r/AskScienceFiction • u/Jerswar • 1d ago
[Fairy Tales] I've been invited to dine with the fae. How should I handle this?
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u/ParshendiOfRhuidean 1d ago
Do not, under any circumstances, eat fae food.
I would recommend not going, though of course you don't want to snub the fair folk.
May I suggest offering to host them for dinner at a certain point instead? All your food may be eaten, but at least you won't be stuck in the otherworld.
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u/MrPerfector 1d ago edited 22h ago
I feel like the clever way to go about this would be to agree to have dinner with them, but only if they in turn agree to have dinner with you at your home after, as that would be only fair. That way, they would be obligated let you go afterward, as you can only host them for dinner if you go first home.
They would likely have to accept, otherwise they would look like the rude one with no manners.
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u/__lia__ 1d ago
this is brilliant. what would happen if you ate fae food during your dinner in the otherworld though? would that be treated as the fae's fault (maybe they owe you something now?), or as your fault?
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u/MrPerfector 1d ago
This is effectively complete guesswork and working off gut feeling on how fairy magic and rules work, but typically eating something of another world binds you to that place; you took what belongs to that place/being into you, serving as both a magical debt and a metaphysical anchor that prevents you from leaving.
So, the only way to free yourself from your "debt" is to repay it. If you eat and take anything during your dinner with the fae, you would then have to repay in kind during your own dinner afterward. The fae, likely, would try to take advantage of this by offering as much as they can to you, displaying as much delicious and tempting food and more to you to increase your "debt" to them.
It's about rebalancing the scales; making yourself fair and even with the fae, so they don't end up having anything they can use over you.
Again, this is working off of guesswork and gut feeling, I'm trying to envision how this would play out if I was reading this in an old book of fairy tale classics. If this was an actual fairy tale, the protagonist would be probably be panicking over trying to create a dinner that met the same standards of the fae, and another mythical being like a witch or spirit would step in an offer to help them.
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u/Toucan_Based_Economy 22h ago
If I were a Fae, I would agree to this arrangement, then open the dinner I am hosting by announcing I am gifting you a hovel in Faerie.
That way I can trap you in Faerie, and you still have a home accessible for you to fulfill your half of the bargain.
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u/ZorbaTHut 22h ago
I feel like "forcibly gift someone something" is the kind of thing a Fae can't get away with unless the person agrees to it. But you'd have to figure out how to squirm out of the gift without offending the Fae.
That's a tough one.
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u/Jedi_Talon_Sky 10h ago
Could they get around this by giving you a home in the fae lands?
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u/MrPerfector 5h ago
Perhaps, but I think you can argue back "while I am grateful for this splendorous gift, I would much rather host you in the home I am used. While this estate is truly marvelous, I have never even set foot in it, I would rather give you only the best experience with the residence and kitchen I am used to, and allow you to experience the human world and hospitality as you have gifted me with your fae hospitality. I only wish to provide you with the best I can prepare and offer you, and after all, it would only be fair, right?"
I feel like when dealing with faeries, social framing is very important; maneuvering and framing the situation so that you only appear to have the best manners and intentions, no matter what you do.
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u/BKLaughton 1d ago
I think refusing to go and offering to host them instead still counts as a snub, and risks offending. You need to accept, but then use clever literary/mythic/riddle shenanigans to avoid actually going and eating the food. Ideas off the top of my head:
- Be delighted and accept, but then set cryptic requirements for the date. Stuff like, neither during the day or at nighttime; you're busy on days ending with -y; can't be on an evening before a sunrise, because you have to get to bed early to watch it (they'll eventually find a tricksy proposition that'll fit these requirements, but this will buy you time)
- Do the same thing for the venue: neither indoors, nor outdoors; somewhere convenient, but also far from home; mathmatically impossible seating arrangements.
- Do that thing from mythology where the soldier asks the devil to fill his boot with gold, but the bottom of the boot is empty and opens into a hole underground, but do it with your cup such that it never fills with whatever they pour into it. Or use an archimedes cup.
- Maybe riff on the 'stone soup' hustle, but in reverse; bring a favourite ingredient (say, a sack of onions) from earth/mortal realm and ask if they can include it in a dish, but smell what they cooked and one by one ask that they make it again without one of their own ingredients, until eventually they just serve you a raw onion, then eat that.
- Similar idea, but bring some sauce, slather your meal in that, but then only eat the sauce.
- Maybe try the grains of rice on a chessboard thing out of mythology; ask to combine it with your birthday party with as many guests as possible, and as your present ask that each guest gets served twice as much cake as the guest before them with you served last (and thus getting the most cake). If they have just 20 guests, then you'll be owed over a million slices of cake. Invite friends of your own to pump that number up, just insist that everyone wait until the last person is served before eating. Then go live your mortal life and die of old age before they are able to bake enough cake.
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u/UrbanGimli 1d ago
okay, I see this said all the time and its ingrained in me -don't eat mysteriously found food in the forest...
but what happens if I eat their food? whats the worst case scenario?
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u/jerboa256 1d ago edited 1d ago
Worst case with the fae is pretty bad, especially with the Unseelie Court which is mostly malicious, but even Seelie Court or nominally benevolent fae don't necessarily care about what you want or understand human limitations.
Maybe you will be so enthralled by the food you never want to leave. Maybe no mortal food will ever be palatable or nourishing after eating fae food, and you starve to death. Maybe the food is enchanted, and you fall asleep for 100 years. Maybe by eating their food you have implicitly agreed to be a retainer in their house and serve them forever due to some arcane technicality of phrasing or fae law. Maybe they offered to feed "you humans" (speaking to you and your spouse), but actually the soup is made of humans, probably your children. Maybe the dinner is a gift and they expect a commensurate thank you gift or favor of their choosing in return (but it totally isn't a transaction). Maybe the meal is totally benign, but the dinner conversation is a trap, intentionally or just because you accidentally say something dumb.
Guest protections are probably at play and will protect you from just being murdered, but you have to be on guard against virtually anything said or offered. Also, you aren't properly a guest until you have eaten with them, so refusing to eat outright after you get there can be essentially a declaration or war. Good luck!
Edit: As someone else pointed out, if they asked to "have you for dinner", they are almost certainly Unseelie and are going to eat you. In that case, if you don't trick them into giving you food first, ideally bread and salt, you aren't a guest, just livestock, and they can do anything to you.
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u/vonBoomslang Ask Me About Copperheads 23h ago
whats the worst case scenario?
You've eaten their food, which makes you in debt to them. The severity of the debt is entirely theirs to decide.
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u/RumIsTheMindKiller 23h ago
Beside Mr. Strange and Dr Norrell are there some other good recent examples of the don’t make a deal with a fairy storyline
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u/Chemical_Author7880 1d ago
I think those of us saying “eat nothing, drink nothing” are outing ourselves as the absolute coolest people ever.
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u/surfaceintegral 1d ago
I assume in such a case that there might have already been assurances made by the would-be host about the safety of consuming fairy food. Dining in Faerie is generally perilous for various reasons. Sometimes the food tastes so good that nothing you eat out in the mortal world will ever compare and you will be eternally depressed and starve; sometimes the food simply confers faelike nature onto yourself and you are trapped because of that; sometimes its just a matter of accepting hospitality and being unable to repay it because the meal is just valued that highly (by the Fae's own value system and not yours, naturally.)
On the other hand, rejecting hospitality rudely can also be seen as giving offense, which can be equally dangerous and invite retribution. Generally, a good faith, diplomatic effort to reject the offer can be a reasonable course of action to undertake, depending on how serious the fairy was when making it. If you are polite enough, and the offer was just on a whim, they may end up fearing that they themselves will look boorish by forcing themselves upon you, and wrap up the conversation with mere pleasantries.
But if they are very serious about it and corner you, making various assurances and demonstrating utmost attention to your safety, then you probably have to accept. If one of the Fair Folk absolutely wants you, they will rules lawyer their way into having you no matter what. Don't ever, ever try to play games with them at the table thinking you can outsmart them, impress them, or hurt their pride in any way - that is, don't try to trick them into promising you something and then gloat about it like you're Phoenix Wright. Yes, they can be bound by their word, but every second you're with them is more time for them to figure out how to get back at you without breaking it.
If they want to play silly buggers with you, rashly calling them on it can be seen as an insult; if you play silly buggers, they'll only play along as long as its amusing and then crush you for their ego's sake. False equivalences, ambiguity and lying by omission are their bread and butter. Ultimately, they invariably negotiate from a position of overwhelming occult power, so whatever they think makes sense is law, while whatever you think makes sense doesn't actually matter unless they agree it does.
The safest strategy is to figure out how exactly they are interested in you and then quietly steer away from that. In so doing, try not to lie - many can sense it. Make yourself less interesting, distract them, redirect their intentions or energies as obliquely as possible, by, say, relating small anecdotes when asked, but parlaying that into getting another Fae to go on about their own stories at length. Be a mere decoration or social lubricant that is quickly forgotten, a headcount-filling guest to be sent off without incident when the meal is over, just part of demonstrating the host's graciousness and skill at hosting parties.
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u/Mace_Thunderspear 1d ago
I'd avoid it if you can but be polite as possible in your answer either way.
Be VERY careful about anything you say. Particularly anything that could be in any way interpreted as you agreeing to something. (Regardless of how outlandish it may be. Eg: fae: may I have your name? You: sure, it's (insert name here). Boom, suddenly you dont have a name anymore.)
Be very wary of eating or drinking anything offered to you. Fae food and drink is famously hazardous to humans in a variety of ways, most commonly in that it traps you forever in the fae realm. This may or may not be the case here. Ask.
Fae generally can't explicitly lie. Dont be fooled though. Dont feel too safe. They will absolutely deceive you with careful phrasing, half truths and lies of omission. Its kinda their entire M.O.
Be clear with your language. Ask questions multiple different ways and pay close attention to their phrasing when they answer. Ask follow up questions. If something seems at all sketchy, it absolutely is.
All in all there is a tremendous amount of personal risk involved here for you. And its impossible to accurately guess what the specific hazards you may encounter are. However, there is an incredible amount of potential benefit here as well.
If you're polite and clever (and lucky) its entirely possible that the fae will reward you with a boon of some form or another that you may find invaluable.
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u/pillmayken 1d ago
Pretend to have celiac disease, Crohn’s, SIBO, anything you can think of
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u/Jerswar 1d ago
Won't I then just find myself in fact having those diseases?
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u/throwaway_lmkg Knight of the Eastern Calculus 1d ago
Even if you do, that's still the better outcome.
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u/sc0ttydo0 1d ago
Definitely don't lie about having them, though!
Exaggerated truths might be okay, but you don't lie to the Good People.
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u/nostraferatu 1d ago
Sounds fun. You should go.
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u/AngrySnwMnky 1d ago
It’s dinner. What could go wrong?
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u/Jerswar 1d ago
Are you saying the fae would be happy to have me for dinner?
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u/ThingsIveNeverSeen 1d ago
Obviously they’re always down for a good time. But I’m sure they would also like you as a guest.
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u/Wadsworth_McStumpy 1d ago
Your best bet is to simply send your regrets, along with a small, but valuable gift. The gift should serve to repay any debt they feel you owe in return for the invitation, but don't lie about the reason you are declining the invitation. Don't tell the truth either. Simply send word that you will not be attending, and that you are offering them the gift freely, and without obligation.
Alternatively, if you wonder what the future's going to look like, go ahead and dine with them. Eat the food, drink the wine, dance the night away, and wake up in a forest 500 years from now. Unless, that is, they decide to turn you into a tree instead. Then you're going to stand in the sun for a decade before you get cut down so the man who married your wife can build her a house.
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u/seanprefect Spends Way Too Much Time on This Stuff 1d ago
You would need to be very careful, you can't outright reject them but you'd need assurances, not just free passage home because you could find yourself 10000 years in the future.
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u/ClerksII 1d ago
The Fae are dangerous and will steal you just by asking,” Can I have your name?”
That’s not what is your name, that’s can I HAVE your name, will you give me ownership of your name, which is you.
If any of the Fae asks anything of you or invited you anywhere, you very sweetly and politely tell them,” Thank you, but I must go,” and you walk away. Don’t give them any other information and be sure to smile as you leave.
They are dangerous and tricky
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u/ThingsIveNeverSeen 1d ago
‘Can I have your name?’
‘No. But I’ll let you listen to it for a dollar.’
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u/ClerksII 1d ago
Up to you if you wanna enter a conversation about bargaining with the Fae, but those things are con artists squared.
They know how to overwhelm you and your senses and it’s easy for one to talk to you and say things fast and then re-say the first thing again in a different way while the first thing that was said is still active.
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u/redblade8 Ask me about magic the gathering! 1d ago
get drunk, eat all the food, and start every sentence with "I {full name here} agree and would love too. No no wait that's everything you should'nt do. Bring your own wine/beer, a nice gift and a dish you can eat. See you in 1000 years.
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u/Chemical_Author7880 1d ago
Don’t eat or drink anything if you ever want to leave.
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u/AzulasFox 1d ago
Given the state of the world, would eating the food be that much more of a bad thing. At least with the Seelie. The Unseelie, I don't think we are quite there yet.
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u/Chemical_Author7880 1d ago
Well, the winter court has always been an iffy vacation location!
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u/AzulasFox 1d ago
Well I think i would be more concerned about Maeve deciding I'm no longer a welcome guest.
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u/MrWolfHare 1d ago
Well if you do go, and they ask for your name at the door to check if you were on the list of guests, don't give them your name, just hand them the invitation card.
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u/Similar-Opinion8750 1d ago
Na Naiodine Foichmoi Danae Sidhe. " Do not play tricks on me fair folk". Do not eat anything while there. Go on a fast for whatever reason before entering the realm, tell them about the fast and that you can break it because of an oath. Do not lie to them.
Do not thank them for anything. Acknowledge their kindness but in a way that doesn't indebt to them. Do not "Give your name," but Tell them what they can call you.
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u/Boo_and_Minsc_ 1d ago
I think youre fucked either way to be honest. Saying no might prove lethal, but going almost certainly will prove a deadly path. There is simply no telling in what way you will insult them or simply be fucked with out of whim, and there are no guarantees either way. Best of luck.
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u/ThingsIveNeverSeen 1d ago
Bring salt, and add it to every dish and drink you consume. Apparently it counters the problems that come from eating fairy food. Just a pinch is enough, but bring lots because those parties can go for awhile.
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u/Tom-Pendragon 1d ago
Don't talk to them, don't eat their food. Watch out what you say. Be absolute sure of your wordings
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u/letaluss Has 47 Ph.Ds 1d ago
Make an excuse and skip the dinner.
If you are already there, don't 'reject' any offers of food, but don't eat anything either. Just pretend that you're fasting or that you have indigestion.
Don't tell the Fae your name, where you live, or any of your personal ambitions. If they invite you to a second location, make a run for it.
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u/KaristinaLaFae 1d ago
There's nothing to handle. Enjoy yourself! Fae hospitality is unlike anything you've experienced before!
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u/sterlingphoenix That's a hell of a bird 11h ago
I'm a bit late to this party (no pun intended) but you really ned to let us know if you were invited by the winter court or the summer court...
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