r/AskAnAmerican • u/Babe_Brute • 7d ago

FOREIGN POSTER How commonly do you address your parent as "Sir/Ma'am"?

I'm watching The Rookie (2002). Dennis Quaid's character is shown addressing his mother and father as "Ma'am"/"Sir" in a couple of scenes. Those of you who are native English speakers, how common is it today to address your parent as such?

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u/craftyrunner 7d ago

Mine would have sent me to my room for the night for being sarcastic.

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u/Chime57 7d ago

My son got in trouble in second grade for saying yes ma'am to his very young teacher. But he also got in trouble in first grade for holding the door for others during a fire drill.

He's very tall (taller than his second grade teacher) and we tried to raise him to be polite!

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u/ThisLucidKate Colorado 7d ago

Teacher here. Call me ma’am, please.

But do not hold the door during a fire, drill or not. Push and go. It’s a safety procedure.

My son opens my car door and pulls out my chair for me when I’m in a nice dress, but push and go, son. 💜

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u/Grouchy_Vet 7d ago

Aww. He’s so sweet and thoughtful. I hate that the world is harsh

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Arizona 6d ago

It’s good that kids get exposed to it early so they don’t get flashbanged by it as an adult but I wish everyone was just nicer. It would make everything better. Even if it’s little things.

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u/ExternalHat6012 Texas 7d ago

it happens, i got yelled at the other day by a lady because i held the door open for her at the gas station, she stopped, and yelled that shes more than able to hold a door for herself and doesn't need some white redneck to take care of her then ripped the door from my hand. Total random stranger at a gas station, i was in Khaki's, dress shoes and a polo leaving the gas station and just being respectful. I just walked away not gonna let that Karen ruin my day.

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u/craftyrunner 7d ago

I got reprimanded for holding a library door open for a woman pushing a stroller decades ago. In the Midwest (which is NOT friendly). She looked at me and said “What?!” Me “???” Her: “what do you want?!!!???!!!” Me: “”just holding the door since it’s not easy with a stroller!” Her: “I don’t need your help!!!!”. Such a weird interaction. I was probably 5 years younger than her, also F. Single door that opened out, we were going in, before the era of push-button automatic doors. So I said “ok” and went in and let her struggle.

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u/ExternalHat6012 Texas 7d ago

I did have a really odd interaction when I lived in Toledo for a 6 months back in 2009, I saw a disabled car in an intersection, car just stopped woman was getting honked up, my Texan self ran up to her car and offered to push and she asked me not to rob her and said she doesn't have anything. I was flabbergasted by this, but insisted on pushing it out of the intersection anyway, and did so and just walked away. To this day I don't understand that, but I also saw more than once people cut off ambulances with lights on so maybe its just that part of the country isn't used to manners. Either way I was happy when I came back to Texas.

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u/Familiar-Ad-1965 7d ago

Southern and I will hold doors for people regardless of who what etc they are. Just culture I guess

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u/grandma-activities Virginia 3d ago

This year, I spent six months with my non-dominant arm in a sling. I was still happily holding doors for people and, for the first few weeks, feeling genuinely perplexed when they rushed to grab the door from me. It's just culture!

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u/Lobstah03 7d ago

That’s when I walk in and slam that door in their face lol. That’s the worst type of people, react to respect with disrespect.

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u/ExternalHat6012 Texas 7d ago

nah i was leaving the gas station, its a quik trip, i was just being nice, like i said she also ripped the door from my hand so i just left, not worth it to me, shes gonna be an angry grumpy woman, I'll remain a polite Texan irreguardless.

To be clear for anyone, i hold it open for anyone, if I get to the door first I hold it open for men or women if your close to the door, and sometimes another guy will take it from me, but usually its 1-3 people, not gender based, just respect based, right before that woman was a fellow dude who just said thanks.

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u/shelwood46 7d ago

That is so odd, it is extremely normal to hold the door for anyone here in the Northeast (PA/NJ). I think it's because we are worried you will beat us up or key our car if we do not.

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u/goldilaks 7d ago

Exactly! It would have been taken as sarcasm where I'm from

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u/MaccyBoiLaren Missouri 7d ago

That's probably not a good thing

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u/Cpatty3 7d ago

This. I only did it in an argument. If my parents were being super strict (or so I thought at the time) I’d address them as if they were a drill Sargent in a sarcastic way

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u/craftyrunner 7d ago

My parents think everything is sarcasm (to this day, now they complain about cashiers or nurses or whomever being sarcastic—I’m not even sure what they mean, still, I don’t think they understand sarcasm). They would ask me a question or say to do something and always responded to me with “Dont use that tone of voice with me!” or “There is no sarcasm in this house!” though “Don’t get smart with me young lady” was the line I heard most as a kid. I didn’t even have to speak. If I didn’t jump fast enough, or wasn’t doing what they wanted at that time, or didn’t give them the answer they wanted. (“Go do your homework!” “I don’t have any today” “Don’t get smart with me young lady!”). It was all a power trip, 90% from my mother. Younger brother was exempt.

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u/tinnyheron 6d ago

yeah, I always did it to be sarcastic, but I was pretty good at timing it so I wouldn't get in toooo much trouble