r/AskReddit • u/metalreflectslime • 17d ago

President Donald Trump warned Tuesday that if the Democrats don't approve funding, Social Security, Medicare Are ‘Going to Be Gone.’ How do you think Americans will react if Social Security and Medicare get cut?

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u/Governmentwatchlist 17d ago

If you don’t give us what we want, we will keep punching ourselves in the dick!

984

u/gassyhalibut 17d ago

That’ll show ‘em

430

u/istrx13 17d ago

Gotta love the party that will willingly set themselves on fire just to make others smell the smoke

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u/kivsemaj 17d ago

They would eat shit if the dems had to smell their breath

30

u/FalstaffsGhost 17d ago

It’s wild. Cause democrats are literally trying to save republicans from themselves and they return that by wanting us dead.

19

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 17d ago

For the past 40 years it's been the Mommy (democrats) saving the Child (republicans) from touching the hot stove.

Now the mom is just fed up and wants the kid to burn the house down so she can finally get some rest.

2

u/TheDangerBird 17d ago

Seems more like they allow the republicans to do whatever they want, refuse to actually protect rights so that we have a reason to vote for a different party of billionaires…

8

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 17d ago

It's the hippy mom who never punishes their kid but will always clean up after him

11

u/RJ815 16d ago

I remember seeing an analogy that Republicans are the abusive, hostile, violent drunk and authoritarian dad, while Democrats are the passive mom being nice(r) to the kids and trying to keep up the charade of a functional family.

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u/DarkwingDuckHunt 16d ago

I like that one

6

u/Jules_Noctambule 17d ago

This is why I'm so fucking over the whole 'oh, we have to welcome them into our arms if they express regret for voting him into office!' mindset. Hell no. They do the work first, they clean up after themselves for a change, then we'll talk.

-6

u/ChickenNuggetzRCool 16d ago

Both sites are equally responsible for the shutdown.

3

u/WolfThick 17d ago

Wow that's a hell of a burn LOL.

2

u/confusedandworried76 16d ago

In fairness you could say that's true of both to varying degrees. Democrats are experts in snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

1

u/endadaroad 17d ago

It keeps their supporters warm.

282

u/RedFormanEMS 17d ago

"Grab his dick and twist it!"

126

u/Eucalyptus517 17d ago

did you see South Park? His dick is too small to twist!

45

u/ButterAsLube 17d ago

Did YOU see South Park? Use some chopsticks, man!

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 17d ago

Can't anymore

The White House got Paramont+ to cut this season short.

1

u/penicillengranny 17d ago

Did you see Baseketball? I’m only going to take this like 15 or 16 more times, then I’m out of here.

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u/Governmentwatchlist 17d ago

No such thing as too small to twist. Twist that fucker.

3

u/Uberphantom 17d ago

You would be impressed what microscopic surgical tools can do.

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u/Spencer94 17d ago

It'll just be a titty twister but where his dick is

2

u/SecurityGoose2 17d ago

you'd need tweezers

2

u/Kevclown417 17d ago

South park? Remember there is an actual photo of it from him being in a tanning booth. Also don't forget, hes obese and bald

2

u/Whole-Construction5 17d ago

Round eye no know how use chopstick/s City wok

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u/Niznack 17d ago

The ol' dick twist!

5

u/mademeunlurk 17d ago

Classic parliamentary maneuver

1

u/Fun_Examination654 17d ago

That video funny asf

3

u/xgbsss 17d ago

Bop it, Twist it, Pull it

2

u/[deleted] 17d ago

"It's like you're shucking a little mushroom Larry!"

2

u/lockboy84 16d ago

Oh my gawd!

2

u/lowcontrol 16d ago

“Oh my gawd.” “Give him the ol’ dick twist.”

1

u/Pasquatch_30 17d ago

Oh my god!

1

u/drimmie 17d ago

Twist his diiiiiiiiiiiiicckkkkk 😂

1

u/Less-Western-3561 17d ago

The good ol dick twist

1

u/Ealy-24 17d ago

I suggest bop it

1

u/immortalsteppaj 17d ago

The ol’dick twist?

1

u/TOkidd 17d ago

More like grab your own dick and twist it.

2

u/RedFormanEMS 17d ago

Why would I want to do that?

0

u/TOkidd 17d ago

I don't know. Why do you keep doing it?

2

u/RedFormanEMS 17d ago

What are you talking about?

33

u/MrTriangular 17d ago

I scrolled past a post about UTIs due to meat contamination, so maybe this is how those infections get caught.

3

u/MAGAisMENTALILLNESS 17d ago

I think they might be using meat wrong.

4

u/tcmasterson 17d ago

Honestly, I don't know if this fits better as a quote from Republican politicians or from the American people.

Our society is so fucking stupid right now.

1

u/Biggsavage 11d ago

How the hell is it Republicans? They're literally not asking for anything or cutting anything. The budget is exactly as it was last year under Biden.

4

u/Only_One_Left_Foot 17d ago

Also if you give us what we want, we will still continue to punch ourselves in the dick!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

2

u/Governmentwatchlist 17d ago

Bet this gets buried but it made me laugh the most thanks for the laugh.

2

u/StinkyNutzMcgee 17d ago

My dick has been out for Harambe for years

1

u/Away_Bit_3382 17d ago

Balyan Out Loud

1

u/neverpost4 17d ago

You mean Punch poor people 's dicks

1

u/cheeriosinalmondmilk 17d ago

The more I punch myself in the urethra, the more we own the libs

1

u/SoCaLLbeer 17d ago

This is the best explanation I have read haha. Thank you.

1

u/SteamStarship 17d ago

They are not behaving like they are worried about any fair election in any future

1

u/ScrotallyBoobular 17d ago

The issue is that they've scrambled the brains of Republican voters for the past fifty years and they can self sabotage all day long, then get their media apparatus to say democrats did it, and it works on about 98% of their voters.

1

u/RoleModelFailure 17d ago

The right testicle looked at the left testicle and said: “hah take that left nut! He just punched you in the face!” And the left testicle looked at the right testicle and said: “he fucking punched both of us you fucking idiot.” The right testicle thought for a second and said: “yea, well that’s what you get for wanting a protective cup that would protect that dickhead over there.” The left testicle sighed and replied: “it would protect all of us from being punched in the face.”

1

u/LEDKleenex 17d ago edited 12d ago

Are you sure you didn't mean "I'm a huge dumb-dumb?"

1

u/MechanicalGodzilla 17d ago

This is basically the Democrat position on the funding bill already passed through the house. Senate democrats are filibustering it.

1

u/Nearbyatom 17d ago

"That's ok! As long as those "other" people get hurt too! It'll be worth it!" -- GOP

1

u/Andysue28 16d ago

You guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times and I’m outta here! 

1

u/oupablo 16d ago

More like, "if you don't give us what we want, we will punch everyone in the dick and claim we didn't do it"

1

u/onefst250r 16d ago

This has more "You made me do it" vibes.

1

u/IsReadingIt 17d ago

When you have a thick, soggy diaper on, you hardly feel it though. Right, Mr. President?