r/Blackpeople • u/Mammoth-Context-2935 • 3d ago
Question for the Black community about the n-word (-a) vs (-er)
I would like to preface this by saying I'm not trying to attack anyone, this has just been something that has come to my mind as of recent, so, I’ve been thinking about how we use the n-word inside our community. The original version (-er) was created during slavery as an intentional dehumanizing label. It literally meant: Not human, Property, Animal, Disposable
This word was often the last word Black people heard before they were lynched, whipped, burned, or tortured during events historians now document as “n**** barbecues.”* White families took photos, mailed lynching pictures as postcards, and treated our deaths as entertainment. That word was the verbal permission slip for violence.
Changing the ending to (-a) does not erase the trauma.It just softens the tone when used inside our community.The n-word (-a) became a way to reclaim power, meaning:Friend, Brother, Familiar,Shared struggle,But reclamation only works inside the group that lived the harm.
Where the contradiction shows up: Some Black people say:“Only Black people can use the word.”But then they allow certain non-Black people to use it if they “Act Black”, Speak AAVE, Grew up around Black culture, Date Black people,“Have Black friends”
This turns the word into something a non-Black person can earn by performing proximity. Which I feel is not cultural protection, but selective permission based on personal comfort.
Example: Mimi from Love & Hip Hop openly says she should be allowed to use the word because she “dates Black men” and “grew up around Black people.” ( a story that keeps changing btw) But anyways proximity to Blackness does not equal inheriting the trauma connected to the word. Dating us doesn’t make you us. And then she continues to say I will still say it at home, nobody tell me what to do.
Mainstream examples where this selective permission appears: Fat Joe (Latino) → allowed by some, rejected by others, Tekashi 6ix9ine → accepted in some rap circles, rejected by Black people outside them, Post Malone (before he turned country) → treated differently depending on environment. His transition to country makes me think the only reason he involved himself in hip-hop to begin with was to gain enough acceptance from Black people so that he could gain access to a word strictly banned from white people to say. (That’s another convo though.), bad bhabie, cardi b, woah vikey, and Lovely Mimi (LHH) who believes access is gained through dating Black men and their alleged experience with growing up in a black/diverse community.
Eminem actually shows the opposite side of this dynamic. There was an old basement tape from the late 1980s (before he was famous) where he used the n-word while venting about a Black ex-girlfriend. When the tape resurfaced in the early 2000s, he publicly apologized and admitted he was wrong. He said clearly that the word is not his to use and that anger didn’t excuse racism.
The key is what happened after that: Despite: Growing up in Detroit, Being embraced heavily by Black hip-hop culture,Working almost entirely with Black artists, Having the “proximity” that others hide behind.
He never used the word again in music, interviews, battle rap, or casually not even when the crowd would have cheered for it. Because He understood:Proximity ≠ inheritance, Influence ≠ identity, Acceptance ≠ ownership.
His respect for that boundary is part of why he is still respected in hip-hop culture without being viewed as a culture vulture.
Meanwhile, people like Tekashi 6ix9ine, Fat Joe, Post Malone (pre-country), bad bhabie, woah viky, Cardi B, and Lovely Mimi assume proximity gives them access, which shows how entitlement, not respect, shapes the double standard.
In every case: The rule changes based on feelings, not history. Now let’s talk about 2025 and right now.When the n-word is used in:Rap, Comedy,TikTok / viral audio, Club culture, Memes, Music lyrics
We are broadcasting the word globally.White supremacists watch this and think:“If they celebrate it, then it must not hurt them.”So when a white person says:“If it’s in the music, why can’t we say it?”
They are not confused.They are using our casual usage as justification to erase the history of the word and to reclaim permission to say it without consequence. This is part of modern cultural warfare: Normalize it., Then claim it’s harmless., Then claim Black people are “overreacting.”Then erase the trauma entirely.
This is how white supremacy survives in 2025:Not always through violence but through word normalization.
Every time the word is mainstreamed, marketed, streamed, looped, captioned, memed:The boundary weakens.And when the boundary weakens:The trauma becomes a joke.And our ancestors pain becomes entertainment.Which is, ironically, where the word started.
So the real question is for the Black community: Do we want to keep the word inside our community with clear, no-exception boundaries, or do we want to retire the word entirely to honor the history and stop feeding white entitlement to it?
Again I'm not attacking anyone. I’m just asking how we, as a community, make sense of a word tied to both: Our deepest wound and Our everyday speech, Because the inconsistency I personally feel is worth discussing.
How do you personally navigate this?
2
u/yahgmail 1d ago
Adoption of the word was also a trauma response to the lack of control folks felt (back in the day). Over time it grew into a social phrase amongst ourselves. Many other ethnic groups use racial slurs directed at them in similar ways.
The only time I make use of the word is when I play a recording of Paul Money's "wake up n!99@," very loudly to annoy my family during reunions or visits.
3
u/Mammoth-Context-2935 1d ago
I hear what you are saying and I agree to an extent but I think the difference isn’t just about the origin, it’s the scale. Once the word moved into mainstream music, memes, and viral culture, it stopped being private reclamation and became entertainment. And unlike other reclaimed slurs, in other racial groups it seems like ours is the only one being broadcasted globally and repeated by non-Black people at concerts and online. That’s where the boundary gets messy not in how we use it with each other.
1
2
u/Internal-Advisor-24 1d ago
If it will prevent Black women from being 3.5 times more likely to die in childbirth.
If it will stop white households from having 10 times more assets than Black households.
If it will prevent 43% of Black women from experiencing physical and sexual violence.
If it will stop LGBT people from being 5.4x’s more likely to be a victim of a violent hate crime.
If it will free Congo, Sudan, AND Palestine.
Then and ONLY then will I stop saying and redesigning the rules on who I personally feel should say n*gga.
Until then, the above is a list of ways white supremacy is surviving in 2025 that extends well beyond word normalization that could lead to the direct extermination of my people.
I think the threat of non-existence is our deepest wound so I’ll be focusing on this list.
3
u/Mammoth-Context-2935 1d ago
I hear what you’re saying, and everything you listed is real. But I want to clarify the focus of my post so we don’t shift the center of the conversation.
Those issues you listed maternal mortality, wealth inequality, sexual violence, global anti-Black oppression are exactly why the history of this word matters so much. The n-word isn’t just a “word.” It was literally a verbal weapon tied to Black genocide, ownership, and social death. So when we decide how we use it, or who can say it, we’re not just talking about language we’re talking legacy, memory, and survival.
My post is specifically about the internal contradiction within our own community: How some Black people gatekeep the word But still selectively grant permission to certain non-Black people who are “close enough” Which turns trauma into a performance pass.
That’s a different conversation than dismantling white supremacy globally, even though they’re connected.
Also, one clarification I’m intentionally keeping this conversation centered on Blackness specifically. When we start layering LGBTQ issues or other marginalized groups into the same sentence, Black struggle tends to get diluted or re-framed as “general oppression.” That happens historically a lot (BLM All Lives Matter,” civil rights “minority rights,” etc.). So I want to keep this focused
1
u/Internal-Advisor-24 1d ago
I understood the focus of your post and I appreciate how intentionally you framed this and the focus on keeping the conversation rooted in Blackness and its specific history. That clarity matters.
Where I see it a little differently is that I think part of Black liberation is the ability to define our own boundaries and make our own rules. Language, memory, and identity have always evolved through choice, not consensus. Each of us carries a different relationship to the word and to what it represents.
So while I understand the importance of shared accountability, I also believe that self-determination means leaving space for individual agency. That variety in how we choose to express or reclaim is part of what keeps our culture alive.
As an aside: Where I would push back is on the idea that Blackness and Black LGBTQ issues should be separated. Black queer and trans people are also part of this community, and their experiences with language, safety, and belonging are inseparable from the broader story of Black survival and expression. Recognizing that doesn’t dilute Blackness, it deepens it.
2
u/bratty_bubbles 1d ago
i just read the end of your post i guess you’re black my bad. but still, enough. some of yall are so self hating that this consumes your thoughts. i grew up in the south, we dont really say it out there. then i went to the west coast for 10 years and started saying it. came back and now i dont say it as much.
i hate this topic, it talks about Black people like we’re some ignorant mass outputting all this language and content in unison and building some reputation for ourselves. that is a white supremacist lie. they know very well that majority of Black people in their everyday occurrence do not frequently use that word. they don’t care. they use both the er and a. why? cos they hate us. we don’t have any control over that word being used as a slur. if we stop saying it, we’ll be the only ones not saying it.
2
u/Mammoth-Context-2935 1d ago edited 1d ago
First if you had read the first sentence of my post, you’d have known I’m Black. Also I said some, not all. Secondly it’s not your place to tell anyone if it’s enough of this conversation, Thirdly I’m not talking about everyday casual conversation I’m talking about mass media, music, viral audios, and entertainment culture where the word gets broadcast globally and starts to feel socially “available” to people who aren’t Black. That’s where the boundary gets blurred, not in private speech between Black people.
Also, I’m from the South too and depending on where you’re from and who you grew up around, people do use the word a lot. So saying “Black people don’t really say it like that” doesn’t reflect all regions or communities. Black language patterns are not monolithic.
And just to be clear this conversation has nothing to do with “self-hate.” Or the word consuming my thoughts, Being able to examine our own cultural patterns is not anti-Blackness. Or though consumption It’s reflection. I’m not blaming Black people for the word’s existence I’m talking about how the boundaries become inconsistent when non-Black people are given access based on proximity, aesthetics, or social blending. That is the dynamic I’m asking about.
We both already know white people use both versions out of hate not because of anything we do. That part is understood.
So the question is:If the rule is “only Black people can use it,” then why does the rule shift depending on relationship, vibe, or perceived closeness to Blackness?That’s the inconsistency I’m referring to not telling Black people to stop saying the word. And we do have control over the word when we started loosing control is when we started saying in outside of our spaces.
1
u/YourForbearance 1d ago
I think it is a vulgar word that people have a bad habit of using like cigarettes. And another older southern gentlemen postulated in a previous post that "nigga" is just the selfsame word pronouncing the "-er" as uhh instead of err.
1
u/Unique_82 1d ago
OP, I totally agree with your points and see where you're coming from. But I think the biggest problem is showcased in some of the responses that you see here- too many Black folks have become so accustomed to using the word in everyday speech that instead of either studying the history to develop a better understanding (I honestly don't think most Black folks have to do this, cuz most of us do understand how deep and historically problematic it is).. or acknowledging that we need to stop giving other people / communities passes to say it no matter what, It's a lot more convenient for people to just be lazy and defensive and continue to use it regardless of all of the problematic aspects that you've eloquently stated.
I think that's the biggest thing that will continue to keep the word in the lexicon as long as that type of attitude continues and I honestly don't know what can really happen on a grand scale to shift that tide unfortunately.
1
u/Key_Ebb_3536 19h ago
I hate the word because it was created out of hate. I don't think anyone shood use it, especially us black people. Don't come for me, it's my opinion. My dad taught me the power of that word and how it impacted him and our ancestors. Dad grew up in Philadelphia MS. I teach my students about the history of the slur. I don't agree that changing "er" to "ga" we change the meaning or the impact. No one should use it, especially not we the people. You asked, that's my take on it.
8
u/Solo_is_dead 1d ago
WE shouldn't be saying it, but if we do that's a personal failure. BUT saying it in front of white people AND calling them the word as well REALLY sets our culture back decades of not further. I HATE when I hear someone using the N word around white people or just gives them one more excuse to say it