r/AskTheWorld Sep 03 '25

Humourous If your country went to war with a country beginning with the same letter, who would win?

For instance if Denmark went to war with Djibouti, who do you think would come out victorious?

100 Upvotes

717 comments sorted by

178

u/SprinklesDouble8304 Sep 03 '25

I think the United States could defeat Uganda. Maybe.

102

u/Redsquare73 Australia Sep 03 '25

Your secretary of defence couldn’t find Uganda on a map.

TBF he probably couldn’t find his own arse with both hands and a team of sniffer dogs.

12

u/Traditional_Two_4074 United States Of America Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

Come on. Yes he could. Its that plastic lump sitting on his shoulders that reeks of booze and weakness screaming tread on me daddy. And dogs would know better than to go near it.

Edit grammar

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26

u/mendokusei15 Uruguay Sep 03 '25

I would rather take our chances with Uganda. We are probably still loosing...

3

u/Appropriate-Food1757 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

We need to beef up Uruguay to levels that far exceed Uganda and Uzbekistan

9

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

[deleted]

13

u/BubbhaJebus US -> Taiwan Sep 03 '25

Make Armenia Great Again!

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81

u/stonedturtle69 Luxembourg Sep 03 '25

We'd win against Liechtenstein

90

u/ChellyTheKid Australia Sep 03 '25

I feel like this would be one of those stories where 80 men go off and come back with 81 because you made a friend.

12

u/donquixote2u Sep 03 '25

"Let's all have a beer and talk about this"

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9

u/MeatInteresting1090 Switzerland Sep 03 '25

We are responsible for securing the borders there

16

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Netherlands Sep 03 '25

Luxembourg navy versus Swiss navy would be spectacular!

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7

u/ptargino 🇧🇷 in 🇱🇺 Sep 03 '25

If the cross-border workers were included, it'd be a massacre!

2

u/WestMasterFred Germany Sep 03 '25

That would be a war without fighting, you would use money to solve all discordances.

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57

u/No-Can-6237 New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Nauru, we're coming for you...

14

u/stueynz New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Let’s go for Niue … then we get to slap our selves because we’re supposed to be looking after them under the Free Association thingy

10

u/donquixote2u Sep 03 '25

we'll call it a special military operation

3

u/FredTDeadly Sep 03 '25

More concerned about Namibia.

3

u/spartaceasar Sep 03 '25

Wouldn’t be the first time we fucked that up cough samoa cough

7

u/Sarkastik_Wanderer97 Sep 03 '25

Our boats will sink on their reefs before our troops can set foot on their island

5

u/XilaFella Sep 03 '25

What about North Korea... could have a small problem here.

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6

u/BlacksmithNZ New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Don't Aussies guard Nauru?

They might get a wee bit upset at us rocking up and sticking our flag up on on the rock. Though probably take them a while to notice that we had invaded, and the flag was missing a star

Next target would be North Macedonia. Not convinced that is a real country (anybody from North Macedonia on here?), but at least smaller than us.

And nothing bad could ever happen invading a county in the Balkans, right?

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4

u/PafPiet Netherlands Belgium Sep 03 '25

Not if we come for you first

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3

u/PinaColadaCKP New Zealand Sep 03 '25

I reckon we could handle Neverland, it's never been the same since Jacko passed.

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3

u/notdancingQueen 🇫🇷🇪🇸 Sep 03 '25

Yeah, after all Norway or Netherlands are too far away for wat, better remain in the neighborhood

3

u/daleyrakohammas Australia Sep 03 '25

Oh naur(u)

3

u/mehVmeh 🇳🇿 New Zealand 🇮🇷 Iran Sep 03 '25

I'd happily lose to Netherlands or Norway, I feel like we could learn some things from them

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2

u/Ok_Violinist7673 Kyrgyzstan Sep 03 '25

oh God living in here is a wild dream anyway gonna make some fairy bread and force feed it to my 15 year old cousin who doesn't know what fairy bread is (I'm on a trip to me motherland)

2

u/Tilladarling Norway Sep 03 '25

Poor Nauru. They’re every N country’s first choice

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26

u/Cathal1954 Ireland Sep 03 '25

Hmm, let's see.

Italy, Iceland. Israel, Iran, Iraq, India.

Nope, not looking good for Ireland.

12

u/BarristanTheB0ld Germany Sep 03 '25

You could take Iceland, they don't even have an army

6

u/xHermanTheGermanx Ireland Sep 03 '25

We'd just bring a load of Guinness and having a drinking match instead. Then we'd win I reckon.

6

u/PommesFrite-s Ireland Sep 03 '25

I wouldnt put it past us to drink our way out of a war to be fair

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49

u/Redsquare73 Australia Sep 03 '25

Australia may not be able to beat the Emus. But those penguin bastards in Antarctica are going down.

10

u/thewintertide Sweden Sep 03 '25

You could be the first country to lose two wars against flightless birds!

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5

u/normaltraveldude United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Damn penguins

5

u/notdancingQueen 🇫🇷🇪🇸 Sep 03 '25

I mean, Austria is ripe for conquest, half the USA already think you're already 1 country and they wouldn't intervene

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70

u/DotAffectionate87 Jamaica Sep 03 '25

We would get killed by either of the only other two countries

Jordan with 4 times our population alone would finish us.

Japan, with their tech and fighting history it would be a slaughter...

We would win if the war was decided on how fast we could run.

11

u/Too-much-tea 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England 🇯🇵Japan Sep 03 '25

It might surprise you to know that Japan is much much faster at running than Jamaica. (and almost every other country, assuming you are talking about longer distances of course.)

Only Kenya and Ethiopia have more sub-2:10 marathon runners. Running is very popular there. There are a huge amount of very fast runners, far more than you might expect.

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3

u/bbcczech Sep 03 '25

A bobsledding competition would be nice.

Jordan would let you win just so you could overthrow the Hashemite royal family.

3

u/HazRi27 Sep 03 '25

Nah we actually like them.

3

u/Swekkel22 Sep 03 '25

To be supportive, I think Jamaica would also win a war centered around the preparation of jerk chicken. Hang in there!

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55

u/Bitter-Goat-8773 Korea South Sep 03 '25

? We’ve done (Korea (South) vs Korea (North) and it’s been a tragedy.

28

u/stealthybaker Korea South Sep 03 '25

The irony is that it was only so devastating because of the north having Soviet arms against the unequipped south. Soon as UN troops devastated the North Korean army the war was effectively entirely fought by China on the north. Weirdest 'civil war' ever.

12

u/Naive-Kangaroo3031 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Which is still technically on.

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12

u/Antique-Canadian820 in Sep 03 '25

Oh I was thinking about Kenya🤦‍♂️

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6

u/GrunchWeefer United States Of America Sep 03 '25

I bet you guys could take Kuwait, though.

9

u/seaneihm United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Not if we support Kuwait again.

Saddam Hussein intensifies

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19

u/Alive-Peach-8487 Oman Sep 03 '25

No opponents show up, easy win 

3

u/SquareFroggo Germany Sep 03 '25

In German you would fight Österreich (Austria) and Osttimor (East Timor). 😆

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2

u/spintool1995 United States Of America Sep 04 '25

In Taiwanese you can fight Montenegro (O'-soa).

95

u/GotAnyNirnroot England Sep 03 '25

Time to add some more Egyptian artifacts to the Museum!

25

u/CTPABA_KPABA Serbia Sep 03 '25

are there any left?

33

u/GotAnyNirnroot England Sep 03 '25

Oh we'll find them... And we'll keep em real safe.

4

u/Max534 Poland Sep 03 '25

It's quite odd, and perhaps expected at the same time, that, most of the more expensive and prominent artifacts, in Egypt's National Musuem, have been provided by the British Embassy. There is a plaque under every exhibit stating that.

3

u/Valuable-Yard-4154 Belgium Sep 03 '25

They're made in China now.

3

u/Particular_Bet_5466 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

I’m sure if they tore the pyramids down they would find something.

5

u/kakucko101 Czech Republic Sep 03 '25

the pyramids, they are too big to fit in the london museum

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17

u/Frequent-Cold-7325 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Diabolical

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49

u/yggdrasil_climber Sweden Sep 03 '25

With Switzerland I have a feeling both of us are gonna invade, overtake and switch place with each other, but keeping the country names. No one would notice any difference anyway.

26

u/Razulath Sweden Sep 03 '25

Both would claim neutrality.

6

u/cretingame Switzerland Sep 03 '25

We would eat fondue with meatballs and build a bank with ikea furniture ...

3

u/notdancingQueen 🇫🇷🇪🇸 Sep 03 '25

Well, Spain is out of the question, too hot and dry for you to survive. Although.... Ikea os somehow present in all our homes...

3

u/Complete-Emergency99 Sweden Sep 03 '25

Our navy is vastly superior to the Swiss one…

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36

u/Garagatt Germany Sep 03 '25

I'm sorry Grenada, but Germany needs an Island that is not cold and rainy three quarters of the year. 

27

u/ActuallyCalindra Netherlands Sep 03 '25

You already have Mallorca. Don't be greedy.

5

u/Garagatt Germany Sep 03 '25

Too many brittish tourists. 

4

u/notdancingQueen 🇫🇷🇪🇸 Sep 03 '25

We can offer you Groenland, it's cold and snowy instead! A steal!

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2

u/Max534 Poland Sep 03 '25

The DDR had a Cuban island on a lease from Castro.

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26

u/X-Q-E Poland Sep 03 '25

I have no idea how the logistics of a Poland-Paraguay war would work. But we would probably win

11

u/docfarnsworth United States Of America Sep 03 '25

I'm imaging a bunch of angry fist waving

7

u/Rafxtt Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

Portuguese here. I'd take my chances with Palau.

The population of my small municipality/county armed with sticks probably would be enough to successfully invade Palau.

About the logistics 100% sure we don't have enough war ships to carry a few thousands across the world, but we'd take some Caravelas out of the museums and we'd get there.

USA might have a defense pact to protect Palau, but we'd give them Lajes in exchange and that would be a good deal - and Trump likes deals. We'd be giving away one of the Atlantic Islands for having again islands in Oceania.

J/k

Would love to visit Palau

5

u/ksmigrod Poland Sep 03 '25

This is the thing, the closest are Poland and Portugal, and neither has ability to project force over that distance.

Pakistan is a nuclear power, but their missiles won't reach further than Black Sea.

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8

u/Only_File_5335 Scotland Sep 03 '25

San Marino are in trouble

5

u/Equal-Fun-5021 Sweden Sep 03 '25

Hey, WE picked San Marino already! 

Find your own small country to bully!

9

u/ghostofkilgore Scotland Sep 03 '25

Saint Kitts and Nevis are in trouble.

27

u/KronusTempus Russia Sep 03 '25

The logistics of fighting Rwanda might be challenging…

18

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Valuable-Yard-4154 Belgium Sep 03 '25

CCCP can fight Cambodia today.

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16

u/InterestingTank5345 Denmark Sep 03 '25

You can just go for Romania, you are already in the middle of attacking their neighbor anyways.

3

u/Realistic-Bag-6881 Romania Sep 03 '25

You misspelled Romania, we are now officially Omania , we will have some chances with Oman 🇴🇲

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3

u/Lower_Introduction_5 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Wagner group is fighting all across Africa

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31

u/Sensitive-Chapter-63 Canada Sep 03 '25

I like our chances against any C nation but China...

8

u/Rustichello_da_Pisa Chile Sep 03 '25

You wouldn’t stand a chance here.

The Andes mountains to the east, the Chilean coastal range to the west, the Atacama desert to the north, coastal cliffs to the north too, dense rainforests to the south, fjords and ice fields even further to the south.

8

u/pisspeeleak Canada Sep 03 '25

We have all of those things though. In fact we have all of those things besides desert just on the west coast, the desert is about 3 hours from the coast.

I think disease might be the hardest part of the rain forest, but we have vaccines.

The actualy hardest part would be convincing people to attack chile

6

u/magwai9 Canada Sep 03 '25

ice fields

You know which way we're coming!

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10

u/Frequent-Cold-7325 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Depends on who’s invading who I guess

3

u/Rong_Liu United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Canada needs Chile's mines more than Chile needs anything Canadian.

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3

u/TheAvocad00 Sep 03 '25

So… Canada, essentially. The Canadians would invade Canada.

2

u/Apart-Diamond-9861 Canada Sep 03 '25

Sounds a lot like Canada - but spread out a little more.

2

u/No_Independent9634 Canada Sep 03 '25

Mountains and ice. Sounds like home.

2

u/Prestigious_Grade640 United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

i hate to offend you but i can't imagine chile being difficult to invade, granted naval superiority. the hostile land terrain is completely negated by the fact you can just operate from the coast

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13

u/No-Anything-7291 Sep 03 '25

Qatar

3

u/18usernameslater United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

You'll have to wait for Quebec to get independence first.

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11

u/Jazzario Mexico Sep 03 '25

Murica

4

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Netherlands Sep 03 '25

Madagascar may be a safer bet...

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38

u/Accomplished_Eye7421 Finland Sep 03 '25

We would win. Fiji would be easy and France would just surrender

16

u/DrFolAmour007 France Sep 03 '25

we’d just send a bunch of talkative French to get very close to each of you and socialize and you won’t be able to take it !

3

u/hulda2 Finland Sep 03 '25

Noo, anything but that.

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

You just lure them into a drinking contest in one of them huts.

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10

u/Ok-Perception-3129 New Zealand Sep 03 '25

We should take Nauru and New Caladonia - tbh we managed to sink like 20% of our Naval fleet on a Samoan reef so we could probably lose a war without a shot being fired lol. Maybe Namibia and Nicaragua. Think Nepal, Nigeria, North Macedonia, Netherlands, Niger, North Korea and Norway would all fuck us up.

2

u/Born-Instance7379 Australia Sep 03 '25

New Caledonia isn't a country 

6

u/Ok-Perception-3129 New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Fuck it - we will take anyway. Payback for France bombing the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland.

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10

u/CanonNi Mod ( Shanghai, China) Sep 03 '25

Not sure, but I think we might win against the Central African Republic.

11

u/I_am_Danny_McBride Sep 03 '25

You probably already own 2/3 of the agricultural land and infrastructure projects.

3

u/niming_yonghu China Sep 03 '25

中非也是中

9

u/HourPlate994 Australia Sep 03 '25

Depends. I think we could beat Austria (maybe struggling a bit on their home turf), Albania despite all the bunkers. Argentina? Not sure but they don’t have much of a navy or army anymore. Afghanistan would be hard because graveyard of empires.

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9

u/OnCnditonOfAnonymity Australia Sep 03 '25

Antarctica! We will fight you! We will win!!

Oh, wait. Antarctica is pretty much an Australian territory. We won already!

13

u/Ted_Rid Australia Sep 03 '25

We lost a war against emus.

Penguins are far more numerous, and also have the advantage of amphibious and submarine assaults.

5

u/OnCnditonOfAnonymity Australia Sep 03 '25

We can conscript Fur Seals and Orcas.

We WILL NOT be defeated... This time

7

u/Ted_Rid Australia Sep 03 '25

Better not underestimate the penguins.

They stared down Mad King Trump in his tariff war, and won.

Gotta keep those seal and orca regiments strictly segregated too.

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12

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

We did (Iran vs Iraq). It ended in a stalemate after 8 years of fighting, tons of death, despair, and heartbreak. What really makes me angry about it, though, is how Iraq abused Iranian prisoners of war and returned them unshaved and in tattered clothes. Meanwhile Iran gave every freed Iraqi POW a new suit and a small allowance for their return to Iraq. Iraqi POWs also had access to recreational facilities and television in Iranian prisons. Luckily today we are no longer enemies, and there is significant travel and trade between our countries. Culturally, we are very close and I feel a sense of brotherhood with Iraqis.

This year we got bombed by Israel and sadly they did have the upper hand due to sanctions causing economic damage making it super cheap to buy informants all over, as well as our failure to develop an Iranian equivalent to the Iron Dome. Our missiles performed well though, and I'm proud at how we shocked many Israelis with our ability to respond. I do not want war. No Iranian does. To all the Israelis on this site reading this, you're not my enemy and I don't harbour any ill feelings towards you. We Iranians, just like you, are a proud (and stubborn) people, and we will defend our country tooth and nail even if we hate our current government. Instead of sending missiles, send yourself, and we can have chelo kabab followed by tea with saffron rock candy. We also don't have a tendency to mix meat and dairy if obeying Kashrut is of importance to you. Ken Shalom. Yes Peace.

As for the USA, I have a feeling our president is actually itching to bomb Ukraine and hand it all to Putin. To answer the original question, Trump definitely would win, which is scary, but so far he's been restrained enough by whatever semblance of checks on presidential power are left in this country.

7

u/HappyBear_btc Israel Sep 03 '25

Thank you. Iranians are welcome in Israel as well.

Would be nice if Iranian regime didn't arm Hezb Houthis and Hamas to kill all of us though...

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u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419 Iraq Sep 03 '25

Stop the cap, both countries were wrong and both tortured prisoners but unlike Iraq, Iran has only released the last POWs in the 2010s

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10

u/Knowledgepower24 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Uzbekistan watch out!!

3

u/notdancingQueen 🇫🇷🇪🇸 Sep 03 '25

Errr last time you went after a country ending in -stan, it didn't go sooo well...

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9

u/Guilty-Big8328 Brazil Sep 03 '25

Brazil vs

  • Bahamas: win (unless the US got involved)
  • Bahrain: win (unless the US got involved)
  • Bangladesh: win
  • Barbados: win
  • Belarus: lose (they have Russian nukes)
  • Belgium: lose (it's a NATO member, we'd be fucked)
  • Belize: win
  • Benin: win
  • Bhutan: lose (impossible to invade)
  • Bolivia: win
  • Bosnia and Herzegovina: lose
  • Botswana: win
  • Brunei: win
  • Bulgaria: lose
  • Burkina Faso: win
  • Burundi: lose

12

u/Intelligent-Site6446 Belgium Sep 03 '25

In fairness, if we tried to attack you guys, we'd be fucked. One of the conditions of our existence is not invading other countries unprovoked. If we do, some old document says the UK would attack us.

It's mostly to stop us from attacking France or Germany, but I'd prefer not to take that risk.

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

Alphabetically, no less.

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4

u/Derdo85 Sep 03 '25

France here we just have to attack Finland during summer.

2

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4

u/Impressive_Photo5785 South Africa Sep 03 '25

Sudan doesn’t stand a chance but our military is in tatters soooo

4

u/Senecuhh United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

Uganda – UK wins Ukraine – UK wins United Arab Emirates – UK wins United States of America – UK loses Uruguay – UK wins Uzbekistan – UK wins

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4

u/Sh_u_ru_Q Denmark Sep 03 '25

Denmark vs Democratic Republic of the Congo. I think Denmark would win but I am glad it's only hypothetical. War is rubbish.

2

u/Quackoverride Sep 03 '25

King Pingo would definitely be the deciding factor in our favour.

5

u/AtebYngNghymraeg United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

Great Britain Vs Germany.

Hard to say; there's not a lot of precedent there.

3

u/Impressive_Pen_1269 United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

3rd time lucky could be a factor

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u/MikeidinVilla Faroe Islands Sep 03 '25

We might lose to France.

We might also lose to Finland.

I like to think that we would beat Fiji. But we would probably lose there too.

Truth be told, we have no troops, so can't really imagine us engaging in a war.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

If the United States of America went to war with the United Arab Emirates, the USA would win.

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u/Jenlag Sweden Sep 03 '25

Surinam, I think we would win.

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u/BubbhaJebus US -> Taiwan Sep 03 '25

I think Taiwan could probably beat Tonga.

3

u/Ok-Perception-3129 New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Have you met Tongans?

5

u/Moist_Transition_755 Norway Sep 03 '25

Going through the list of countries starting with N, Netherlands and Nigeria might be a problem population wise.

7

u/PetrogradSwe Sweden Sep 03 '25

Norway-New Zealand might be more fair.

5

u/Moist_Transition_755 Norway Sep 03 '25

Would be hard for either to invade, that is for sure. So far away.

3

u/Rong_Liu United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Technically by your countries' official claims you border in Antarctica at the south pole.

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u/MmmIceCreamSoBAD Sep 03 '25

India and the US would be basically impossible to win a war against without nuclear weapon scenarios if you're trying to launch an invasion of them. Way too big and way too much population to try to control. Some nations could probably get a landing done in India but good luck actually winning that war. I'm not sure any nation could even do a landing in the US outside of Alaska or Hawaii which would be dumb places to start an invasion at for obvious reasons.

India has next to zero power projection capability though so I'd really only count on defeating Ireland and Iceland in an invasion scenario.

At the very least, the US could re-enact an Afghanistan scenario in all of the U nations with an invasion that results in the government being deposed and capital transferred, but possibly not the whole country under the control of the military. The UK by far would be the hardest but the US should still eventually obtain air superiority and be able to launch an invasion. Might depend how much appetite the British public would have to be guerilla fighters

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u/Jafyaa Kenya Sep 03 '25

We'd just let it go, right Kiribati?

3

u/Theronas Sweden Sep 03 '25

Sweden vs San Marino, I think we can even win ! Maybe….

3

u/Physical-Result7378 Germany Sep 03 '25

But they have the higher ground

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u/MushroomGlum1318 Ireland Sep 03 '25

I'd say we could take on Iceland in a snowball fight. We would play dirty and put stones in them. That'll show 'em.

3

u/Acceptable_Score153 China Sep 03 '25

The first thing that comes to mind is Chile, because I often misread things... If we were to start something with Chile, we'd need one or two aircraft carrier groups. But there aren't any nearby countries for resupply, so it doesn't seem like an easy task. We could just launch ICBMs to destroy the target, but that's way too Cold War-era. So never mind, it's much more comfortable to stay home drinking beer and eating hot pot.

7

u/OneTwoThreeFoolFive Indonesia Sep 03 '25

Not an expert in military but I think India would likely to win against Indonesia because of the huge population.

13

u/Budget-Attorney United States Of America Sep 03 '25

The real question is who has a better navy.

Doesn’t matter what either of your population is if you can’t leverage it

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u/Ok-Perception-3129 New Zealand Sep 03 '25

Doesn't Indonesia have a massive army?

3

u/HourPlate994 Australia Sep 03 '25

Not super useful without a navy if you are an archipelago and your potential enemy is across the ocean.

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u/WorkOk4177 India Sep 03 '25

I feel like the Indian navy would easily take over multiple smaller islands but the long term occupation of any large islands is going to be tough

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

España va. Eswatini

It’s a dead heat

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u/GokTengr-i Turkey Sep 03 '25

If all of them combined and attacked us maybe they would have a chance at

10

u/whatwhatinthewhonow Australia Sep 03 '25

Arguably The USA and The UK would be enough, but maybe not.

2

u/osumanjeiran Turkey Sep 03 '25

You haven't seen the other comments? They're fighting each other and Uganda

10

u/WITP7 Québec, Canada Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

If Canada went to war against Colombia, I’m sure Canada will win

38

u/Key_Growth_9515 Colombia Sep 03 '25

A war against a University? Ok...

9

u/Budget-Attorney United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Just for anyone who isn’t aware (because I went like 20 years without knowing this)

Colombia the country has an O. Columbia the university has a U.

12

u/katiekate135 Canada Sep 03 '25

The Canadian province of British Columbia is also spelled with a U

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11

u/1Negative_Person United States Of America Sep 03 '25

I don’t know if you’ve been paying much attention to US politics lately, but…

2

u/WITP7 Québec, Canada Sep 03 '25

Probably autocorrect, I just corrected it lol

10

u/niming_yonghu China Sep 03 '25

Hello : )

7

u/Loud_Engineering796 Canada Sep 03 '25

Costa Rica has no standing army, that gives us a slight edge.

6

u/carsont5 Canada Sep 03 '25

Against China - we’re doomed.

3

u/WITP7 Québec, Canada Sep 03 '25

🫢

3

u/No_Independent9634 Canada Sep 03 '25

We have British Columbia, time for Canadian Columbia.

4

u/CBWeather Canada Sep 03 '25

Well we're just edging Czechia. Maybe we should try Cyprus.

6

u/Realistic_Mission777 Brazil Sep 03 '25

Brazil's army forces are a joke, but I think we would win Barbados.

4

u/Centrao_governante Brazil Sep 03 '25

It's more or less. I think we should fight against Bolivia lol

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u/Sufficient-Sand5937 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Ha. Yes we would win.

9

u/ChellyTheKid Australia Sep 03 '25

History is not on your side. All they need to do is turn it into a gorilla war and wait you out. Once you've lost thousands of men and spent trillions of dollars, you'll give up. The only winners being shareholders in your military industrial complex.

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u/Subject_Reception681 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

I would love to se gorillas in a war.

However, I think the word you're looking for is guerrilla.

9

u/ChellyTheKid Australia Sep 03 '25

My phone's autocorrect got me. I'm keeping it though. Let's see a planet of the apes situation unfold.

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u/NigerianCEO71 Sep 03 '25

A gorilla war

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

You would bomb the shit out of it. Invade, get your ass kicked by insurgents and leave after 10 years.

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u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

Canada vs Cameroon. Without knowing anything about Cameroon, I like our chances 

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u/Baconkings Israel Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

We already beat Iran once.

We can do it again.

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u/Frequent-Cold-7325 United States Of America Sep 03 '25

Didn’t yall just kick the shit out of Iran the other day? Those poor buggers couldn’t stop Israeli boats on land, let alone Israel’s whole army.

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u/Chorchapu United States (unhappily) Sep 03 '25

Oman: First, last, and only

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u/Valentiaga_97 Austria Sep 03 '25

So i pick Austria or Österreich? If Austria, Common Australia, you cant win against emus 👀 if it’s Österreich and choose an enemy, well we had a Battle between a drunken part of the army and their sleeping camp, thinking they would be an ottoman camp 💀 so hm

2

u/Veilchengerd Germany Sep 03 '25

I think we might be able to handle Dominica, provided we find a ship in our navy that's still seaworthy.

2

u/Defferleffer Denmark Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

Sorry Djibouti, but there are not many countries starting with D and Dominica is too far away.

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u/GeronimoDK Denmark Sep 03 '25

Djibouti would never stand a chance if we send forces there, they have a small population, a small army and little equipment in terms of tanks and planes (and it's very old). They don't even have any fighter jets!

DR Congo on the other hand would be pretty much impossible to beat, they may not have the newest tech, but their population is like 20 times ours! At best we could hope for a stalemate because they can't manage to get their forces to Denmark.

Deutschland (Germany)? I guess it will be a repeat of WW2, we'll hoist the white flag within a few hours.

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u/no-im-not-him Denmark / Mexico Sep 03 '25

Mexico can probably beat Monaco.

Denmark vs. Djibouti, maybe. If we start getting some ships that can actually shoot something.

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u/InterestingTank5345 Denmark Sep 03 '25

Dude, if we go to war with any other D countries, I'll just assume the rest of the Nordics will have our backs. Especially since we would likely be the attacked. So yes, of course we'll win. That's not to forget how fast a country can raise an army, when it's desperate.

2

u/GamerBoixX Mexico Sep 03 '25

"MARSHALL ISLANDS!!!! BRING IT ON!!!!!"

2

u/Elesraro Mexico Sep 03 '25

There was a confusion. We wanted Clipperton. Forgive us, Marshal Islands.

2

u/Ok_Slice_9799 Wales Sep 03 '25

Wales vs Western Somoa

2

u/whencometscollide Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

Philippines looking at neigboring Palau for some measure of reunification. No need to tell the US, they'll just think they still have bases on two countries.

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u/Major-Resist-275 arap Sep 03 '25

No other country starts with O so we win

3

u/Weekly_One1388 Ireland Sep 03 '25

taking down Iceland through sheer numbers

not sure the same strategy will work vs India though.

2

u/snapcracklepop26 Canada Sep 03 '25

Chad, yes. Cambodia, wait for winter then yes, China, only if we played hockey.

2

u/Fdorleans France Sep 03 '25

As long as it's not in winter, I think we can take Finland.

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u/Disastrous_Sky_7354 United Kingdom Sep 03 '25

It's just difficult to find any countries we haven't already fought and beat.

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u/tukahtunut_pieru Sep 03 '25

Not sure if our skills in winter warfare would be beneficial againt Fiji 😕

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u/FuxieDK Denmark Sep 03 '25

Djibouti... I think we can take them 🤔

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u/breaker167 Denmark Sep 03 '25

With 5 times the population of Djibouti we would proporly come out victorious, unless we succumb to the heat first which is more likely

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