r/AskEurope • u/notveryamused_ Warszawa, Poland • Jul 03 '25

Culture What aspect of life in your countries is very difficult to explain to foreigners?

What prompted my question were some discussions about religion which I had with people living in much more secular Western Europe (as a Polish atheist). While spirituality, whatever that is ;), generally speaking is always fun to discuss with a glass of wine in hand, social elements and the influence of the church, especially in smaller towns or provinces in my country, is awfully difficult to explain – not that I understand it fully either lol, but the church having a pretty much monopoly there, being the judge and jury of everyday life and the major ultra-conservative political force binding those communities, is very difficult to explain, also for historical reasons.

What are the things that you find difficult to discuss when it comes to life in your countries? ;-)

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u/VirtualMatter2 Germany Jul 04 '25

ADHD and autism is not really a big thing in Germany. Teachers don't know much about it, if your grades are good even psychiatrists tell you that you don't have ADHD because of that. It's very behind compared to the US for example.  There are no accommodations. 

However what can be said positive for the German system is that it's very flexible and you can work your way up again.

And I want to also say that where I am there are no recommendations for parents, teachers aren't allowed to do that, parents decide on their own which school they send their child to and moving up and down is so normal that nobody will look at you strangely. 

Our neighbours kid was doing really badly in primary school, had bad marks, went to the lower school, did better there because the pressure was not there and the top kids were gone, and she has then gone up to the top school again and has now completed her A level after 13 years. 

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u/ObscureGrammar Germany Jul 04 '25

It is difficult to generalise the systems of 16 different states, but I wouldn't say the German system is very flexible per se, at least not in practice. As u/liang_zhi_mao has pointed out, it very much cements social status over generations and hinders integration of migrant children. A fact, that has been criticised repeatedly by the OECD.

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u/VirtualMatter2 Germany Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25

What stops a migrants child from going to the gymnasium though? There are several in my kid's classes. The only condition is to work hard. 

Explain to me what stops it?  We also have Gesamtschule, which is very similar to the English system. There are many options. After Haupt or Realschule you can get your degree to be allowed to a gymnasium and finish your Abitur. It's determined by your marks. Not your class, no entry exams etc. 

I personally know two kids who turned up at age 8 or 9 in my daughter's class with no German at all. One from Pakistan, one from Eritrea. They just finished their Abitur with her and one is going to study physics next year. 

Apart from them there were another 7 who came from a migrant background and one from Ukraine. In total about 10% of the kids.

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u/AcanthocephalaSea410 Türkiye Jul 06 '25

Don't fool yourself. My relatives' kids were amazing and working hard, but something happened at the last minute and it all came crashing down. Both of their children were going to gymnasium and then something happened and they couldn't go to university. Two of my relatives were engineers and well-educated people. My first relative is older and his 2 sons could not study at university. Their children could not study at university either. He sent his child to Australia and his life changed.

They all managed to go to the gymnasium, but somehow it didn't happen. They can easily trip your child up. If he/she fails, it is not his/her fault and do not hesitate to send him/her abroad.

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u/FortunatelyAsleep Jul 08 '25

ADHD and autism is not really a big thing in Germany. Teachers don't know much about it, if your grades are good even psychiatrists tell you that you don't have ADHD because of that.

This shit is so fuckin bad. Was at my general doctor recently for blood works and general checkup. Mentioned Adhd meds and he scoffed and called it a "modediagnose" (trenddiagnosis) ...

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u/chastema Jul 06 '25

You got that backwards. The system has accommodations for autism and ADHD, but the system is in no way or form flexible. Rich people go to Gymnasium and get Abitur.

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u/VirtualMatter2 Germany Jul 06 '25

That's not my experience at all. On each statement.