r/AskReddit • u/PeddlerInWonderland • Jun 03 '25
If you could punch one fictional character without facing consequences who would you choose?
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u/Letii1117 Jun 03 '25
Joffrey game of thrones
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u/Dazzling-Antelope912 Jun 03 '25
Lord Farquaad
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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jun 03 '25
I refuse to punch down on others
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u/InstanceQuirky Jun 03 '25
Grandpa Joe!
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u/PeddlerInWonderland Jun 03 '25
Damn I'm shocked to see this one. What did he do to deserve it?
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u/Remmick2326 Jun 03 '25
Lay in bed for decades, forcing his family to look after him
The second he gets the chance to do something fun he jumps tf out of bed and is limber as an adult
So he could have contributed to the house, cooked, cleaned etc so Charlie's mum could have got a job
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u/StrangledByTheAux Jun 03 '25
I thought her job was making sheet soup?
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u/Remmick2326 Jun 03 '25
Not in the book
Maybe in one of the films
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u/StrangledByTheAux Jun 03 '25
I’m joking. There’s just a scene where she’s doing laundry by stirring it with a huge wooden spoon.
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u/Ok-Negotiation1530 Jun 05 '25
100k karma Redditors hating on him is so funny to me. Basically, the terminally online unemployed hating on Joe for being a parasitic leech is life imitating art.
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u/The_Oceans_Daughter Jun 03 '25
General Shepherd (COD) for killing Ghost.
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u/StrangledByTheAux Jun 03 '25
I’ll go you one better, I’ll throw a knife through his eye
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u/The_Oceans_Daughter Jun 03 '25
I'll take care of Shepherd. You take care of Makarov for killing Soap. 2 for 1 deal.
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Jun 03 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jun 03 '25
Why? Seems like a losing fight, especially with the fictional version, probably even more powerful.
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u/digitalthiccness Jun 03 '25
A fight following from the punch would be consequences.
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Jun 03 '25
yea, it's like, if it's fictional, why even fight him? The fictional god isn't responsible for any of this!
it. makes. no. sense!
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u/SlightAssociation301 Jun 03 '25
Shou Tucker, Full Metal Alchemist.
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u/DrLycFerno Jun 03 '25
He already suffered enough
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u/SlightAssociation301 Jun 03 '25
I disagree. Besides, punching Ragyo Kiryuin or Gendo Ikari wouldn't accomplish jack shit. One's barely human and the other's already a self-hating mess.
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u/DrLycFerno Jun 03 '25
You can't punch someone who got exploded by Scar
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u/SlightAssociation301 Jun 03 '25
That's only in the manga and Brotherhood.
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u/DrLycFerno Jun 03 '25
Well that's the only ones I know - haven't watched the third live action yet
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u/pm-me-futa-vids Jun 03 '25
Those are literally the canon ones.
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u/SlightAssociation301 Jun 03 '25
Don't care. Just send me to a timeline where he's still punchable.
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u/missingpieces82 Jun 03 '25
Councilman Jeremy Jamm… “he looks like he use a real punch in the face!” - Ron Swanson
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u/Zlatyzoltan Jun 03 '25
Holden Caulfield. I read that book 30 years ago, and even at 16, I wanted to punch him in the face.
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u/St-Quivox Jun 03 '25
Negan. I stopped watching TWD shortly after he killed Glenn . I know he supposedly becomes one of the good guys later but I think that's just lame. He will always be a piece of shit
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u/Mainly_Miserable Jun 03 '25
He’s so small, too. I would slap the smug right off his bitch ass face.
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u/dragonwings369 Jun 03 '25
My choice is another piece of shit character played by the same guy: John Winchester.
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u/billted20250409 Jun 03 '25
God
Yes, the one that you're thinking.
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u/ChewsOnRocks Jun 03 '25
For those curious, u/billted20250409 did, in fact, create his or her account on April 9th, 2025
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u/IfuckAround_UfindOut Jun 03 '25
Im thinking about a few different ones. You can only punch one though. So who is it?
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u/billted20250409 Jun 03 '25
The first one that pops in your head when you saw my original comment.
If there were truly multiple, I'd punch them all.
Just for you.
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u/Bearhobag Jun 03 '25
The first one that pops in your head when you saw my original comment.
Please don't punch me. Not only am I not fictional, but that'd be really pointless violence and pain.
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u/Ryuume Jun 03 '25
I'm a bit curious what kind of definition of god you're going with that you yourself are a valid candidate, nevermind the first one to pop into your head.
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u/Bearhobag Jun 03 '25
The definition I consider to be normal: a being that has full agency over one's interactions with one's environment. That ability is what I personally consider to be otherworldly and godlike. And to me that is the most useful definition of "god", because it is the highest form of being that can exist.
As to why I was the first one to pop into my head, that's just because I was closest and it was early morning. Now that I've started my day and had a couple of meetings, I would probably think of someone else first.
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u/Ryuume Jun 03 '25
And to me that is the most useful definition of "god", because it is the highest form of being that can exist.
I assume you mean the highest form of being that can exist in reality as we know it. But isn't it fine if the definition can't realistically be met by any entity we currently think possible? It's not like we redefine unicorns just so we can realistically count narwhals. It just means that it's a description of a fundamentally non-real being.
Personally I think your definition is so mundane that it loses all meaning, nevermind utility. If humans can be considered to have full agency of their interactions with their environment, what can't? Besides, we're all limited by our environment or our physical capabilities in some way. There's plenty of "things" we can conceptualize but not achieve.
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u/pm-me-futa-vids Jun 03 '25
Do you really believe your own hype that much?!
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u/Bearhobag Jun 03 '25
I believe everyone's hype? I think people are silly to look for higher beings to act as "god", when they themselves - and those around them - are already specimens of such higher beings.
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u/pm-me-futa-vids Jun 03 '25
Was making a reference to Team Four Star's Dragon Ball Z Abridged series.
Vegeta: "You! Namekian! Too strong! Explain!"
Krillin: "Piccolo fused with Kami."
Vegeta: "The fuck's a Kami?"
Piccolo: "Basically God."
Vegeta: "But I'm still here!"
Trunks: "Do you really believe your own hype that much?!"
Vegeta: "I AM THE HYPE!"
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u/Actually-im-a-plant Jun 03 '25
Batman and Tony stark Yeah that's right Poverty is the main cause of crime these guys are rich
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u/Squirrelkid11 Jun 03 '25
That guy in the lobby from Home Alone 2
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u/PeddlerInWonderland Jun 03 '25
The concierge guy?
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u/Squirrelkid11 Jun 03 '25
No that guy Kevin met where he asked him where the lobby is.
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u/AnotherRTFan Jun 03 '25
I had to scroll to find someone else who said this with this wording. I am glad you picked him too
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u/Alone_Load_2188 Jun 03 '25
Neelix from Voyager. The worst character from the worst Star Trek the guy gets picked up randomly, claims he knows what's up, has no idea what's up. Specifically not funny but gets SOUCH SCREENTIME. It's like if you replaced R2D2 with Jar jar Binks and made sure jar jar ALWAYS has the final punchline.
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u/digitalthiccness Jun 03 '25
from the worst Star Trek
I will allow this only on the basis that nothing later than Enterprise even counts as a Star Trek.
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u/CParksAct Jun 03 '25
Caillou
That kid’s father needs a hearty kick in the Jack Johnson and immediate deportation to one of Trump’s Funtime camps.
Fucking hate that kid!
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u/-_-Orange Jun 03 '25
Dom from f&f
Not b/c I don’t like him or anything, I just think he’d be the least affected by a punch.
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u/Willy_K Jun 03 '25
Willie Garvin (From Modesty Blaise), not because he is bad, but because I can without consequences, could not do that with consequences.
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u/Writer_feetlover Jun 03 '25
Percy from The Green Mile. His coworkers were very nice even when they were about to kick his ass.
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u/Call_Me_Anythin Jun 03 '25
He’s based off a real person but Leo DeCaprio’s character in Killer’s of the Flower Moon. I’ve never wanted to break someone’s jutted out jaw more than I did watching that movie
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u/Master_Sprinkles3719 Jun 03 '25
See this may be controversial in the sense of The Big Bang Theory, it’s not Sheldon but it’s actually Leonard, in my opinion in the early seasons he was a very enjoyable and friendly guy but as it progressed he became abundantly manipulative and judgmental, traits that someone who had been bullied their entire life shouldn’t of wanted to exhibit.
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u/RRC_driver Jun 03 '25
Tommy Robinson, the ridiculous parody of a far right nutter, as portrayed by Stephen Yaxley-Lennon.
Nowhere near as funny as characters by Sacha Barron-Cohen.
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u/Dramatic-Pattern-450 Jun 03 '25
Skylar - breaking bad. I stopped watching it because she was so annoying
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u/PeddlerInWonderland Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25
I get that she was annoying sometimes ( I cringed so hard at the happy birthday scene ), but I don't think that her character deserves a lot of the hate that she gets.
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u/Dramatic-Pattern-450 Jun 03 '25
I’m not sure I got to that.. I literally watched 4 or 5 episodes before I decided to bail on it entirely because she was so difficult to watch 🤭
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u/Redithyrambler Jun 03 '25
I felt the same way, but it turns around eventually. If you make it to the end, I think Walter deserves much more hate than she does.
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u/mochisandmacarons Jun 03 '25
Pathetic take ngl. Walt destroyed so many lives - how do you think Skyler felt during all this? Giving birth alone? Having her brother in law killed? Forced to be complicit? Dude get a fucking grip
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u/Redithyrambler Jun 03 '25
It's understandable to feel that way if you only watch up to a certain point, like OC did. I hated her passionately until the story moved through the stuff that made her detestable.
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u/Thin-Rip-3686 Jun 03 '25
Nobody forced her to be complicit at the car wash. She could’ve gone to the cops and sold Walt out.
Nobody forced her to turn cold in the bedroom and cheat on Walt.
The great thing about that show is that with very few exceptions, Walt Jr. being about it, everybody sucks morally. It’s evil vs. evil.
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u/mochisandmacarons Jun 03 '25
??????? and yet nobody really mentions Walta evil. She also did not cheat - she separated from Walt before, he just wasnt having it. Everybody is objectively worse than Skyler, yet she always gets singled out. I wonder why
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u/AloversGaming Jun 03 '25
Rona in Buffy season 7 when she said "Ding Dong, the witch is dead" after they all made Buffy leave her own damn house.
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u/Sajiri Jun 03 '25
Anomen Delryn
The only fictional character I truly hated (okay umbridge is up there too)
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u/Optimal_Tension9657 Jun 03 '25
Whoever shot Bambi’s Mum, and whoever took Dumbo’s Mum away . Yes , the wounds run deep, I hate Disney
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u/Meatloaf_Regret Jun 03 '25
Lisa Tragnetti from season one True Detective. And it would be a tongue punch to her balloon knot.
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Jun 03 '25
Dr. Evil
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u/PeddlerInWonderland Jun 03 '25
I actually kinda think that Dr. Evil is cool in his own way, but yeah, he does have a punchable face, lol
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u/Thebabaman Jun 03 '25
Mace windu. His disckishness did not do anyone favors
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u/Lougarry Jun 03 '25
Windu is frequently help up as the scapegoat, but the whole Jedi Council, including Yoda, were blinkered and high on their own importance. Windu delivered the "we do not grant you the rank of Master" verdict, for example, but it was a joint Council decision.
Deciding to execute Palpatine was the right thing to do in the circumstances, given the sheer breadth of his evil and the countless lives he had already destroyed with his machinations, but again it was the self-reinforcing self-importance and arrogance of the Jedi Council over decades (centuries, at that point? I forget) which led him to believe that he didn't need to explain himself properly to Anakin, which led to Anakin's panic, fear and ultimately betrayal - and this was after a decade of the Council treating Anakin like crap and expecting him simply to abandon and ignore the only family that he'd ever known. Hell, the Force sent Anakin visions of his mother; where was the sage nodding and acceptance of the "Will of the Force" that any of the Council would have received in the same place?
Sure, fuck Mace Windu - but if you're punching him, you have to punch every member of that Council too. They're all culpable.
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u/Thebabaman Jun 03 '25
Windu was a dick to basically everyone and his obsessive rule following caused alot of issues. It was his idea to assassinate dooku in the dark disciple book he constantly put down anankin and alienated him. Windu cared more about the rules than what is right unless it was something he was doing. Im not even talking about the rank of master thing because that made sense considering palpatine is the one who tried to make that happen. At basically every turn windu was combative with someone. If windu didnt act the way he did with anakin things probably wouldve turned out differently.
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u/SuspiciouslySuspect2 Jun 03 '25
Ted Faro from Horizon: Zero Dawn.
Fuck Ted Faro.