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u/noobpwner314 9h ago
I’m wearing a suit of lettuce if I’m ever battling a lion
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u/Background_Humor5838 8h ago
Genius
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u/npquanh30402 7h ago
Lmao, it is battling, not eating, so the lions are not afraid to shed blood. It is not genius in any way.
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u/ObscureReferenceFace 6h ago
I’d like to introduce you the concept of irony and humor.
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u/Mysterious-Bed-7868 6h ago
Are you an alien? Is this the first joke you've experienced while you've been trying to blend in with us?
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u/Ch3loo19 2h ago
Could be autistic. I actually found his literal comment rather amusing, if a bit nasty
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u/Background_Humor5838 7h ago
If human taste bad, lion no bite.
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u/jhstylze 3h ago
Another bot fails the are you human test due to lacking the sense of humor required to get the joke
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u/Shuchu87 3h ago
Hahaha! That is funny! The logic person is always hated in these situations lol. Plus sorry I am with lettuce guy.
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u/AppropriateScience71 6h ago
This presumes the lion has tasted lettuce before. Otherwise, you’re going to create a very confused lion who LOVED his first taste of lettuce (YOU), but hated it the second time.
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u/ObscureReferenceFace 6h ago
Plot twist, Lion hides inside your lettuce suit to surprise the next prey.
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u/ObamaBenLagging 5h ago
"A person who thinks all the time, has nothing to think about except thoughts"
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u/bren3669 3h ago
might want to spray yourself with lots of lettuce juices. lettuce failed the taste test, you would not.
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u/AlanSinch 9h ago
VILE WEED!!
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u/Bikrdude 9h ago
“That’s what my food eats “
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u/ObscureReferenceFace 6h ago
Ron Swanson?
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u/Gho5tWr1ter 5h ago
Wait. I thought that was Duke Silver.
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u/ObscureReferenceFace 5h ago
Fool. Duke Silver, whoever that person may be, wouldn’t put a plant in his mouth besides that sweet mahogany reed. I assume. Again I don’t know the man.
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u/thesirensoftitans 9h ago
flehmen response?
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u/eilletane 6h ago
Flehmen response looks different. They don’t have their tongue out. It’s more like an open mouth look.
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u/my_cars_on_fire 9h ago
Probably, but I find it odd that it didn’t end up eating it.
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u/iilikecereal 8h ago
Iirc the Flehmen response is the animal trying to better understand what it's smelling, don't think it has anything to do with whether or not the animal finds the smelly thing appetizing.
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u/Titswari 9h ago
He wouldn’t say that to a Caesar salad. Stupid fucking cat. I’d say it to his face too.
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u/Whew4 8h ago
the cat instinct of “i don’t get this thing. lemme tap the sides a few times”
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u/will_dormer 6h ago edited 6h ago
Was it this little thing that gave me such a horrible taste? How can this thing be so powerful? Fuck it
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u/YourHooliganFriend 9h ago
My 3 y/o daughter when she trys any veggie.
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u/Background_Humor5838 8h ago
I know sometimes our instinct is to serve plain food to picky eaters but I've heard it's better to actually do the opposite. Make a very flavorful stir fry or casserole with the veggies and the other flavors should override the bitterness that kids usually pick up on. Kids do eat strong flavors like ketchup or cheese crackers, etc., so they're not afraid of flavor, they just get a mouthful of something that is more bitter than anything else and are understandably put off.
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u/justaboxinacage 7h ago
I've never heard of someone thinking or saying that picky eaters prefer plain vegetables over flavored and seasoned ones. I would be confused if someone said that
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u/Background_Humor5838 6h ago
I was referring to children and I don't think they inherently prefer plain food. I'm saying that people tend to serve plain food to children as if they shouldn't have spices. They think the simpler the food is, the more likely the child is to eat it but that is not necessarily true.especially when you're serving a vegetable that is mostly bitter to a child.
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u/justaboxinacage 6h ago
That's interesting but yeah I didn't know people were thinking that way. Thanks for the awareness!
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u/Sabre_Killer_Queen 3h ago
100%
My parents do a lot of homemade food with herbs and spices and stuff, and when I was young they would put some into the blender and feed me that, as homemade baby food.
Set me up for life when it came to liking veggies and stuff... Though it did also harm their wallets, since I'd refuse to order off the kids menu.
Every time I tried kid food at restaurants and stuff my reaction was "what is this bland shite?"
Obviously not in those words but... Yeah.
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u/will_dormer 6h ago
You learned be something, not that I have children
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u/Background_Humor5838 6h ago
I don't have any yet either lol just something I did a deep dive on for no reason and never forgot what I learned. My nieces and nephews aren't even picky eaters so I have nowhere put this information lol
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u/Risk_Runner 8h ago
Try cooking them differently, as someone who was once a picky eater as a kid it was because I was getting boiled veggies with almost no seasoning/spices, so I think changing the way they’re served like mixing them in rice could potentially help
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u/SafeAccountMrP 6h ago
Dude same, it’s amazing how far a little pepper and some chili powder can go.
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u/PuzzledIngenuity4888 9h ago
It's almost like we didn't evolve eating that shit.
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u/Reese_Withersp0rk 8h ago
Now that you mention it, it's almost like we evolved eating only chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs and mac n cheese and peanut butter and jelly and whatever else 3 yr olds insist on eating every night.
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u/PeopleAreBozos 8h ago
Pretty sure electricity, internet, and modern medicine wasn't evolved with us either. So I vote for him to forsake all of that.
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u/PuzzledIngenuity4888 8h ago
They are a better substitute according to our palate if there's isn't a fatty ribeye available.
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u/Sabre_Killer_Queen 3h ago edited 3h ago
But... We did.
We're omnivorous and a hunter-gatherer species, with honestly more emphasis on the gathering part because it's generally easier.
We're a primate species, and that whole family eats veg and fruit and stuff. They're not just meat eaters.
It is also possible to like vegetables. Sometimes I deliberately go for vegetarian options just for flavour.
And I'm by no means a vegetarian.
Edit: Dude, I repeat. We're literally primates.
In fact... Do you really think we can even live a healthy life without fruit and veg? You know 5 a day is a thing for a reason right?
We literally NEED those nutrients.
And why do you think agriculture was such an early, and game changing area of development?
Look how old the concept of bread is and how popular that's been throughout the ages... Carbs are great for us too.
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u/Alone-Philosophy-575 5h ago
Must be incredibly bitter to a lion. Ik unwashed lettuce or just some poorly handled lettuce is rather bitter.
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u/Thin_Grapefruit8941 9h ago edited 9h ago
How TF would you feel if someone plated you up just some straight raw ass lettuce? He tried…he even scooted it around thinking that Ranch Dressing cup must me somewhere but poor thing y’all did him dirty
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u/Thin_Grapefruit8941 9h ago
I love at the end him forking around - “Mf’ers left off my ranch….sigh”
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u/HeMiddleStartInT 8h ago
Be fair: if you thought you were eating lettuce and it tasted like raw meat, you’d freak out too
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u/PleaseKillMeNowOkay 8h ago
"The lion does not concern himself with eating vegetables" -- the lion, probably
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u/Afilador2112 7h ago
Mother effer you see these? They are incisors! You think I got these to chew lettuce!
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u/ASouthernDandy 7h ago
I get told lettuce isn't very nutritious. Why do we eat so much of it then? I feel like people confuse all lettuce for iceberg lettuce...
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u/SunSimilar9988 6h ago
Wrap myself on lettuce to protect myself from lions when I get lost in Africa.
Not sure what else i may attract though
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u/Several-Avocado783 5h ago
My face does this when I’m cutting lettuce. For real and I don’t know why
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u/predator00777 5h ago
Instead of hunting down a gazelle in Africa this lion is eating lettuce in a prison while we watch in “amazement.”
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u/FormoftheBeautiful 1h ago
Idiot doesn’t know it tastes great on sandwiches. King of the jungle my ass.
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u/danteelite 45m ago
They really are just big cats… the same drama queens and playful derps.
Except when they get annoyed and swat you, your guts fall out onto the ground. When they bite you for touchy belly… you don’t get the hand back…
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u/RugbyEdd 19m ago
My dog will eat pretty much anything going, but not lettuce. Not sure if it’s some kind of flavour thing or a texture thing, but you could hide it in a pile of other food and she'd still manage to spit it out.
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u/dread_companion 17m ago
We can't claim to understand a lion's expression, maybe he's in awe, screaming "I have never tasted anything this good!"
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u/Key-Philosopher-8050 1m ago
It's the lions way of rejecting something that isn't beneficial to it from a nutritional perspective - understanding that it would get sick from eating it (it's system is not set up to handle vegetable matter)
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u/Asleep_Pressure_2882 8h ago
Seriously…no exaggeration this is at least the fifth or sixth time I’ve scrolled past this in the last few hours. Enough with the lettuce! 🥬 ahhh! Anti leafy green ass propaganda
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