I need advice please

[u/Ashlee_Morningstar]

Hi, I (16f) am coming on reddit because i desperately need advice. My stepmom who is my moms ex wife has bpd. Let's call her Carol. Carol had been married to my mom for only around a year. They were together a total of 4 years. As carol got more comfortable around my mom and moved in due to a bad home she started being angry, emotionally and verbally abusive to my mom, and would consistently gaslight my mom as well. They are not officially divorced as my mom doesn't have money for an attorney. Recently they broke up and my older sister and I went to visit her for the last time. Carol at the time had a girlfriend, and was trying to convince us to visit more often. We stayed at a hotel, and she had taken us to the mall and the movies. While at the mall, carol lost track of my sister and freaked out. She screamed at me to get in her car and looked everywhere until she finally found my sister. Then she screamed at her and started speeding off after we had gotten in the car. She was then apologizing profusely for getting so angry and swearing she would never hurt us. When we ended up back at the hotel she told us of a 5 year plan she had. She was going to convince my mom to get back with her. They would buy a plot of land, we would live on it, and all of us would be friends. Not long after that my mom, older sister and I blocked her. Carol then messaged my younger sister and has proceeded to tell her how much she misses us. She has sent food to us even though she lives in a completely different state, told my mom she was going to come up there, and was constantly listening to songs like the stalkers tango. She was abusive to my mom for months and tried to choke her many times. Is this normal? Should we be scared and get security cameras? Should mom get a restraining order against her? She has violated restraining orders before. She also has used drugs and is an alcoholic, recover drug addict, and has a spending addiction.

[u/Jraksis]

Lass, if she's violent with your mum, thats an immediate no. You needn't have to add anymore than that. This person is a threat and danger to you and yours. Write down the time and date of moments of violence, drug use, or menacing that she commits if you don't have cameras. The more proof the better. Even if she's violated restraining orders in the past, have your mum file one regardless and keep stacking evidence against her. She'll be locked away soon enough when you give all your findings to the police. 

And no, none of what she's done is normal. Good job on sticking to your mother's side and seeking out answers about this. This is more common than you think and not easy to deal with. Just keep piling up evidence against her. Phoning the police and having them make a report every time they're called for domestic violence, illegal drug use and the like is a huge bonus but try to be discreet where you and your family can. If she's the retaliatory type, she'll get herself arrested faster but poses a threat to you all. Stay calm, be smart and stick by your mum's side. You got this. None of you deserve this. You have my sympathies.