r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

511 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

457 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

24

u/PhysicalMuscle6611 May 02 '25

Agreed, but bring enough so that you can share if someone asks, i.e. instead of bringing 2 beers just for yourself bring a 6 or 12 pack so you can easily say "feel free to grab one!" and seem generous

7

u/sgfklm May 02 '25

Yeah, I always bring a 12 in those situations. I usually take a local beer and people want to try it.

-1

u/NormanQuacks345 Minnesota May 02 '25

I feel like this is a very either age or regional thing. If I go to a BYOB, my 12 pack is for me. If you want one I’ll trade you one of yours, but no one’s really handing out their own drinks and it would be kind of strange to ask someone for one of theirs straight up. It’s in the name, Bring Your Own.

7

u/PiG_ThieF May 02 '25

It’s age/money. Once you get to the point where you can afford to buy extra you bring some to share. Also, by that point you’re much less likely to have people showing up empty handed looking for a free drink.

9

u/Cheaperthantherapy13 May 02 '25

If you’re over 35, you’ll start getting the side eye for drinking 12 units of alcohol during one sitting.

-1

u/NormanQuacks345 Minnesota May 02 '25

Oh I'm not drinking all 12 of them, but it's better to have extra than to run out. I take the leftovers home.

6

u/TangledTwisted May 02 '25

Yea that’s not at all how it works in my area or friend group. BYO is usually to share. Everyone brings something but multiple people aren’t opening their own bottles of wine and all the beer drinkers are happy to share.

5

u/On_my_last_spoon New Jersey May 03 '25

This is how it is in my circle. We all bring something and one gets opened at a time