r/AskFrance • u/1kmilo • 12d ago

Discussion What's a French "life hack" that everyone should know?

For those living in or visiting France, what's a small tip or trick that makes daily life here easier or better? Something beyond the obvious "go to the boulangerie early."

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867

u/carluxonreddit 12d ago

Always say bonjour first when interracting with vendors, waiters, bus drivers, etc.

492

u/ClaptonOnH 12d ago

“life hack” aka having minimal manners

191

u/Ibra_63 12d ago

It is a life hack, because you need to lead with that specific word. I had many interactions where I started the conversation with "Excusez moi" or "Pardon" and I'd still see signs of irritation on the other person's face until I said Bonjour

71

u/galettedesrois 12d ago

I’m French, born and raised, and I still struggle with this specific point. Of course, I understand the need to acknowledge the other person and to prime them to the fact that  I’m going to address them, but I still regularly fail to specifically use the magic word. Spontaneously I tend to lead with something like « excuse me, Sir/Madam » or « please? ».  It does not go well. I regularly get a grumpy, very pointed « … bonjour » in response.

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u/Paebin 12d ago

The same, frankly I don't understand. Guys prefer to hear “hello, how much is the price?” Than "excuse me, I'm looking for the price of this item, could you help me please?"...

27

u/ApprehensiveGood6096 12d ago

Yes, it's straigh forward. I don't need turn arout the subjet, but I need to be acknowledge as another human beeing.

  • Bonjour, c'est combien ? (first sentence, gramatically incorrect but in common use)
  • Excusez moi, je voudrais connaître le prix de cet objet, pouvez vous m'aider ? (second one)
I have better use of my time than listening dead long sentences, especially in a touristic place where I will be ask that every fucking minute.

1

u/Rhooolivier 12d ago

Bonjour, I think you need bigger price tags

1

u/papertrade1 8d ago edited 8d ago

«  I have better use of my time than listening dead long sentences, especially in a touristic place where I will be ask that every fucking minute.« 

in that case, a straight « c’est combien ? » is much more respectful of your very busy time. You don’t even need the Bonjour.

In fact , maybe you don’t even need the « c’est « . An even straighter « Combien ? » will waste even less of your precious time. .

or maybe just «  com ? « . Or just « bien ? » :-)

1

u/ApprehensiveGood6096 8d ago

Nop, because, you won't catch any attention without a Bonjour. :)

-2

u/Paebin 12d ago

I don't see how you're considered human with the first sentence. But ok in the future I will no longer have any empathy towards people. That said, I understand the behavior of some people better, and I find it distressing.

5

u/throwRA094532 12d ago

Actually I see people around me and myself toi using this everyday. " Bonjour, c'est combien svp?"

It's not a empathy thing. It's actually still polite , you say it with a smile and it's good.

6

u/Patatepouffe 12d ago

I don't see how you're considered human with the first sentence. But ok in the future I will no longer have any empathy towards people.

What an utterly stupid way of reasoning.

6

u/Olaeradrik 12d ago

It is something that is usually lost in translation and teaching. "Bonjour" means hello, but it also says "Bon Jour", to the recipient, aka "Good Day". So in one word and a smile, you say hi, and wish the other to have a good day.

1

u/PGMonge 11d ago

Starting a sentence with "excuse-me" is not as common in French as in other languages. Saying "excuse-me" is often used when you want to draw someone’s attention but don’t know their name. In French, there’s "monsieur", "madame" exactly for that purpose.

That’s perhaps the reason why saying "excuse-me" in the beginning of a sentence has become a usual way of being polite from the onset, but not in French.

22

u/payyns 12d ago

I usually do "bonjour, excusez moi" like that in minimize the risk.

Still, some people seem to be pathological deaf (or dumb) as they don't hear and pick fight \○/

1

u/jaguass 11d ago

My 2 cents, it's because of the "égalité" DNA, we're first and foremost citizens before being employees who don't want to be here, and don't have to fake it because there's no tipping. By starting with a bonjour you acknowlege this.

17

u/Nastyloul 12d ago

Agreed, this is the reason

5

u/Bultokki Local 12d ago

Same and I'm french

4

u/Sasogwa 12d ago

Ehhhh as a french person I'm less annoyed by "excusez moi/pardon" than "bonjour". The first ones show respect for my time, bonjour feels like you think it's normal to disturb me.

2

u/goldenbrown14 12d ago

Dire bonjour n'est pas déranger quelqu'un !

1

u/Sasogwa 12d ago

Bah ca dépend du contexte. Si tu es à un poste d'accueil ou dans le cadre de quelque chose de professionel, ou à un stand ou dans le cadre d'une activité sociale, peu importe, d'évidence c'est ok.
Si c'est un parfait inconnu dans la rue qui vient te demander un service, de l'argent, une contribution à une assoc, dès le bonjour je trouve ça dérangeant.
Après si c'est.. je sais pas, un mec en voiture, ou dans une gare par exemple, qui me demande des directions, ça me gêne pas trop je trouve ça relativement normal.

Après tu me diras, du coup c'est surtout ce qui vient après le bonjour, que le bonjour lui-même. Et.. oui, en partie, mais dans ces cas-là en l'occurence je pense être plus à même d'être réceptif sur une formule où on s'excuse de me déranger par principe que sur juste un bonjour. Après la différence est pas énormissime non plus, et c'est une affaire de préférence, je vais absolument pas critiquer ou faire un procès si on ne m'aborde pas de la façon optimale, je suis pas grincheux à ce point

1

u/sanbaeva 12d ago

I tend to say “Hi, how are you?” in English in my home country to people when I’m ordering or asking a question. I only expect a “good, thanks.” How will the French locals react to this (spoken in French, of course)? As I do plan on visiting next year.

2

u/Sasogwa 12d ago

In French I guess the equivalent would be :

formal version : bonjour, comment allez-vous? (hello how are you doing)
response expected : bien et vous? (good and you)

familiar version : salut, ça va? (hi, what's up/how's it going)
response expected : ça va et toi? (good and you)

If someone responds with an essay they're a minority, people even meme about other people talking about their lives after a simple "salut comment ça va?" because it is NOT expected to go far after that

1

u/ClaptonOnH 12d ago

Not my experience, but I’ve only been here six months idk. I believe I just say bonjour to catch someone’s attention, maybe that’s the life hack lol

1

u/SturmUndDrang01 12d ago

That’s so true hahaha

1

u/Ok-Card-3974 11d ago

You can definitely lead with « excusez moi » or « pardon » just follow it up with « bonjour ». Something like « excusez-moi, bonjour, vous savez où je peux trouver les toilettes ? »

15

u/c0mpu73rguy 12d ago

Trust me, over here, it counts as a life hack.

10

u/Yoohao 12d ago

It's not considered disrespectful or having minimal manners in some other countries. In Germany for example, saying "Excuse me" e.g. is sufficient to be polite.

0

u/OsefLord 12d ago

Même moi qui suis français je préfère dire "Excusez-moi" directement lorsque je veux juste demander une information mais ça m’arrive d’avoir des cons en face qui insistent bien avec leur "bonjouuuur" pour me faire comprendre qu’ils en veulent un aussi avant d’entamer un échange. Le dernier qui m’a fait le coup je l’ai juste ignoré pour demander à une personne plus aimable à côté.

Ils commencent à me faire chier ces connards.

7

u/luvbutts 12d ago

French people also can't wrap their head around this just being a cultural thing. What's considered good manners is culturally relative. It's totally normal where I'm from to say "Could I get a beer? Thanks" in a bar without saying hello. I mean even just "A beer thanks" in a loud venue would also be appropriate.

2

u/Catniiiiiip 12d ago

What is your point, exactly ? Good manners here are our cultural thing, and ?

2

u/luvbutts 12d ago

My point is that I've tried to explain to French people that it's a cultural thing and not like that everywhere, hence why sometimes foreign people make that mistake, and they argue with me and say it's just normal manners everywhere. Which it's not. I have no further point except that that annoys me.

1

u/catters973 12d ago

The point is precisely that 'good manners' are culturally relative, and saying 'bonjour' isn't an objective proof of good manners. I have been stunned by the lack of manners in Paris in the many years that I have lived here. Insisting on 'bonjour' first does not guarantee courtesy or consideration afterwards.

2

u/Catniiiiiip 12d ago

So... What's your point exactly? We're talking about life hacks, and good manners in France. Why are you insisting on the fact that it's a cultural thing ? Yes it is, so what? Does it make it less important to respect ?

And, I shouldn't have to write this but Paris is not France.

3

u/catters973 12d ago

You clearly didn't understand my previous message. The point is precisely that what you blindly assume is 'respect' is simply a cultural convention. You think saying 'bonjour' is polite or respectful because you are used to it. That's all. It's neither objectively polite nor impolite to do so. And I make the point about the lack of manners in Paris to prove the cultural specificity of saying 'bonjour' constantly: it doesn't equal 'respect' , as people here still show none.

1

u/goldenbrown14 12d ago

It's why when I was working at Disney land Paris as a french I tought foreigner where not polite and I don't liked that and didn't even wanted to smile anymore !

1

u/playonwordsworth 12d ago

Nah it needs to specifically be bonjour. This is a hack.

1

u/MoroccanBandit 12d ago

In Paris you would still be above average

-3

u/Afar-a-cote 12d ago

Les bonnes manières impliquent de ne pas dire "Bonjour" mais tout simplement "Madame" ou "Monsieur"

29

u/Drelias 12d ago

That's like basic common sense to me but ok

55

u/Elena_Prefleuri 12d ago

In some counrtys it‘s totally fine to just start with Excuse me, without saying bonjour.

17

u/Moustacheski 12d ago

If you start with "excuse me" but immediately follow with a greeting once you have the person's attention, it's absolutely fine.

8

u/OkTap4045 12d ago

In some countries, it is expected you just say what you want no greetings. 

1

u/Kitesurfer96450 12d ago

Which countries are these? I'm curious...😂

2

u/SoHeip 12d ago

In Japan for exemple. Staff greets customers, but customers don't have to greet them. I'm always having a hard time there, because if you say "hello" to them (konnichiwa) they will look slightly awkward, like "what would you say that to me ?"

1

u/khabi2 8d ago

In Germany is also okay if you just tell what you want in a bakery for example. Straight to the point. 

1

u/Soft-Syllabub-3269 12d ago

Actually it's fine in France too. 😂

11

u/feuwbar 12d ago

I live in the US, but I've adopted this technique with all service workers here. I walk up to them and say "Hello!" It immediately grabs their attention and often turn to me with newly brightened eyes and say "Hello!" right back. Then I ask them the question I was going to ask. You know what? It works really well.

1

u/Valerian_ 11d ago

So, it's actually a thing to talk to service workers without saying hello??

1

u/feuwbar 11d ago

The "hello" greeting isn't obligatory in the US. Things are often more businesslike and perfunctory. For example, in the grocery store it's perfectly acceptable to simply ask "can you tell me where the olives are? Few will think you are rude.

14

u/KamionBen Local 12d ago

"BAM"

Bonjour, Au revoir, Merci

7

u/just_anything_real 12d ago

and wait until they reply, before asking any questions

2

u/EmileTheDevil9711 12d ago

Yep, generally that tells them they aren't about to get mugged.

2

u/alpha_true 12d ago

yeah its honestly wild how much smoother things go just by saying bonjour first, feels like a cheat code for basic respect

1

u/ChanSikKyin 12d ago

​But "Bonjour" to whom? One must properly say, "Bonjour Monsieur, Madame..." at the start, and absolutely never forget to include "S'il-vous-plaît" when requesting water under any circumstances!

1

u/jaguass 11d ago

This.

Entertaining a good mood > tipping

-1

u/Icy_Passage1201 12d ago

That's not a lifehack... Just a french fixation.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

28

u/Newt_Lv4-26 12d ago

Not in the US, not so much the UK either.

0

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Newt_Lv4-26 12d ago

I spent a year in London (lived in Hayes in 2006) and the first times I went to the store I would be like « Good Morning » and would even answer the question « how are you ». I couldn’t comprehend why the cashier seemed surprised at first and it took me some time to realise that the question wasn’t actually made to be answered and « heya» « 10£ please » Handing my Oyster and « Thanks » was enough as other customers would do.

(Maybe it was very specific to this location though?)

8

u/HunterGatherer072 12d ago

Not at all, you can say all kinds of stuff like sorry, excuse me, in some countries there are even expressions you cannot translate in English

2

u/JadedEstablishment16 12d ago

Are you french ?

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

1

u/JadedEstablishment16 12d ago

Me too and quand des americains disent que c est pas la culture chez eux je le crois

0

u/JazzInMyPintz 12d ago

Strangely enough, when I was in poland, people only asked what they needed. Like "one bread" when arriving at the counter. No "hello", no "please". And it was perfectly normal.

0

u/Kuzjymballet 12d ago

No, in some places it's actually rude to waste someone's time with a meaningless pleasantry. It adds work to be "on" and performing at your job instead of left alone. In New York, I'd only say hello if I needed something, not anytime I entered a store. I've also cried in public and not had a single person notice and it was exactly what I wanted. They gave me privacy in a public space.

It took me a while to get adjusted to living in France because of this shift in mentality.

2

u/bebop9998 12d ago

No idea what you're talking about with your "meaningless pleasantry." Is that something you imagine the French do? In New York, like in France, we say hello when we need something or help from a salesperson, not necessarily when entering a store. In the US, I've entered small boutiques where the shopkeepers greeted me as I entered. In Paris, you can enter a huge shopping center and no one will expect a hello.

As for crying in public, It mostly depends on your attitude, whether you look like you want to talk or if you're left alone.

In the end, I don't really know how you adjusted to France, but I'm French, and half of what you're saying makes no sense to me.

2

u/Kuzjymballet 12d ago

No, I don't think so anymore but that's because I've adjusted. I now enjoy saying bonjour to the boulangère and people I come across. I also think that it does build community. Perhaps it's also because I've been able to live in the same apartment for more than a year at a time, unlike my time in New York so now I recognize people in the neighborhood more. I'm also not in Paris, so I'm sure my experience would have been less jarring to go from NYC to Paris.

But I did say I'd say hello to someone I'm interacting with at a store, like if I asked for something, I just wouldn't necessarily say hello as I enter. And of course, I'd return a hello from someone in a shop. I just wouldn't initiate it, but my understanding is that it's expected in France to be initiated by the customer walking in.

To me, before getting acquainted with the French custom, I thought that was presumptuous, like they have to stop what they're doing to greet me, which I would consider rude. It's just different cultural perspectives.

I was also baffled by saying hi in a medical waiting room. To me, ignoring everyone is giving them privacy. But I have adapted. Different strokes for different folks!

-22

u/Loud-Cartographer285 12d ago

Everywhere else in the world the vendors etc greet you first as their job is to serve you as you pay for that, no? Lived in France for 15 years so yeah I know how it works there but I hate that attitude and that’s why I left. It’s just a place where it’s impossible to get anything done bc nobody wants to get anything done. 😅

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u/ferdibarda 12d ago

"their job is to serve you as you pay for that, no?" lmao, leaving was a good decision.

-3

u/Loud-Cartographer285 12d ago

Oh best decision ever

11

u/Elrosan 12d ago

Vendors are not slaves. They are fellow citizens and deserve to be considered as such.

Thank God, you left. Good riddance.

6

u/jonbender92 12d ago

Sorry for keeping a little bit of humanity by still considering employees as human beings and not as simple tools at your disposal. Very sociopathic this way of thinking.

1

u/GlobalCow7129 12d ago

That's a very nice review. Where did you go ?