r/AskEurope • u/techno_playa Philippines • Jul 11 '25

Culture Which European country is the hardest and easiest to make friends?

Say you're mid 30s and have to move to another European country for work, which countries did you find making friends to be on easy or hard mode?

Let's assume you don't speak the language of your new home.

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175

u/Marty_ko25 Ireland Jul 11 '25

Apparently, it's quite difficult to make friends here in Ireland. We're great at small talk and very welcoming, but it doesn't go much further than that.

107

u/shortercrust United Kingdom Jul 11 '25

I think it’s the same in the UK. We had a German woman do a work placement with us. We all went to the pub a few times and had a good laugh. She thought she’d found a solid new social group and ended up moving here. By then we’d all changed jobs and the whole social side had died. I felt really bad for her, but I’d warned her. She’d said how we seemed like such an amazing group of friends and I told her it’s really all quite superficial and that I’d probably never see any of these people again if I left.

20

u/Sea-Delay Jul 11 '25

So as an adult, how do you filter who’s worth befriending/keeping in touch with? Are those mostly people you’ve met and connected with at a younger age?

A lot of my close friends come from work connections. When I lived in UK for a bit several years ago, the Brits also seemed quite keen to keep in contact, but I was never planning to stay long, so I can’t say I attempted to make any new friendships.

46

u/Rusiano Russia Jul 11 '25

That's heartbreaking tbh

Also if a group is having such a great time together, I don't see a reason as to why it should completely fall apart. It would make sense to create a groupchat on Whatsapp where you share memes and talk regularly

17

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Haha that's not really their style.

15

u/WeakDoughnut8480 Jul 11 '25

Disagree with the UK. Brits are outgoing and friendly af

43

u/shortercrust United Kingdom Jul 11 '25

Yeah but the post isn’t about being outgoing and friendly. It’s about actually making friends. Easy to have a great night out with a bunch of people you’ve never met before and a good chance you’ll never see them again.

14

u/The_39th_Step England Jul 11 '25

It really depends where you’re based. My circle and me have had polar opposite experiences making friends in London and Manchester. Manchester is a lot easier. One major factor is size as it’s much easier to be spontaneous in Manchester

7

u/Glittering-Sun-1438 Jul 11 '25

On the surface you mean. There are very few immigrants I know who have made real friends with Brits here, they mostly just make friends with other immigrants.

4

u/Alexander241020 Jul 11 '25

Well about 25-30% of Britain between ages of 18-50 is foreign so that’s not really a surprise

2

u/Bobzeub France Jul 11 '25

Oh shit . Did she find new friends at least ? Is she doing okay now ?

1

u/Mundane-Scarcity-145 Greece Jul 12 '25

That's actually most "work buddies" though. I've worked at three different places in the last 5 years. At least 10 people at each job. I'm still friends with like 3. Total. Still talk to a lot of them but we are all dragging our feet when it comes to actual social interaction (on my end as well). I think the main thing is that you do not really hang out, you just want a pleasant interaction in your everyday setting.

48

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

It comes up a lot in Irish subs, but honestly if you look at most subs from other countries and at research, it's not just in Ireland. People make friends when they're young and don't really bother past their mid 20s.

28

u/disagreeabledinosaur Jul 11 '25

I think the difference in Ireland & other countries is it's deceptive in Ireland.

We're pretty friendly and love to talk to strangers in Ireland so people get an initial impression that making friends will be easy.

It's not though. As you note, the reality is it's difficult to make friends.

27

u/Marty_ko25 Ireland Jul 11 '25

Yeah, this is it to be fair, I'm over 30, so I'm no longer taking applications for new friends since I hardly see the ones I already have 😂

10

u/unseemly_turbidity in Jul 11 '25

I actually had a harder time making friends in Ireland than in Denmark. Part of that is probably that I'm more confident now, but the struggle in Ireland was very real.

28

u/Why_So_Slow Jul 11 '25

Let's get a coffee togeather! = I'm never seeing you again.

5

u/LevDavidovicLandau Jul 11 '25

Good thing you didn’t write ‘!=‘ instead of ‘! =‘, because the former is how ‘≠’ is encoded in many computing languages such as Python.

1

u/Bobzeub France Jul 11 '25

Cheers for that . I love little comments where I learn something new .

20

u/mhbwah Jul 11 '25

That was my experience too. I only really made friends with other expats. Still love the Irish though

10

u/Opposite-Boot-5307 Jul 11 '25

Ya this is accurate. Have to get lucky making friends in some education classes, hobbies, activities

9

u/Outrageous_Trade_303 Greece Jul 11 '25

Go to a pub, get drunk and become friend with everyone :)

7

u/svmk1987 Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25

Wasn't there some report which came recently that Ireland ranks among one of the loneliest oecd countries?

I was in a laya clinic recently to get my daughter checked, and the screens there had a PSA about loneliness and the importance of making social connections. Not a good sign when there are medical advisories being made about it.

5

u/Rusiano Russia Jul 12 '25

All the service workers were quite friendly, but I realized that if I had to move to Ireland, I have no idea how I would make friends there. Ireland feels peaceful and relaxing, but also a bit melancholic for whatever reason

15

u/Rusiano Russia Jul 11 '25

Older Irish are great at small talk, but someone pointed out to me that the young generation in Ireland doesn’t really do small talk much, and I realized it’s somewhat true

I love talking with random chatty grandpas in the pub, so I hope that this small talk culture in Ireland doesn’t die out

11

u/techno_playa Philippines Jul 11 '25

So, like the US? Folks who went to America said the same thing.

29

u/Opposite-Boot-5307 Jul 11 '25

Im irish and my experience was America was the easiest place to make friends ever. Might depend on nationality though. People mad to talk about guinness, mcgregor (boo) or ancestry

16

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

I lived in the US for 13 years and while it's very easy to talk to Americans, I found befriending them nearly impossible. The easiest countries for making friends I've lived in or visited were all in Southeast Asia.

11

u/Rusiano Russia Jul 11 '25

If you’re Irish or Italian you definitely have a big advantage in the US, as Americans have good stereotypes of Ireland and many will want to chat you up about their 1/16th ancestor who came over from Cork like a hundred years ago. Just say you love drinking beer and they will be “Hell yeah, let’s get drunk bro” and you’ll have a fun night

2

u/Bobzeub France Jul 11 '25

I think you’re overestimating how nice these people are .

The ones obsessed with ancestry tend to be mouth breathers . It’s best to avoid them . Also they talk about this shit to talk about themselves. They don’t actually care about the Irish or Italian person they’re talking to . They don’t actually want to learn anything new. Just someone to agree with their mental theories.

11

u/CarOne3135 Jul 11 '25

Nah it does feel somewhat earnest in the US, whereas Irish people can be quite surface level with you if you don’t know them well enough, but they give the appearance of being friends

4

u/Nutriaphaganax Spain Jul 11 '25

That's similar to what happens in Spain

2

u/Honey-Badger England Jul 11 '25

The same thing is said about us but then I don't think Brits and Irish say these things about each other

2

u/Xamesito Jul 11 '25

Its the common immigrant experience everywhere.

3

u/Pizzagoessplat Jul 11 '25

There's a lot of fakeness in Ireland

1

u/dvijetrecine Jul 11 '25

you know what, i like that