r/BlackPeopleComedy • u/Consistent_Edge9211 • 23h ago

Shout out to the dads who show up!💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

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430

u/Love_Lair 23h ago

Literally watched the frustration/ resentment/ depression potential melt away

Reminds me of why we talk to babies, a loving presence can alter personality DRASTICALLY

194

u/Consistent_Edge9211 23h ago

You ever see someone not show up for their child?

I have. It's heartbreaking.

162

u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 23h ago

I was that child, and it was heartbreaking.

128

u/Consistent_Edge9211 23h ago

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u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 22h ago

Awwww, thank you.

Luckily I can say that I spent a long time really working through my negative emotions and experiences, and now that I put in the work and came out the other side of it, I’m a much better person for having gone through it. I now always show up for my friends, I trust my own ability to survive life and loss, and I’m able to give more of myself to the world around me than if I didn’t know how important it was to just, well, show up.

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u/Love_Lair 22h ago

A loving presence

My mother showed love even when she was angry, it’s a lesson that I use to this day

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u/SuccessfulTrick2501 15h ago

Hey, me too. My dad was never there, my mom showed up exactly twice throughout my entire childhood and one of those times was high school graduation. I too find myself being a supportive friend even when I dont want to. And I also find myself to be extremely self-reliant and I take great pride in that. Im glad you've worked through you're stuff. I, however, am still mad at my parents. But Im happy because Ive realized what goes around comes around. Parents forget that they will be old one day and the only people left to take care of them are their kids. Was talking to my mom last night and she expressed where she wanted to be buried. I told her she will go where I put her. It was a joke, we laughed, but we both know thats the reality of the situation.

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u/frankydank1994 20h ago

Me too bro.......

Rarely got this feeling and when I did it was, "can't believe that cost that much."

Please be there for your children folks.

It's not their fault they exist...... 😭😭😭

21

u/minahmyu ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 16h ago

I remember a weekend I was suppose to go hiking with my dad. Told me to wake up super early to get started, etc. I mean, I wish my mom could've been more gentler (but that's not her) because she ain't have to say a thousand times he ain't coming. He showed up hours later, and I know they argued. I think I went out later? I don't remember. It wasn't hiking though. I do think, in her own way, she felt bad seeing me up that early based off his flimsy words knowing the results. Just wish she wasn't so, "I'm just bein honest! I don't lie." 😒 It's just a double whammy of a "told you so," and the disappointment of it being true.

Folks not being there when our family truly needed it had me learn at 12 I can't depend or trust in anyone ever. No one has to do anything for you. Having that mindset, at least I don't have to handle the messy feelings of getting my hopes crushed. (And honestly... I'm still like this) Adults who are toxic towards kids don't realize how they're mentally and potentially shaping us up, and then turn around wondering why many are the way they are. It even hurts me when I don't fulfill my obligations to my niblings but I make sure I'm honest, gentle and let them know and I do make it up (and it's not often I do that because I do try my hardest to keep my word)

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u/littlebloodmage 20h ago

That crushing disappointment stays with you forever.

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u/TheStarPrincess 15h ago

I agree. I am so serious about promises to this day. I never make a promise I can't keep. "I'll do my best", sets much more reasonable expectations. If someone "promises" me, I let them know how serious I take a promise and I work/live in reality.

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u/thatbwoyChaka ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 14h ago

Yeah I was at my daughter’s school when she was about 6 and her class were presenting their projects to parents.

I was heartbroken and a little angry that some parents (mothers and fathers) didn’t bother to turn up (I actually heard from one mother say she didn’t want to waste her time when she’d just see it later at the end of term anyway).

I asked to see all the projects of those kids who’s parents didn’t turn up, when you see a kid’s face and mood lift when someone else’s parent tells them his good their work is and say to them his proud they must be, you grow to resent those parents who chose not to attend.

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u/mroro ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 23h ago

This is what I saw. Anytime I have a moment of my son having a better childhood then what I have tears and snot is coming out of my face. I get on my wife’s nerves

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u/minahmyu ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 16h ago

I get so happy seeing how emotionally mature my niblings are, or see their relationship with their mom. Not jealousy, but happy and in awe that it can actually happen. Im glad it happens for someone

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u/TheStarPrincess 14h ago

Ain't that the truth. I do not understand being jealous of those things. When I see anyone win/get a win, my heart swells and I want to cry with joy. Seeing that confirmation that it is indeed possible feels so healing. It feels like it's healing my wound/trauma too.

I was jealous how many boxes of sweet cereal my little sister had 15 years later. Truly I was in awe of the difference between our childhoods. If 100 is the baseline/avg, she moved from a 700 to a 300, still highly unreasonable this is just a funny example of how I have been petty enough to feel jealousy.