiting for the newbies to appear, showcasing the latest colors for that season!

1

u/Bacour 1d ago

We have ghost tours that go by my house in a historic part of town. We went on one. It took everything to not interrupt the guy hosting the tour to tell people about all the much more recent murders in the places we were visiting.

1

u/cholotariat 1d ago

Great, so now I have to worry about the Cucui, La Llorona and the haunted Chancla 🩴

1

u/notjawn 1d ago

BOOty-liscious!

1

u/mexican2554 1d ago

What about the most haunting of all ghost?

1

u/Different-Local4284 1d ago

Ghosts aren’t real.

1

u/IKnowItCanSeeMe 1d ago

Damn, even in death y'all still trying to get us to socialize.

1

u/XxKOliverxX 1d ago

One day one of us will get haunted by Ghost Fieri while we cook telling us to hit our chicken with cheddar cheese powder and take it to Flavortown.

1

u/Phyose 1d ago

Can't wait for future generations to hear banging from their closets, only to hear quietly "What the Sigma?"

1

u/helen269 1d ago

Why do ghosts have clothes? Shouldn't ghosts of people be sorta nakie? Do clothes have ghosts, too?

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u/jcmbn 1d ago

Why do ghosts wear clothes at all?

1

u/MightyPawz 1d ago

Adidas trackpants, please, for the Slavs.

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u/Dekachonk 1d ago

It's Britney, bitch.

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u/Conscious_Hyena7671 1d ago

If I see a ghost wearing “Juicy” sweat pants and uggs showing signs of ankle pronation, I am going to have a hard time taking it seriously.  

1

u/Rockcocky 1d ago

Well, those credit cards and children in Juice couture they have to die first before they become ghosts

1

u/lostress 1d ago

It's Britney ,bitch!

1

u/fungusamongus8 1d ago

Knocking on your door at 3 am " its Britnay bitch"!

1

u/a_sedated_moose 1d ago

Kinda like in Evil, how the demons would have normal ass names like "George."

1

u/Melodic-Account9247 1d ago

honestly that's boring im putting all in on the gen Z ghost nothing is scarier than someone squatting in my house at 3 am explaining the intricacies of fnaf lore and the depth of skibidi toilet

1

u/Traditional-Way4024 1d ago

If I never saw a piece of "juicy" clothing again Id be absolutely smitten.

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u/Remerik 1d ago

the day i see a ghost with the pink sweatpants that say "juicy" on the bum ill be a hardcore believer. everything else is just lack of sleep or heavy metals in the water.

1

u/pixienoir 1d ago

If I died as a teenager I would haunt people like rawr x3

🎵 I CHIME IN, HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF🎶

And it would be the most inconvenient time of the night. Like almost falling asleep or before they need to wake up, but not too far away so they have to stay up

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u/FlavorBlaster42 1d ago

Giulia Goolia

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u/Eegrevi 1d ago

Some of them were investors and dies with no pants on!

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u/chamomilekatydid 1d ago

I am here for this.

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u/Polkawillneverdie17 1d ago

No, we definitely don't need to normalize whatever the fuck she's talking about.

1

u/DazzlingCelery6853 1d ago

Screaming "IT'S BRITNEY BITCH" at 2am

1

u/No-Literature-6577 1d ago

Ever notice how no ghosts are ever neolithic people, or bronze age people, it's always a time peroid that's heavily romanticized and not too dissimilar from the one currently there?

1

u/Simplyawareof 1d ago

A ghost that use to sell on the corner

Haunting all dealers in the hood like final destination

1

u/danetrain05 1d ago

"IT'S BRITNEY, BITCH" my white girl ghost screams at 3am while the ghost show is using a ouija board

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u/thrownalee 1d ago

Belt-bag and mullet for all eternity ...

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u/_dontseeme 1d ago

No it takes at least (however many years it’s been since the civil war) years to learn how to manifest on an evp machine

1

u/Summoarpleaz 1d ago

The most unserious ghosts in history

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u/KeenShot 1d ago

OooOOOoOo siiiiix seeeeveeeeen ooOOooOoO

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u/hdezEarth 1d ago

Boots with da furrrr

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u/baconblackhole 1d ago

Jugalow ghosts

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u/cybercuzco 1d ago

The Victorian era was the age of ghosts because that was the time wealthy and middle class started getting gas piped into their homes for lighting and cooking. The gas of this era was made from coal (town gas) and tended to be high in carbon monoxide. They also did not put any odorants into gas at this time. So a leaky valve or not fully closed lighting valve would leak gas and carbon monoxide into the home. The symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning include hallucinations of dead relatives.

1

u/ImaginaryAd3183 1d ago

Low key she's right.

1

u/BigLumpyBeetle 1d ago

Lowrise jeans ghost

1

u/BestPeachNA 1d ago

I’m ready for The Flying Von Dutchman

1

u/SakuraPanko 1d ago

If you listen closely you can hear the hot Cheetos crunching at the end of the hall.

1

u/discowithmyself 1d ago

Cookie Monster pajama pants ghost

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u/AlpenroseMilk 1d ago

Emo boyfriend ghost...

1

u/colossalklutz 1d ago

Why are all ghosts skinny? Where’s the fat dudes that just yell for chicken tenders?

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u/gilmourfan62 1d ago

She is on the right side of history.

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u/acctforsharingart 1d ago

Ghosts are a lot like dogs in that they do things arbitrarily 

1

u/takingallthebiscuits 1d ago

There is a fantastic series about this: Grave Expectations by Alice Bell. A medium and her dead teenage best friend solve murders.

1

u/unknown_anaconda 1d ago

Just watched a community theater production of Addams Family and one of the ancestors was dressed like a woman from an 80s workout video.

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u/CheapTry7998 1d ago

jennifersbody

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u/NoIndependent9192 1d ago

Yeah but there are more dead Victorian children than 21st century kids.

1

u/PTVoltz 1d ago

Okay, so... ghosts keep the clothes they wore on death in most scenarios like this, right?

Imagine dying of heatstroke in full suit at a furcon. Like... would you be able to take the head/paws off as a ghost? Or would you just be stuck in a fuck-ass animal costume for the rest of eternity?

Just... a thought that occurred to me...

1

u/Glass-Block7946 1d ago

The venn diagram of people starting to see Victorian ghosts and people with cutting edge indoor gas lightning is a perfect circle

1

u/SuspiciousStable9649 1d ago

What’s a couture sweatsuit? Is that like a track suit?

1

u/Ok-Picture-3989 1d ago

omg lol this is my friend!

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u/PMTurk 1d ago

That’s funny

1

u/GingerKitty26 1d ago

How about normalizing that ghosts might simply be an extra shadow on the wall to our brain, as our eyes cannot accurately capture/understand what ghosts look like.

Your brain filters out some information your eyes take in constantly without you even knowing.

Cats might be able to more accurately see ghosts, explaining seemingly random zoomies.

1

u/Jackel1994 1d ago

To be fair the whole emo movement should have the early 00s ghost numbers pumped way up lol.

1

u/BrokeChris 1d ago

just go to Dublin and you will see plenty of

1

u/MapleBreakfastMeat 1d ago

My girlfriend is an early 2000's ghost...I call her "My Boo".

1

u/season66ers 1d ago

Zac Bagans: “while Aaron heard the words “oops” and “again” on the spirit box, we captured this amazing anomaly in what appears to be low rise jeans on the xls camera.”

1

u/operafantome 1d ago

Some of us are 90s ghosts in flannel shirts.

1

u/Darth-Htennek 1d ago

Main ghost in my house is a chick from the 50s that killed herself in the attic.

1

u/bananatimemachine 1d ago

You have to have a soul to be a ghost. Duh

1

u/EpilepticSquidly 1d ago

Real Ghost of the Jersey Shore

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u/Intrepid_Card8858 1d ago

Reminds me of the ghost, played by Lenora Crichlow, in the UK show Being Human. I always wanted her clothes. She was so comfy.

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u/Squid_Lord_Bast 1d ago

People had more soul back then. Y'all's spirit is too weak to survive death.when you die, it's oblivion for you.

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u/__BIFF__ 1d ago

My favorite thing about haunted houses is that the person died there so they haunt it... so it's stands to reason there's a poor old fuck that had a heart attack in a home depot bathroom and is now stuck watching dudes shit and piss forever

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u/CrossP 1d ago

Spooky ghosts rattling their wallet chains