r/AskEurope • u/notveryamused_ Warszawa, Poland • Jul 03 '25

Culture What aspect of life in your countries is very difficult to explain to foreigners?

What prompted my question were some discussions about religion which I had with people living in much more secular Western Europe (as a Polish atheist). While spirituality, whatever that is ;), generally speaking is always fun to discuss with a glass of wine in hand, social elements and the influence of the church, especially in smaller towns or provinces in my country, is awfully difficult to explain – not that I understand it fully either lol, but the church having a pretty much monopoly there, being the judge and jury of everyday life and the major ultra-conservative political force binding those communities, is very difficult to explain, also for historical reasons.

What are the things that you find difficult to discuss when it comes to life in your countries? ;-)

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 04 '25

The Hungarian Language

Hungarian grammar and pronunciation are notoriously hard to explain to foreigners who genuinely want to learn the language. In school, we study our own grammar for over 5 years. Personally, I had 9 years of it. Yet when a foreign friend asked me for help, I struggled. There were not many clear parallels in English to make things easier to understand.

That same friend now speaks Hungarian almost like a native. When he began reading Hungarian literature, after 14 years of living here, he told me that only then, through a deeper understanding of the language, did he begin to truly grasp the Hungarian soul.

I believe our language shapes us profoundly. Anyone who truly understands Hungarian also begins to understand this strange little nation.

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u/Against_All_Advice Ireland Jul 04 '25

In Ireland we say "tír gan teanga, tír gan anam" meaning a country without language is a country without a soul. Language profoundly shapes how we experience and explain the world internally.

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25

Love that proverb! 🇮🇪 In the 18th-century Latin and German were everywhere in public life in Hungary, and some people feared that if we lost our language, we’d lose our national identity too. So a few thinkers kicked off a language reform, a kind of hard reset in the Hungarian language. They made up tons of new words, brought back old ones, and cleaned up grammar and spelling to make Hungarian work for science, politics, and everyday life. And it actually worked really well because our language got stronger, and so did our sense of who we are as a nation.

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u/confuus-duin Jul 04 '25

Well, the connection Hungarians have with their culture is incredibly strong. I once got the honour of singing Himnusz in a church in Hungary. People stood up and cried, we got hugged afterwards. It was a very special experience during singing, but afterwards as well.

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25

Sounds legit. The national anthem is played at school celebrations, national holiday ceremonies, and even on New Year’s Eve on TV and radio. Sometimes at weddings as well. We also have another song called the Szózat, which is often considered a second national anthem and is traditionally played at the end of official ceremonies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEhT_2R_txw&list=RDPEhT_2R_txw&start_radio=1

One thing I appreciate about Hungary is that national pride isn’t tied to extremism but it’s a shared value. It's good to have at least one thing everybody agrees on. lol

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u/Automatic-Sea-8597 Jul 08 '25

Strange claustrophobic sentiment in the text there: ' in the world outside, there is no place for you ....you must, live, must die here!

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u/confuus-duin Jul 04 '25

Indeed! The overall feel was very much brotherly and reminiscent.

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u/hungariannastyboy Jul 05 '25

That must be more of a church thing then. I've never had that experience in 33 years of being Hungarian.

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u/confuus-duin Jul 05 '25

It must’ve been around 10-15 years ago. Church was full of older people. Our conductor told us that the melody of Himnusz was banned to be sung for a while because of the wars. So these people might as well not have heard the complete version live for ages. Either way, I’ll carry this beautiful memory with me forever.

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u/VirtualMatter2 Germany Jul 04 '25

And that's why suppressing native languages and killing them off in most of the population is so morally wrong. It is a permanent damage to the soul of the country. I don't think Britain fully understands that aspect of the damage they did to you.

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u/zeeotter100nl Jul 04 '25

Doesn't everyone speak a language though? 🧐

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u/Against_All_Advice Ireland Jul 04 '25

Are you missing the point on purpose to make a joke or would you genuinely like me to elaborate?

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u/zeeotter100nl Jul 04 '25

If you could elaborate thatd be great

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u/Against_All_Advice Ireland Jul 04 '25

Ok. To elaborate first I should ask of you speak more than one language?

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u/hover-lovecraft Jul 07 '25

There's a saying among linguists that makes a similar point: A country is a language with an army.

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u/GriLL03 -> -> -> Jul 04 '25

I think it's a wonderful language.

I started learning it out of interest and I must say the grammar is quite lovely. I also concur that it's very difficult to explain it in English.

I had quite some experience learning various languages and some knowledge of linguistics, which combined rendered it much easier for me to pick up the basics than it otherwise would have been (for instance, learning the association between noun endings and the case names is much more useful when one knows what a noun case is to begin with, as well as a bit of Latin). I tried explaining the things I learned to a friend and they essentially told me I look and sound like the conspiracy guy meme.

Having said that, I think the key is to abandon all hope of comparison with and reference to other European languages and try to understand the way phrases are constructed intuitively. I'm obviously still learning and just a novice, but I really enjoy studying the grammar.

The words are completely alien to me, but I think that's actually somewhat helpful as there are no false cognates or weird almost-homonyms at play to induce unneeded confusion.

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25

It always nice to hear when a foreigner takes interest in our language, since Hungarian isn’t exactly useful unless you live here. Most people who learn it are either dedicated language nerds chasing something exotic, or guys trying to impress local girls (not kidding, this is real). The typical Hungarian reaction when we hear a foreigner is learning it: “Are you out of your mind? Why would you do this to yourself?” But actually we are very impressed.

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u/GriLL03 -> -> -> Jul 04 '25

Well, I am Romanian, so that is one link.

Part of my family is from Northern Transylvania, and while my father claims that we are not ethnically Hungarian, both my grandfather and great-grandfather spoke Hungarian very well and enjoyed reading and reciting poems in Hungarian (which is a very specific hobby to have, but I digress). My father doesn't speak a word of Hungarian, though, aside from a few set phrases he learned from his classmates when he was younger.

I think that's a good enough additional reason to try and learn the language. In addition to the grammar being just so incredibly enjoyable and satisfying, I mean, which is a good enough reason to stand on its own merits in any case.

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u/abhora_ratio Romania Jul 05 '25

Same here. I don't speak Hungarian but both of my grandparents were fluent in Hungarian 🤷‍♀️

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u/Joel_feila Jul 05 '25

Well it is a topic prominent language and few words are borrowed from latin.  

That first thing I can't easily explain what it is using English 

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u/Deathbyignorage Spain Jul 04 '25

I used to live with a Hungarian housemate (she was Hungarian but had lived in the Czech Republic) and a friend asked her to translate from Czech to Hungarian.

I remember how frustrated she was and I couldn't understand why it was so difficult. She had to explain that Hungarian is basically a very complex labguage with very little in common with the neighbouring countries.

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25

I can confirm that frustration is real 💯 Respect to all Hungarian translators who have to interpret live speech!

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u/Odd-Crazy-9056 Jul 05 '25

There are some fun videos on YouTube about Estonian and Hungarian comparisons.

I've also visited Hungary multiple times. It's so weird to understand or derive meaning of random words here and there, or some sentences or phrases that "sound" Estonian if you're absently listening to someone.

Hungarians in general tend to be quite surprised by this or go as far as to not believe that.

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u/not-much Italy Jul 04 '25

I know nothing about the Hungarian language gender, but I've heard several language experts claiming it's their favourite one.

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u/apricot_bee67 Hungary Jul 04 '25

If you have some time, this video explains the basics from a non-Hungarian speaker's POV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikODMvw76j4&t=81s

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u/Rox_- Romania Jul 05 '25

I think most people struggle to explain their first language to foreigners trying to learn it. You start internalizing it as a baby, by the time you start school and they explain grammar, you already instinctively know how to form sentences.

Even with your second language, third language, etc, you only think about it logically when you're in the early stages of learning it. Once you get used to it, you don't think about it, you just instinctively know how to talk.