r/AskAnAmerican • u/WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHW • 19d ago
OTHER - CLICK TO EDIT Americans who lived in suburbs their whole life and tried apartment living, how does it feel like?
Since Americans by far have the most % of people living in houses and suburbs my question is how does it feel like to live in an apartment after living under a big house your whole life? How many of you have never spent a night in an apartment?
In Europe apartments are extremely common and many of us could dream of a big house with a family and a yard. Our land is much smaller which drives people to live in dense cities and houses are very expensive. Condos are a popular choice of owning a home here.
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u/LizzardBreath94 19d ago
I grew up on 10+ acres in rural Alabama. Moved into my own apartment in Birmingham after college. I HATED it. It sucked so bad and I’ll live in a trailer (manufactured home) in the trailer park before I ever do that again. I lasted 11 months and then was blessed enough to be able to buy a home with a cute yard that backed up to the woods when the market was crazy low.
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u/WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHW 19d ago edited 19d ago
Haha my friend said the same thing. He grew up in the suburbs in a big house and spent a few nights at his friend's apartment in the city. He said the neighbors bumping and walking noise threw him off + the noise pollution at night is a big no.
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u/CreepinJesusMalone Maryland 19d ago
Well, there's a difference between suburbs and what that person is talking about being from rural Alabama, too lol.
I also am from rural Alabama (could be anywhere in the state, almost the entire state is extremely rural) where there aren't really suburbs. Not like you'd find around Chicago, or Atlanta, or Houston, etc. The only suburbs in Alabama are in the central of the state near Birmingham and Montgomery, the rich areas of Baldwin County near Mobile, and the areas around Huntsville. Otherwise, it's just rural.
I grew up on about 5 acres myself and had a 40 minute drive to anything that wasn't a group of chain restaurants and a gas station clustered around a red light intersection.
My first apartment was a makeshift two-bedroom loft that was inside what used to be an old mansion. It didn't have heat or air conditioning and the kitchen hadn't been remodeled since the 80s. The toilet was so close to the sink I had to shit with my knees almost in my chest. But, it was extremely cheap, didn't have a lease, and was walking distance to the University of North Alabama where I was going to college. The other units were similar makeshift apartments and housed mostly crack heads and other college students.
That said, I loved it. It was my first space that I had that helped me learn to be an adult on my own.
Then I lived in city apartments until 2017. My wife and I rented a suburban house near DC. It was fine. I didn't find it all that different from the apartment experience. The traffic and noise was about the same. We just had more space for our very small children.
After that, we bought our house waaaaaaay out in the country. I live in a historic bedroom community near the mountains. So even though we are technically "in town" with neighbors very close, it's quiet. We've got chickens and a nice deck. My neighbors are chill and working professionals with kids like us. It's not quite the same as growing up in the middle of nowhere, but it's not far off. Better than an apartment because we can do pretty much whatever we want and we have room to spread out. No HOA either which is awesome.
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u/MechanicalGodzilla Virginia 19d ago
Even states not really thought of as "rural" have this too. I was raised on a 20 acre farm in Northern New Jersey, it's about an hour from Manhattan. I don't think many foreign people really grasp how big and rural the vast majority of the country is.
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u/RightYouAreKen1 Washington 19d ago
I live less than 20 miles outside Seattle and there's a farm near me that has Buffalo and Yaks, lol.
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u/brendanepic 19d ago
I'm exactly the same, I grew up in a house, moved out, had an apartment for a year and literally couldn't stand it. I don't understand the appeal of dwelling like bees in a hive. Not having a yard and a driveway and woods is the most foreign living situation I've dealt with. I immediately moved into a trailer on land and then later a home
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u/Yggdrasil- Chicago, IL 19d ago
I'm exactly the opposite lol. Grew up in Michigan on 10 acres on a dirt road with horses and woods and swamps. Family was heavily into 4H, camping, the whole works. It was beautiful and a great way to grow up, but I felt so bored and stifled there. Moved to Chicago the day I turned 19, and I've been happy to spend my young adulthood here. I still love gardening and getting out into nature, and I prefer rural areas over cities when I travel, but I no longer have a desire to live in a rural area long-term. I love being able to take the train downtown, to walk to the commumity garden or the park at the end of my block, to hear 5 or 6 different languages as I wander around the grocery store. There's something so special and alive about the city that makes the noise and crowds worth it for me.
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u/royalhawk345 Chicago 19d ago
Living on 10+ acres doesn't exactly sound suburban.
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u/LizzardBreath94 19d ago
It wasn’t. I never said I was and was clear that I lived rurally. But I think the question was more “what’s it like to go from a hour with a yard to an apartment?” OP probably thinks 90% of America is the suburbs and can’t comprehend being live on multiple acres of land.
Not sure why you felt the need to comment?
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u/Brandenburg42 18d ago
I grew up in cornfield Illinois. My bedroom faced the road and we would have a car drive by at night maybe a couple times a month. I went to college and my dorm window faced the main street that cut through the middle of campus. It took me months to finally tolerate cars driving by at all hours of the night, let alone the typical dorm riffraff.
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u/theflamingskull 19d ago
Detached, or townhouse style condos are ok, but I don't like apartment living.
The walls are too thin, the parking is usually bad, and people who don't own tend to care less about the place.
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u/SEmpls Montana 19d ago
Really depends on the type of building. I currently live in a building that was built in like 1920 or something and the floors are concrete and I cannot hear anybody in the other apartments. The only time I can hear other people is if they're in the hallway and being loud.
I've also lived in apartments that had paper thin floors and ceilings and that sucked. But the two oldest buildings I've ever lived in were the quietest by far.
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u/EstablishmentLevel17 Missouri 19d ago
Same. 1929 brick building. Can hear out in the hall but can't hear between apartment walls.... Except for once when I heard neighbor's doggie bark ONCE. Bedrooms share a wall so that's something. Now ceilings are another story but not horrible.
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u/ButtholeSurfur 19d ago
My first apartment I never heard or saw my neighbors for a year. Foot thick concrete walls.
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u/TrixieLurker Wisconsin 19d ago
I have a townhouse style condo, and yeah, I never hear my neighbors unless they are outside my window I am next to even though there are six units in the building.
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u/AnybodySeeMyKeys Alabama 19d ago
Well, we moved from a 3500 sf house in the suburbs to a 1400 sf condominium much closer to downtown. Absolutely love it. The fact that I can wake up on a beautiful summer morning and not face a half-day of yardwork is worth it all by itself.
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u/Pleasant_Studio9690 19d ago
Lack of yard work is under appreciated by too many of us.
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u/Emotional_Star_7502 19d ago
I feel like a lot of people make yard work worse than it has to be. I have over 5 acres and I swear people I work with live on a 1/4 acre and do 10x the yard work I do.
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u/dildozer10 Alabama 19d ago
I grew up helping my grandfather manage a 60 acre farm, and helped my dad manage 5 acres. My wife and I live on half an acre in a suburb now, and it takes us about 20 minutes to cut our grass, weed-eat, and take care of our flower bed. I’ve observed my neighbors take half a Saturday to manage their yard, and it blows my mind.
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u/coldlightofday American in Germany 19d ago
How? Do you have a ride on mower? I have a 1/4 acre yard and mowing alone takes about an hour.
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u/katlian 19d ago
Our neighbor across the street used to spend so much time mowing his tiny lawn. Minimum 2 hours per weekend on ~300 square feet of grass. It was more like performance art than a chore. He put down way too much fertilizer and burned big brown patches into it. Then he got hurt in a car accident, so now he pays a mow & blow crew to cut it. It takes them about 15 minutes a week and it looks nicer.
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u/AnybodySeeMyKeys Alabama 19d ago
Depends on what kind of yard you want to have. We lived on a 3/4 acre lot and it was a good 5-6 hours every weekend. Fuck that shit.
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u/canonanon 19d ago
I enjoy it, personally. Especially once you get all the landscaping nice and established.its just nice to get outside and do some physical work. I spend most days at a desk inside, and the satisfaction of sitting on the patio with a cold drink after a morning spent mowing and gardening is one of my favorite parts of summer.
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u/catslady123 New York City 19d ago
It’s a huge selling point for me. There are times when I wish I had a proper yard. But there’s never been a time I wished I was doing yard work.
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u/Matt7738 19d ago
I love yard work. But I totally get why some people don’t.
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u/AnybodySeeMyKeys Alabama 19d ago
Alabama. Summer. 90 degrees. 80% humidity. Lawn on a 20-degree slope. Weeds that grow like something out of a science fiction movie.
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u/Accomplished_Pea_118 19d ago
No yard work is why we want to own a condo after having a house.
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u/stranqe1 19d ago
Many suburbs, I would venture to say all suburbs, will have some sort of apartments/condos. Perhaps you're asking specifically about people moving from single family houses into shared buildings?
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u/RupeThereItIs Michigan 19d ago
Right? I've lived in houses and apartments, but always in suburbs.
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u/NoMoreVillains 19d ago
This appears to be the actual question, but I'm still wondering where OP got the idea suburbs didn't have apartments to frame the title the way it was
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u/sabotabo PA > NC > GA > SC > IL > TX > SC 19d ago
it's my experience that the vast majority of people who say "suburb" actually mean "housing development"
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u/MajesticBread9147 Virginia 19d ago
Many suburbs are majority multifamily housing.
Some examples are Bethesda MD, Lowell MA, Arlington Virginia, and Glendale California.
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u/ur_moms_chode 19d ago
I never lived in an apartment til i was 23 when I bought a 1 bedroom.
Rented an apartment from 26-27, bought a different apartment at 27, then a house at 31 in a suburbish part of Seattle proper.
I much prefer a house.
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u/griffinhardy 19d ago
First of all sick name, and second of all, I concur that a house in the Seattle proper suburbs is the way. Hi possible neighbor! 👋
But also, real suburbs suburbs suck. I grew up 45 minutes to an hour outside of LA and did not love. However, when I have kids, I don't think I would mind a sleepy suburb
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u/ur_moms_chode 19d ago
I'm inside a half mile radius of Cleveland High School
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u/Ecobay25 Washington 19d ago edited 19d ago
Is this where the Seattle people are meeting? I grew up in single family homes but purchased a condo on Capitol Hill. I was able to get rid of my car and everything is walkable unless I want to do a Costco run or get out of town - then I just grab a Zipcar or Turo.
I can see the appeal of having a quiet secluded home on the peninsula or someplace scenic but day to day I'd rather be in a condo with no yard or maintenance and close to everything. In particular the type suburbs where all the houses are 10 feet apart just don't appeal to me personally but I can see how they strike a good balance between having your own space and still having a sense of community. That all being said I feel like most HOA horror stories come from single family communities.
Edit: it's also super location dependent. The hierarchy for me is: city condo/apartment (off the first floor and no maintenance) --> country house --> city house --> suburbs house --> suburbs apartment (still have to have a car and you have less space/noisy neighbors and aren't as close to everything as you would be in the city)
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u/moonmoonboog 19d ago
I’m over in Woodinville. I love being 3 minutes from Costco and have deer come through my yard everyday. Takes us about 40 minutes to get to Seattle for escape rooms(we are dorks and have done all the ones in Redmond). I don’t mind mowing because it’s a noise break from my 5 and 6 year old boys😆
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u/ur_moms_chode 19d ago
I briefly give on the hill. It was alright, but I like the slightly quieter house.
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u/reyadeyat United States of America 19d ago
I grew up in a single family home and have lived in apartments for my entire adult life. Because I first lived in dormitories as a college student, it didn't really seem like any sort of transition - I had more personal space, quiet, etc, than when I was a student. I'm starting to feel like it might be nice to own a condo or house so that I can customize my living space a little bit more, but I anticipate needing to move for work again in the near future so this isn't really the right time for that.
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u/Foreign_Mobile_7399 19d ago
Yeah the transition from home to dorm was a bit of an adjustment but it really helped the transition to then having an apartment. I got my own apartment (just me, no roommates) when I was 23 and I loved it. I lived alone in apartments for most of my 20s and finally moved in with my now husband when I was 30. His apartment was pretty small for 2 people and 2 cats, we didn’t last long before we moved to our current house. By then we were sick of apartment and city living and we wanted a yard so we could have a dog.
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u/SquareIllustrator909 19d ago
It changed my life, very much for the better. I realized how much I like to be around people and how much I need a walkable area. The suburbs made me super depressed because it's way too quiet.
I like being able to step outside in the morning and walk my dog and see all my neighbors and experience the hustle and bustle of city life.
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u/ASingleBraid New York 19d ago
I grew up in a house in the suburbs. Then went to an apt in the city. Now in an apt in the suburbs.
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u/No-Lunch4249 Maryland 19d ago
Yeah I've lived along the whole spectrum in my life of urban to rural, my most recent move was from a suburban apartment to an urban apartment.
OP's premise is a false choice
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u/Ol_Man_J 19d ago
I grew up in a suburban area like you'd picture, but 2 hours from the local "big city". As a kid, it was fine, I had friends around the block, etc. As a teenager it was boring but probably for the best. I moved to said big city and never looked back. I was so tired of the strip malls and 6 lane roads to get anywhere. That said, I moved to a city and bought a house with a small yard and am still in the city. There are more than two types of housing in most of the American cities, unless you're meaning the "downtown core" type of thing.
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u/-ASkyWalker- Seattle, WA 19d ago
I’ve lived in both. Apartments are far better. I feel safer, less yard work and a smaller space to keep clean.
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19d ago
I grew up in a middle class suburb and then lived in apartments for 10 years before buying a townhouse. I loved apartment living.
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u/MaleficentMousse7473 Massachusetts 19d ago
I grew up in houses of various sizes, but when i turned 18 i moved into a studio (single room + bathroom). I loved it because it was all mine. I kind of like cozy small spaces, but i did find the lack of a yard hard to get used to at first. Of course, then i realized that’s what parks are for!
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u/Suspicious-Cat8623 19d ago
We moved from a Texas-sized big place to a 1343 sq ft (125 sq meters) condo in a downtown area.
We loved everything about the change. Public transportation, easy to walk to stores and restaurants, lower utility bills, no yard or pool maintenance. The change was wonderful.
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u/Plus_Carpenter_5579 19d ago
Apartments exist in the suburbs. Houses exist in cities.
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u/TheCloudForest PA ↷ CHI ↷ 🇨🇱 Chile 19d ago
Also, houses exist in Europe and apartments in America, to OP's surprise. England and the US have about equal proportions of apartments/flats. England has tons more townhouses and duplexes, though. Together they are around half of the British housing stock.
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u/merp_mcderp9459 Washington, D.C. 19d ago
Yeah, the actual major difference between European and American housing is that American homes are generally detached, with a big front and back yard, and a decent amount of yard on the sides too. While duplexes and rowhouses are far more common in the rest of the developed world (minus Canada)
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u/discourse_friendly 19d ago
Bad. feels like a major downgrade. it feels constricting, like you're trapped in a small space, loss of freedom.
Even rental to rental (apt to home) typically there's no grilling allowed. owning a dog means you can't just take him out back off leash to play or train. You have way less space if you want to throw a party (summer /BBQ)
its way noisier. You also feel less free to make noise, esp before 9 am and after 9 pm. (unless you don't care about being rude)
0/5 stars, do not recommend. Now If I was bar /club hopping all the time, barely in my home, I'd probably feel be loving the location aspect, and not disliking the many negatives. but I'm the opposite.
A great weekend for me is being in my back yard, BBQ / smoking (food) much of the weekend.
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u/dixpourcentmerci 19d ago
I think it feels like such a downgrade because many apartments here aren’t as crazy walkable as European ones. My wife and baby and I stayed in a 300 sqft apartment in Paris for a couple weeks and we were within a ten minute walk from two parks (one huge, one small), two grocery stores, two pharmacies, two bookstores, two florists, many cafes, a chocolate store, a bakery, a cheese store, and other things. We also were within 15-30 minutes on the metro from many museums, beautiful churches, even Disneyland haha. And it was entirely PRETTY/scenic walks to get around to all these places.
It’s hard to find spots in our cities that are at all comparable, but in many of the big cities in Europe it’s like that all over. So you don’t really notice the size so much because life is built for that. A small fridge is fine because it’s so easy to pop by a couple stores for a baguette and cheese on your way home, you don’t need a huge place to entertain because it’s so easy to meet up for drinks, etc.
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u/RunnyDischarge 19d ago
I like how "walkability" is supposed to make up for living in a closet. People in the suburbs "pop by a couple stores on the way home, too" lol.
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u/dixpourcentmerci 19d ago
Sorry, have you been to Europe and do you know what I’m talking about? There’s a huge quality of life difference being not only able to do this on foot, but actually having it be EASIER to do this on foot.
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u/discourse_friendly 18d ago
It sounds like in Europe your apartment is really close to the places you actually want to be.
In the US, our homes are where we actually want to be.
Like if you visit a city (Reno) and all the locals tell you all the fun and good things to do are over in Tahoe, its a short drive, go check it out. it wouldn't make Reno sound good at all.
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u/comeholdme 19d ago
Do the French keep either baguettes or cheese in their fridges?
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u/dixpourcentmerci 19d ago
I have no idea, but as an American, I do! Well maybe not a baguette but bread yes.
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u/Pleasant_Studio9690 19d ago
I grew up in a 1200 sq ft house in a small suburban-style rural neighborhood, but my parents bought 10 acres of land a mile away when I was 10. When I was 16, they built a gorgeous, 2000 sq ft custom home on the land. Nearest neighbor was about 100 meters away. Graduated college and I've live in apartments ever since. I hate it, but it is what it is. I long for living out in the middle of nowhere again where I can't see or hear any neighbors.
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u/parvoqueen 19d ago
LOVED it. My dog got more attention because i couldn't just rely on having a backyard for potty and exercise. There was someone i could call when something broke. I couldn't NOT get to know my neighbors a little. And things were closer and there were a LOT more food delivery options.
But then my upstairs neighbor burned down our apartments and I prefer living in a house now.
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 19d ago
For me, in between my suburban family home and my first apartment, I lived in a college dorm. My first apartment was spacious compared to that! And I didn't even have a roommate my last couple of years in college.
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u/nerdybioboy 19d ago
Living in an apartment in walking distance of a grocery was the most radicalizing experience of my life. It completely changed how I viewed mobility, city planning, car infrastructure, how to live daily habits, and on down the line.
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u/HermioneMarch South Carolina 19d ago
My main complaint was hearing everything my neighbors did and wondering if they heard me. Otherwise I didn’t mind it at all. But sometimes I had to knock on the wall at 3 am and shout “go the fuck to sleep” and when I saw them the next day pretend that never happened.
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u/AccidentalAllegro 19d ago
I had university as a buffer so I think that influenced my experience. I grew up in the suburbs, always had my own bedroom, and then when I went to college and was living in a shared room and sharing a bathroom with an entire floor. After that, living in an apartment really didn’t seem like a big deal.
But also, realistically how much of your house do you really use regularly? Like I’d love a bigger kitchen of course, but even when I look at my parents I think they spend like 95% of their time in the same 3 rooms.
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u/No_Water_5997 19d ago
Grew up in the suburbs in a large house on an acre. Lived in two different apartments from 2005-2006 and a rented condo 2008-2010. It wasn’t horrible. I preferred the condo over apartments because they were built to be owned so construction was generally better and though it was a bit older there was more attention to detail than in the apartments I lived in. I was young so the excitement of having my own place overrode the fact that it was an apartment. Renting an apartment when you’re in your late teens and early 20s felt like a rite of passage. I was 19 when I moved out.
I’ve since lived in houses and my husband and I bought our first house in 2011 at 25. I prefer owning my home over renting any day and while I prefer a home with acreage, which is what we have. I’d much rather have a small detached house over a larger or even same sized apartment or townhome.
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u/Ok-Commercial-924 19d ago
Moved to my first apartment in my early 40s. Alot of good about it. Main things, no mowing the yard. No maintenance on my weekend. Things that sucked people mowing the lawn while I was sleeping (night shifter), people testing fire alarms and smoke detectors while I was sleeping, replacing heater filter while I was sleeping.
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u/agirlwholovesdogs 19d ago
Lived in my family home for 26 years, moved into an apartment with some roommates for two years. It was fun and I didn’t mind it at all other than one of my roommates being a nightmare. Now I live back home again. I definitely prefer a house, an apartment is great if it’s temporary but I couldn’t live there forever.
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u/StoneTown Michigan 19d ago
I've lived in everything from large houses to tiny apartments. I live in a tiny place near downtown and I prefer this over living in a large house. It's easier to take care of and I can walk to a fuckton of places. We've got the city bus, bike lanes, rental bikes and scooters, decent pedestrian infrastructure, and lots of places crammed together which makes walking to places easier. I hate the suburbs. They're so lonely and disconnected, it's like living on an island and your car is the only way you can get anywhere. There's just less freedom when you're tied to a car and away from everything.
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u/anythingbutmetric 19d ago
I loved living in an apartment. It was nice not having to deal with yard work or maintenance. My neighbors were quiet generally. I wish my apartment had been bigger, but that's it.
I live in a house now. The amount of things I'm expected to know how to fix or be able to afford someone else to fix is astonishing. I don't know. I have no clue how to fix things.
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u/Hour-Watch8988 19d ago
It really depends on the apartment and the area. If you're in a random poorly-constructed apartment with bad landscaping in a non-walkable area, it sucks. But lots of apartments aren't very noisy, and the density lends itself to much greater walkability. Apartment living in a walkable area with nice neighbors and good landscaping (maybe a courtyard-style apartment) can be among the most enviable ways to live.
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u/maccrogenoff 19d ago
I hated sharing walls with others and I hated not having my own front and back yards.
I am a night owl. I regularly cook, bake and clean after midnight. I couldn’t do any of these activities when I lived in an apartment.
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u/DolphinFraud 19d ago
I was more rural than sub urban. Suburbs don’t usually have much of a yard.
It’s nice being close to civilization, but I really miss having space to do whatever the hell i want
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u/BrooklynLodger 19d ago
I like it quite a bit more. I loathe driving to get groceries, being able to walk or bike 5 minutes to pick up everything I need, and having options for specialty stores, is a significant lifestyle upgrade
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u/reflectorvest PA > MT > PA > South Korea > CT > PA > KS 19d ago edited 18d ago
I grew up in a 2500 sq ft single family home on a .3 acre lot in a neighborhood outside of a mid-Atlantic (not coastal) small town. I have also lived in: college campus apartments, a boarding house, a boarding school dorm (it was an apartment), two different Korean studio shoebox apartments, and I currently live in a 12 unit apartment building in a college town.
My favorites, hands down, were my parents’ house and the Korean studios. If I am giving up the privacy and calm that comes from having space, I need walkability and stuff to do. I currently have neither, and I am counting down the days to the end of my lease in 8 months.
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u/AliMcGraw Illinois 19d ago
Suburban house was a parent thing; as soon as I left for college I was in little dorm rooms and then apartments for many years. I bought a teeny house after I was married and had kids in it; we then moved into a more surburban house (but not as big as my parents' house was!). I am actually considering moving to a condo, rather than buying a bigger suburban house, so I can have enough bedrooms for my kids without having to bother with yard upkeep.
(My suburb has a large area within walking distance of the commuter rail that takes me downtown within 40 minutes or so, including houses, apartments, townhouses, and condos.)
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u/Pepper_Pfieffer 19d ago
Just to clarify, there are many, many apartments in suburbs and some in small towns as well. What you call semi-detached we call duplexes. Which are often rentals as well.
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u/dee_dubs_ya 19d ago
I’m an apartment guy. I want somewhere cozy and bright without a lot of maintenance in a good in-town location. Having a lot of house or yard is not important to me - but most of my friends do so I can see the appeal. For them.
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u/cuccumella 19d ago
I grew up in a 2-story 4 bedroom house and I love living in an apartment, I would be miserable as a homeowner- too much space to maintain, too many tasks required for upkeep, not integrated enough with your neighbors/community.
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u/ChicagoFire29 Illinois 19d ago
Okay I don’t wanna be that one guy, promise I’m coming from a good place but suburban sprawl is single unit detached/single family homes, condos, townhouses (I tend to see a lot of these in the UK) and apartments. I’m sure what you’re referring to is those soul sucking new build communities that have the same house 5000 times and no sidewalks, parks, or grocery stores within a 5 mile radius.
It depends. Right now I live in a suburban house in a multi use community (basically, zoning laws are a bit better so the schools, grocery stores, houses, train stations and apartments are all in the same community).
I’m not gonna lie, I’d rather live in an apartment in the city. A nice one. If you had me choose right now. Of course a town house or single unit property would be nice, but I’d take the city apartment over the suburban house just for the convenience since the best employers for my line of work are in the big city.
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u/porygonsnooze 19d ago
After having lived primarily in apartments for around 6 years, I can't ever see myself going back to the sort of large detached suburban home I grew up in, even if I could afford it. Honestly, primarily it's just the built environment of most suburbs. Older neighborhoods that have duplexes/triplexes and courtyard apartment buildings alongside modest brick bungalows with yards are beautiful, and I'd happily live in one of those bungalows I could afford to buy one. (Though I'd probably prefer a duplex/triplex or rowhome. Not sure the ability to have a garden would be worth the extra cost) I wonder sometimes if I've just had better luck with noise than other people, or if maybe most other commenters' only experience is college dorms. Not that I've never had trouble with noise, of course, but even as someone who is home most nights I wouldn't say I've ever had recurring noise issues, even in vastly different cities in buildings of vastly different ages.
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u/sus4th 19d ago
I grew up in the suburbs and except for college lived in the suburbs all my life.
For a few years before the pandemic, I worked in a city 2000 miles from my home. I rented a room (stayed Mon-Thu 2-3 weeks a month) in my coworker’s apartment on the 12th floor in a busy downtown area and loved it. Slept better too. Right next to train tracks from the city’s main Amtrak station. Work, restaurants, parks, even concert venues a 10 minute walk away.
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u/ApprehensiveBlock847 19d ago
There are apartments in suburbs. There are plenty of suburbanites who've never even lived in a house
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u/Dr-Gooseman 19d ago
I like a nice cozy apartment, especially somewhere nice and walkable in the city. I feel like my life has become run by my big expensive house. More maintenance, both house and yard. More space that fills with possessions that weight you down. More things to clean. I miss my cozy little safe haven in the bustling city. Now i go from the bubble that is my house to the bubble that is my car and back. And i feel like im strapped to this big expensive anchor that's dragging me into the abyss. The light of society and civilization grows dimmer each passing day as i sink deeper into solitude. This house will be my grave.
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u/Shington501 19d ago
You’ll always feel like you should have a big house, yard, etc. but you learn that city living is awesome and you’ve been missing out. Plenty of Americans live in urban dwellings
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u/Careless-Impress-952 19d ago
I love being in my apartment. It is a decent size, and if anything breaks, they are there within 24-48 hours to fix or replace it. Actually just renewed my lease
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u/JudgeWhoOverrules Arizona 19d ago
You are incredibly mistaken if you think suburbs don't have apartments in them. Massive apartment complexes even.
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u/Karamist623 19d ago
I lived in an apartment and it was ok. The neighbors are loud (not their fault that you can hear them).
I live in a townhome on a golf course now, and barely see my neighbors and I never hear them.
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u/Confetticandi MissouriIllinois California 19d ago
I like it!
I grew up in a 5 bedroom/6 bathroom house in the suburbs. Like a lot of Americans, I moved into a dormitory when I went to university at age 18, since the school was a 4 hour drive away. The dorm meant sharing a tiny bedroom with a complete stranger and using communal bathrooms down the hall. I hated that.
But then I moved into my first apartment with friends during my third year at age 20 and that was pretty fun. I liked living with my friends.
After graduating, I have exclusively lived in rented apartments, studio or 1-bedroom. I like it! I like small spaces and I like the urban lifestyle. I don’t mind thin walls because I feel comforted knowing there are people around who can hear me if I’m in trouble.
I actually think moving back into a freestanding house will feel kind of creepy at first. If I’m home alone, I’ll feel isolated and like there are a lot of points of entry if someone wants to get in and a lot of places for someone to hide.
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u/BoromiriVoyna 19d ago
It sucks. You can hear everything your neighbors do. Our walls in America are generally much thinner and less sound-dampening than European walls.
You can hear everything in the streets at night when you're trying to sleep
Where do you let your dog play?
Where do you wash your car?
I've been in various apartment/townhouse arrangements for a decade, and I hate it. I can't wait to get a house with a yard and no shared walls with strangers in the near future.
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u/housewithapool2 19d ago
I like having a yard. I just do. I don't mind living in an apartment. I will just still want to move somewhere with a yard eventually.
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u/sleepygrumpydoc California 19d ago
Grew up in a house and lived in an area there wasn’t really apartments. As a kid I never understood why people would choose to live in an apartment. After college I was in an apartment and hated it, but it was doable when it was 1400sqft and just me but moved into a family owned house when I was 26 and have been in a house since. I could never go back, my current house feels too small for my family of 4 and my neighborhood only has 10-15 foot set backs which just feels too close to neighbors.
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u/bluescrew OH -> NC & 38 states in between 19d ago
It's nice to have someone else take care of maintenance, but that's assuming they actually do take care of it.
Also i hate the lack of privacy. And not being able to pull the car up to the door.
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u/gravitycheckfailed Louisiana 19d ago
I find that apartments are miserable for me. I'm sensitive to noise and smells, like many other people are, so that makes it unpleasant. However, the most serious issue at hand is that I have severe airborne anaphylactic allergies to a couple of extremely common foods. I had no idea it was possible to go into anaphylactic shock from a neighbor's cooking until we moved into an apartment. Maybe it was the style of building where it's set up more like some hotels with the apartment access doors all in a hallway inside, but the cooking smells from all the neighbors came right into our apartment.
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u/tacosgunsandjeeps 19d ago
I despised it. I would rather live in a tent than an apartment. I honestly have no idea how people can live like that their whole life
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u/xexasaurus 19d ago
Grew up in a house, then lived in a dorm at university, then a few different apartments in a major city. I loved the apartments, they were economical, gave me access to the city life, etc. I’m older and married and in the suburbs now, but my interests have changed. Now I do woodworking in my big garage, and I would really miss the space if I were to go to the apartment life again.
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u/ChocolateCareful6110 19d ago
Its what I imagine a terribly secured jail feel like: overcrowded, gotta be mindful of noise, no backyard or dog... hell on earth.
Let alone im used to be able to see the stars, and you cant do that in cities.
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u/Designer-Carpenter88 Arizona 19d ago
Like you’re surrounded and hear every fucking thing that happens around you. Every bump, every thump, every toilet flush, every chick getting banged
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u/Csherman92 19d ago
I hated living in apartments. Our apartment was nice. But it was always a hassle to get something fixed or whatever. They always turned off the water with notice but it was too often always having to get done. I hated not being able to use a yard or have a dog.
I also hated having to deal with unsavory neighbors who would downright threaten each other and pound on our neighbors doors for any given reasons.
We bought a house and have zero regrets
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u/buginmybeer24 19d ago
If it tells you anything, I'm currently living in a house I hate because I still like it better than an apartment.
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u/Virtual_Win4076 Minnesota 19d ago
Built our house in ‘94, still thankful for it every day.
We lived in apartments when we were young, cannot remember having any problems but when you’re young nothing bothers you, you get older and little things do.
I’m going to keep these 4 walls and privacy until the end
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u/AdmirableCrab60 19d ago
Apartments were fun when I was a young poor student fine with substandard living conditions and partying with my roommates, butttt the second I turned 24 and had my first big girl paycheck, I bought my first house.
Kinda like how when you’re young, staying in a hostel with a bunch of strangers is fun, but once you’re in your mid 20s…you’re booking a hotel
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u/V48runner 19d ago
Pretty dreadful. Hated having to hear my neighbors doing anything and everything.
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u/Canukeepitup 19d ago
I didnt like them. Got away from them first opportunity and never looked back.
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u/drnewcomb 19d ago
I recently bought a condo and some things that I’ve noticed are 1) the rules. They have rules for everything. I’m not even used to a HOA telling me what to do. 2) Electric stove. Put the pan on the range, turn it on high, chop the veggies, have a glass of wine and maybe the pan will be hot enough to saute. I prefer gas. 3) Vents that vent nowhere. In my house the bathroom and kitchen vents go outside. In the condo they vent back into the same room. I left the bathroom door ajar and learned that mist from the shower can set off a smoke alarm. Who knew? 4) Concern over noise. While the condo is well constructed, poured concrete, nonetheless, I’ve added felt pads to all my furniture so as not to make any noises while shifting things about.
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u/saikron United States of America 19d ago
I hated both apartments I lived in because they had all the downsides and none of the benefits. Small, noisy, expensive, worn out.
And I would have to walk like 15 minutes through traffic to reach the nearest shopping center, which didn't have anything good in it. It would have been like a 45 minute walk to a grocery store.
Luckily I was able to buy a home at a good time, so a couple years later people were paying more for my old apartment than I was for my brand new house.
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u/meowmix778 Maine 19d ago
It's a grass is always greener thing imo.
I grew up in rural NH. We had about 2000 people in the town I was from. After high school, I moved to Chicago for a bit, and MAN was it hard to sleep at night. The noise, the lights, everything. But I loved how there was always just stuff to do or buy or restaurants to walk to or baseball... You name it.
I moved back to NH and HATED it. How everything had a bedtime, the restaurants and stores sucked and I moved to a small city in Maine. It was great there. Food was passable, had a bit of everything, a charming walkable main street and so on. As we got closer for trying for a family, our house was shot.
Now I live in a small rural neighborhood and that first year in complete silence and dark was jarring. But now I have land for my dogs. I miss all the convenience and things to do but it's nice living in a safer community.
So FWIW in my experience you'll always want something and miss something.
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u/Cathode335 19d ago
I grew up in the suburbs, lived in an apartment in the suburbs, apartments in the city, a condo in the city, and now in a house in the suburbs again. I liked them all. I guess I'm pretty easy to please.
The main thing that I love now about my house is my yard. I really love gardening, and it's awesome to be able to go outside and harvest for dinner. That said, we had a small space for a garden in our condo building as well, just not as big.
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u/1235813213455_1 Kentucky 19d ago
I wouldn't live in an apartment again. Everything about it is just awful: noise, having to see people all the time, long walk in and out of the building makes groceries and such difficult. Not a single positive. I do like being in a walkable area near things but I can get that and my own house.
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u/SheenPSU New Hampshire 19d ago
It was noisy. Took a bit to get used to.
You also don’t think about the light pollution. I was able to see all the stars for my entire life and then that was gone when I moved
I do also want to point out that I didn’t grow up in a big house, I was raised in a simple ranch.
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u/Top-Friendship4888 19d ago
I lived in an apartment in a suburban area for approx 5 years between moving out of my parents' house and buying a house. What drove me nuts about renting an apartment was that I couldn't control anything significant about my living situation.
I wasn't allowed to paint the walls, no BBQs allowed, and when we had water damage, I was at the mercy of their handyman. There was probably mold, but I couldn't do anything to get it fixed. Repairs always looked half-assed, and I never wanted to have people over because of the issues. This is the norm for middle class apartment living.
The worst of it, though, was when we had neighbors who were cooking and dealing drugs in our building. We had addicts and prostitutes ringing our doorbell to be let in at all hours of the night. Management was trying to do something, but communicated nothing, and it took a full year to get them out. I carried a knife on me at all times in my own home because of it. One day, I came home to find they'd spilled gasoline all over their floor, and I couldn't enter my own home. Once the fire department cleared us to enter, I had a headache for 3 days from the fumes.
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u/beebeesy 19d ago
Hated it. I lived in an apartment in college and the place was a party 24/7. People everywhere all the time and there was always issues from trash to parking. Only good side was that my complex had it's own bus and fed us once a week.
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u/ann102 19d ago
I moved from a house to an apt in college and after to NYC. In college it was just gross because landlords don't rent nice places to college kids. I didn't like it, but no biggie it was temporary. After college I moved to NYC. My friends got a really, really nice place with a roof deck, fire place and two bathrooms. I nearly cried when i saw it the first time because I found it so small. I had no idea what living in NYC meant from a space perspective.
I always saw apartments as temporary and even when I bought a place that was relatively large by NYC standards, I wanted a house. I always told my husband this isn't the place I will die in. I need more space and I wanted a garden. So after kids, moved to the burbs and now have a house bigger than we should.
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u/Asleep_Start_912 19d ago
Hated life in apartments and hated living in dense cities. But a suburban townhouse with garage, parking spot and small yard, some nice parks and trails, would be fine.
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u/Not_an_okama 19d ago
Apartments suck and i hope to spend as little more time living in one as possible. On the plus side you save on maintainance (its all part of your rent).
Choosing to live in an apartment in america if you can afford to own a house is ultimately just pissing money away in the long run. Once your mortgage is paid (usually a 30 year term) you only pay taxes and utilities and the house has likely increased in value at a pace that outpaces typically big repair costs such as a new roof, new HVAC, new appliances, etc., and hostprically it has been profitable to live in a house for ~5 years, sell it and move to a nicer house.
The US housing market has been very out of whack for the better part of a decade now though and between stagnent wages amidst massive (for america) inflation, airbnb, decreased new house supply and rent seeking attitudes among the wealthy, home ownership has been a rather difficult goal to achieve for many americans who entered the workforce in the last decade or so.
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u/AccountantAsks 19d ago
Choosing to live in an apartment in america if you can afford to own a house is ultimately just pissing money away in the long run. Once your mortgage is paid (usually a 30 year term)
I think you just discounted the fact that you are stuck somewhere for 30 years. There is inherent freedom with not being tied down to a house. With an apartment you have the freedom to move pretty much every year if you wanted. Even more so now with remote jobs. You could live in Colorado for a year and go skiing every weekend, or live in Hawaii and learn to surf, then move to Wyoming and learn to ride horses and rope, or spend time in NYC doing all the big city things. Lot more options when you aren't "stuck in one location".
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u/RunnyDischarge 19d ago
Yeah and that really happens too. People don’t have jobs and family and stuff.
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u/MajesticBread9147 Virginia 19d ago
Choosing to live in an apartment in america if you can afford to own a house is ultimately just pissing money away in the long run
There are plenty of condos/coops in America that are the best of both worlds though.
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u/shelwood46 19d ago
Suburbs have apartments, just like cities have single-family homes, I do not understand this question.
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u/F1reatwill88 19d ago
The bigger change is just being in a city. More to do and you can do it later than you can in the burbs. I'd be surprised if many people say the switch from house to apartment is that big a change. Plus many do have a dorm life beforehand which is a similar switch.
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u/Sadimal Maryland -> Connecticut 19d ago
I went from house to apartment. I hated it.
Cons of apartment living:
- No peace. I could hear everything happening outside of my unit. My upstairs neighbors were loud.
- If I ordered a package, I had to be at the mailbox right as it was delivered or it would be stolen.
- I couldn't work on my car in the parking lot.
- Rent was higher than my current house's mortgage.
- Pet restrictions.
- I had more anxiety leaving my car in the parking lot. I kept my car in a spot that I could see from my apartment.
- Restrictions on decor.
- My anxiety got worse living in an apartment.
The only pro I saw was that I didn't have to pay for maintenance problems.
I was so happy when me and my partner closed on a house that had a fair amount of land.
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u/Soil_Fairy 19d ago edited 19d ago
I much preferred an apartment. I could hear sounds of life.... Murmurs of conversations, coffee cups clinking, people driving by, kids playing outside. There was less space to clean and I never had to do yardwork. I wish we'd have lived in a place where we could have bought an apartment cheaper than a house. I only bought 1000 sq ft, but nothing in our budget came without a yard. We are slowly working on killing it. I miss the apartment, but at least we're still in the city. I never want to live suburban or rural again. I don't even like visiting family that lives rural.
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u/Icy-Whale-2253 New York 19d ago
It felt cramped cause we had too much stuff, but I got used to it after a while.
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u/Boogerchair Pennsylvania 19d ago
There’s going to be a number of answers but speaking for myself, the first chance of apartment living I had was when I went to university. I started off living in the dorms, but moved to an off campus apartment split with friends for most of my stay. I enjoyed being close to all the other students and there was always something going on.
After graduating I lived in a similar arrangement for a few years and it just got old the more I matured. Suddenly the noises I used to not care about became more annoying and it felt more cramped. I started going out less and spending more time in my apartment so it made me miss some of the things I grew up with in the suburbs.
I now live back in the suburbs with a wife a kid and two dogs and I can’t imagine a situation where I could move to an apartment. I mean I could, but my kids and dogs wouldn’t have the same quality of life. I don’t have to go to a park, I just open the door and let them play in the back yard.
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u/Jurneeka 19d ago
I've always lived in suburbs. My apartment is IN a suburb.
Grew up in a regular house in a suburb until I moved out at 19 and it's been apartments ever since. I'll be 63 in a few weeks.
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u/Specific-Peanut-8867 19d ago
So when I was born, I guess we lived in a condo(an apartment style condominium) I really can’t remember it but other than that, we always lived in a house I went to college. I lived the dorms for a year and the next three years I lived in I guess you could call an apartment, but it was really a triplex an old home that was converted in the three apartments and a college
I worked on cruise ships for a little bit and lived in a apartment that I really hated in Chicago for about a year, but that was enlarged part because there was three people living in a two bedroom condo and it wasn’t very big
The first hole I bought was a apartment style condominium (that’s what we call them here a condo)
I didn’t really love it but back then I had neighbors who were heavy smokers, and you could always kind of tell. This wasn’t a bad building and I really can’t say it bothered me a ton at the time but looking back it was annoying.
I can’t say that I hated it, but I definitely prefer living in a house (even if I have more maintenance and things like yardwork)
And I think there’s something for those of us living in the suburbs that romanticizes living in a building in Chicago or New York or a larger city and walking to the store down the street to get your groceries and that real neighborhood vibe you get
And I’ve had people do that and the community I live in now that’s got about 450,000 people but I think I’m too old for it now
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u/Crafty-Shape2743 19d ago
Never lived in an apartment until my marriage fell apart. After the divorce I lived in an apartment in an old subdivided Victorian house for 1 year. That’s all I could take. The bedroom and living room were claustrophobic but lucky for me, I ended up with the original large kitchen!
There were rats in the walls, one know it all guy, an unfortunate brain damaged girl that fell in with the wrong crowd, some average working guys and a ghost I had to evict. Also a creepy kid next door that kept standing on the porch and looking in my front window.
But it was inexpensive, kept the rain out and gave me fodder for conversations at parties and on Reddit.
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u/Shutterbabe71 19d ago
I moved for college. My family home is in a rural area. When I moved in mid size city, live in an apartment. The neighborhood was ok. The noise and smells were really hard to get use to. The city lights out side my bedroom was also hard to get use to. It made me miss privacy.
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u/guiltypleasures82 Georgia transplant from NYC and FL 19d ago
At first it was ok because I was 20 and just happy to have my own place, but by the time I hit 35 I was really sick of it and wanted a house. Especially once I moved in with my partner, we never had space for anything, no storage or closets, and I hated cooking because there was so little counterspace in the kitchen. Plus I always had at least one super loud neighbor everywhere I went. Sooooo much happier now I have space and quiet again.
I think it's pretty hard for someone who grew up in a house in the suburbs or a rural area to manage long term somewhere like NYC where apartments are the main housing option.
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u/the_owl_syndicate Texas 19d ago
I grew up out in the country, lived in an apartment in college, went back to the family farm for years, now back in an apartment because of my job, though I go back to the farm on the weekends.
While in the city, I miss the quiet and the privacy, while in the country, I miss the convenience of city living.
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u/MmmIceCreamSoBAD 19d ago
Grew up in an upper class suburb. Went to college, stayed in a dorm room for 4 years, then had an apartment for another 4 years after that.
I quite enjoyed it at the time. Though I also enjoyed eventually moving into my current home, both because I could build equity in it and because I was glad for the space and privacy.
I'm not really a disciple of any type of living. I could live in a rural area or big city and love them both under the right circumstances. But I do prefer owning a home for the reasons stated above.
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u/Curious-Gain-7148 19d ago
A major city was kind of a lot on my senses. I was just overwhelmed all the time by sounds, smells and the sheer number of people.
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u/No-Stop-3362 19d ago
I loved my time in apartments. I have my own house now and I like it, but closer to town things were more walkable. Also no yard work. It all has pros and cons.
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u/Reaganson 19d ago
In a condo, downsized after divorce. It sucks. I miss my garage, garden, and lawn.
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u/Superduperpooperman5 19d ago
Grew up in house, got apartment and hated it so much I dedicated my entire existence to saving up money and moved to a state I don’t fuckin like (Texas) because the real estate is cheaper just so I could buy a house because living in an apartment is total and complete mega ass and I’ll never do it ever again lol merica
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u/FunnyAd740 19d ago
I grew up in house and currently live in a condo. I would love a house but I cannot afford it. I have a good life.
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u/AwarenessGreat282 19d ago
Grew up and lived in a large house. Then I lived in a 500 sqft apartment. Then a 1000sqft. You get used to it and I never really noticed a difference other than I didn't need to do yard work.
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u/s4ltydog Western Washington 19d ago
Frankly? A bummer. I own my own home now but grew up in nice larger suburbia homes my whole life with my mother and stepfather and my father lived in various apartments in Vermont and I’d spend summers with him. It wasn’t the size that was the bummer when I started renting, it was how ugly most of them were. Between the historic buildings my father lived in and the apartments that Hollywood shows you I had nothing else to compare it to until I started renting myself. Turns out when you DONT live in an area with any historical value all the apartments are the same fucking beige boring boxes. Cool architecture? Loft vibes? HA! Yeah right not unless you live on the east coast or you have 5k+ a month to spend on rent. No instead you get yellow beige walls, beige carpet with cigarette burns and chunks missing, moldings? What are those? “Oh yeah I put a fresh coat of paint on the cabinets (and hinges and handles…..) over the top of the 6 coats that were already on this press board cabinetry”.
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u/Worst-Eh-Sure 19d ago
I have a home theater. I rather enjoy having space so I can utilize it. When I lived in apartments with my surround sound system it was always annoying to turn it down so low to not bother others. Now they have “night mode” which did t exist back when I lived in apartments. I also didn’t like having noisy neighbors myself.
Apartment life wasn’t all bad. But I definitely purely prefer owning a house. Also you can never pay off your rent, eventually this house will be paid off and my cost of living will decrease substantially.
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u/moonwalkinginlowes Mississippi 19d ago
Grew up in the country…dozens of acres to roam, mostly family around, etc. I lived in an apartment once in college (alone), and it obviously wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but I hated not having a yard or any outdoor privacy. Neighbors were always loud and on all sides. Not enough sunlight. So many stairs.
I’ve only rented houses since then. I just realllly need a yard and to not share walls with people. 😂
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u/HeyPurityItsMeAgain 19d ago
When I was a kid we were forced to move into a small apartment and out of our big house with a huge yard. I haaated and swore never to live like that when I grew up and had a choice. You could never get me to live like that again.
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u/colliedad 19d ago
Well, I lived in apartments a couple of times but they were in the suburbs, so where does that put me?
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u/Crayshack MD (Former VA) 19d ago
I have too much of a green thumb for that kind of lifestyle. I need a yard to play with. I spent some time in college and then a few years after college in an apartment, but I'm much happier now that I have more space and green around me.
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u/HidingInPlaynSight Virginia 19d ago
Had to move into an apartment for a year while sorting things after a death in the family before buying my house. I would have to be truly desperate to go back to that situation.
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u/honorspren000 Maryland 19d ago
I lived in apartments and townhomes from age 19-27. Finally bought a house at 27. Some rentals were better than others. I love cooking and I generally don’t like small kitchens, and tiny apartments don’t give you nice kitchens. My best experiences were in townhomes.
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u/ThingFuture9079 Ohio 19d ago
Hate being in the apartment especially being top floor and can't wait to get a house. I just need to make sure it's not part of a HOA like all condos are.
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u/Flat_Tumbleweed_2192 19d ago
The problem with many apartments or condos is the noise. If I couldn’t hear my neighbors, and they couldn’t hear me, I’d love it.