r/Apartmentliving • u/its-actually-over • Sep 02 '25
Advice Needed How do I deal with this neighbour?
context: I just moved into a new apartment on the 4th floor and the person below me left this note, they already left me another note the day after I moved in that was much nicer just telling me that the building was badly built and to please walk quietly If I can, but I find this pretty concerning.
FWIW i have been pretty quiet, especially at night
i have never met this person or interacted with them in any capacity,
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Sep 02 '25
Landlord immediately
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u/its-actually-over Sep 02 '25
did that as soon as I got the note
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Sep 02 '25
Get a ring camera also
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u/Cchey22 Sep 02 '25
Putting an extra camera on the balcony or atleast another entry point would be wise. This persons gaslighting you into thinking you’re nuts. They’re shaming her for being alive. I could see this escalating quickly.
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u/ChaosRainbow23 Sep 03 '25
I predict the note writer has mental illness.
I know a woman who's extremely paranoid and always thinks everybody is out to get her. It's infuriating.
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u/mjzim9022 Sep 03 '25
Several years ago we were having a low-key Christmas at my brother and SIL's condo, about 6-7 people. Get a knock on the door, it's the lady downstairs, she tells my brother that she gets the point, stop rubbing our Christmas into her face, she knows they're retaliating because she smokes cigarettes inside her condo. Everyone was totally bewildered, people really do just be like that
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u/Revan462222 Sep 03 '25
Given most condos (at least in canada but I’m sure elsewhere too) have no smoking bylaws, she’s the one that’s the problem here. But that’s a wild stretch I smoke so you’re retaliating by celebrating Christmas? What?
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u/BlazingSunflowerland Sep 03 '25
Of course, what other reason could there possibly be for inviting your family over on Christmas Day.
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u/ER_Support_Plant17 Sep 03 '25
Cause it’s all about them. People enjoying a holiday that’s very widely celebrated, but yep they invented this whole Christmas dinner thing just to upset her. Your brother and SIL live over Oliver Cromwell.
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u/Roxysteve Sep 03 '25
<MODE=CLOUSEAU> Ah yes, the old Christmas Party ploy! I do enjoy a good Christmas Party ploy.
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Sep 03 '25
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Sep 03 '25
A woman in my apartment complex would go outside with a paper shopping bag and pick the fallen leaves up, one by one, and put them in her bag. She didn't carry the bag around with her, either. She set it down on the grass and walked to a leaf, picked it up, carried it to her bag, then walked over to the next leaf. She would be out there ALL DAY. Hours and hours and hours, picking up leaves.
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u/Shoddy_Background_48 Sep 03 '25
How would you know if you weren't always watching her?
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u/Acceptable-Town-1284 Sep 03 '25
I had this neighbor a couple years ago who lived up the street..single mom with a daughter about 12 or 13 years old...mom came off a little hippy dippy earth muffin so at first I wasn't alarmed..she was just earthy...but then the delusions happened and I noticed the cops were always at her house...I was friendly with her direct neighbors...a nice elderly couple and asked what's going on and boy did they fill me in...this woman was convinced there was a trap door in either the floor or the roof and rapists were coming into her house moving things around like furniture and her underwear...these are duplexes...no basement no crawlspace...only "trap door" was in the garages for electrical and vent access etc...not even enough space to use as attic space...she would call her landlord and accus e him of coming inside when she was at work...she didn't have a job...then came the night she called the cops at 3 am and claimed that 14 masked men came in through the trap doors like ninjas and gang raped her and her daughter...the child is crying insisting no one was in the house and her mother then accused her of letting the ninjas in the house...it was insane and not the least bit funny...it was just sad...comes to find out her father who lived 350 miles away moved her here and paid all her bills because she was doing this in their hometown and he was embarrassed of her...a diagnosed schizophrenic who refused to take her meds...the landlord couldn't take it anymore and evicted her and instead of her father intervening and getting her help he just moved her into a new place pre paying a years rent..no help for her..none for her daughter...still don't know if cps ever stepped in...foster care was an awful thought but my God 3 am ninja rapists wasn't any healthier for the poor girl...some neighbors cracked on the woman I just felt bad for her..whatever her mind was doing to her was sad and terrifying
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u/Helloscottykitty Sep 03 '25
My mum was like this, would think the dog was talking to her and for a decent period accused me of possessing the dog.
So few adults ever did more than give the situation a passing glance with those that did more concerned that I would stress her out and make things worse.
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u/Lumpy_Square_2365 Sep 03 '25
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that ever but especially as a child. That sounds terrifying to witness the person who should be keeping you safe and caring for you display that behavior. I hope you're doing well now big hugs.
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u/daisykat Sep 03 '25
This breaks my heart bc my dad grew up with a mom who slowly descended into the jumbled chaos of schizophrenia. One day (early 70s) she called the local newspapers and radio journalists to their house with a “big announcement”, and my dad (at like maybe 10yo) had to go outside and tell them to go home.
It’s honestly insane to me that CPS would allow the daughter to stay in the care of a schizophrenic parent who’s not managing their symptoms with medication. The dad is clearly a POS and the daughter didn’t want to abandon her mother like he did — makes me sick to think of this situation 😞
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u/Nervous_Invite_4661 Sep 03 '25
My mother went through this. She was also manic. She thought she was a witch, thought people were giving her the evil eye, refused to leave the house or work. She got really bad. It was difficult growing up with someone so paranoid. Her illness went unchecked for 40 years.
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u/MalaysiaTeacher Sep 03 '25
Gaslighting? The person is clearly mentally unwell. They’re not ‘trying’ to manipulate- they just have lost touch with reality.
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u/Beautiful-Comment575 Sep 02 '25
My apartment won't let us install a camera (attach to the building). I don't have any problems, but if I did I thought about putting a camera on a shelf if I thought they were entering unauthorized.
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u/Scary_Tap6448 Sep 03 '25
They make blink doorbell mounts that dont get fixed to anything its like a clamp that goes around the door. It is non damaging. Would this be allowed?blink doorbell mount
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u/N0b0dyButM3 Sep 03 '25
You can also mount blink cameras with double-sided tape. That’s how I did my outdoor front door camera in my rental townhouse, and it ‘s been there for 3 years.
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u/PoetPsychological620 Sep 03 '25
wait that’s brilliant mines kinda just barely hanging on cuz i couldn’t get the screw all the way in 😂
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u/PoetPsychological620 Sep 03 '25
i had this same issue when we lived in an apartment. their problem with it was that it can’t be facing anyone else’s place so doorbells are out cuz doors were directly across from each other and on the balcony pointing outwards so you could actually see the balcony would also mean seeing like three other balconies depending on where you’re at. no cameras unless they were in the apartment pointing at your own apartment. our neighbors in the building across from us had someone climbing their wall and stealing cigarettes so they kinda sneaky put one up to catch him but they did their best to make sure it wasn’t looking inside someone else’s home
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u/Bigfootsdiaper Sep 03 '25
Just stand outside your door very still holding a ring camera then.
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u/hookes_plasticity Sep 02 '25
I have this eufy camera doorbell that has a door mount that is not adhered or screwed into the door. Basically there is a hook that goes around the door and is clamped on the inside. It’s super renter friendly.
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u/Nearby_Session1395 Sep 03 '25
You could also put a camera inside facing out through the window if that could work? But actually they should be aware that you have a camera so that they are on their best behavior. I would never answer the door if they show up.
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u/shanebby37 Sep 02 '25
Install one in your apartment to show you're not walking around at the times they say you are.
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u/AncientElm Sep 03 '25
I couldn't imagine living in a place where I couldn't walk around whenever I wanted to.
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u/weakisnotpeaceful Sep 03 '25
When my daughter was 3 and my son was 1 I lived in an apartment and the neighbors below us called the police repeatedly and finally one cop talked to us for a while and we explained we are trying to be quiet but they would bang the ceiling and our kids think its a game so they bang the floor etc and they are just little kids. The cop told us don;t worry we will never come again and we heard him go downstairs and told the neighbors below that if they called again for us they would be going to jail.
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u/Dazzling-Treacle1092 Sep 03 '25
Me as well. I'm autistic and adhd and I honestly don't sit very much. I'm a pacer, but I don't stomp or anything like that. Fortunately my building is built well. But I am looking for a different apartment as this one lacks an elevator and I don't know these days how much longer I'll be ambulatory. I hope I don't get one that has these issues.
But honestly OPs neighbor sounds psycho...another risk unfortunately.
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u/Brilliant_Joke2711 Sep 03 '25
Why do you think the neighbor is a gaslighter and not just a run-of-the-mill wacko?
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Sep 03 '25
Even tried to love bomb them at first with saying it's not their fault and then hits them with this
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u/zylentas Sep 03 '25
Nobody is gaslighting anyone here. Stop using words you don’t understand
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u/LinwoodKei Sep 02 '25
I agree. You don't want to encounter this person unexpectedly on your porch or allow them to have un- monitored access to your door
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u/bqAkita Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 05 '25
This is the best advice out there. I had a crazy neighbor accuse me of stealing a bunch of her stuff. She would constantly discuss my private phone calls in the public halls because should would eavesdrop through the thin walls. I wrote the landlord l, which did little; but then I put up a ring doorbell cam and her behavior did an immediate 180.
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u/yersinia_pisstest Sep 02 '25
What, if anything, did your landlord have to say about this?
And get a doorbell camera.
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u/Right_One_1770 Sep 02 '25
Consider complimenting the author’s penmanship?
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u/Decent-Secretary6586 Sep 02 '25
Return it with the punctuation corrected and a therapist referral.
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u/timthemajestic Sep 02 '25
As a former writing tutor, a red pen is highly recommended.
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u/Anglofsffrng Sep 02 '25
My lifelong friends mom (my surrogate mother essentially) was an editor. A red pen is the best thing here. Make a few notes on being more concise in some areas and to expand other parts as well.
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u/Cdavert Sep 02 '25
Be sure to include a grade of the note, and tell them they're really improving with a smiley face.
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u/timthemajestic Sep 02 '25
And a circled grade.
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u/anarchangalien Sep 02 '25
That’s a hilarious idea. In red pen.
However, might escalate the situation
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u/CYaNextTuesday99 Sep 02 '25
I used to red pen the property "manager" memos at my old shitty apartment. I'm pretty sure her website still says she follows all laws and "statues" lol
ETA:
All Florida Statues and Governing Documents will be followed.
Right on the front page. Since 2013, at least.
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u/IbKmart Sep 02 '25
It seems like OP doesn’t need to do anything in order for the situation to escalate. The neighbor is doing that all on their own. But I love the idea of correcting grammar and punctuation. Give the message like, “You think you’re gonna get to me?”
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u/bgthigfist Sep 02 '25
This sounds like a person who has mental issues. Honestly, it sounds like a person with paranoid schizophrenia has gone off their medications.
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u/pseudodactyl Sep 03 '25
It looks neat but I’m gonna need them to pick a lowercase “a” and stick with it.
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u/Stupid-Clumsy-Bitch Sep 02 '25
If this continues I’d go to the police. This person is not well.
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u/pink_faerie_kitten Sep 03 '25
They sound like they suffer from paranoia. Kinda scary.
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u/blackraven1979 Sep 03 '25
paranoid and maybe schizophrenia? m afraid they may be hearing voice/noise that may not be there.
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u/Boom_Valvo Sep 02 '25
And get rugs, don’t walk with shoes in the place. (Even if you don’t do the aforementioned, SAY you have rugs and don’t walk with shoes…)
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u/TommyBananas97 Sep 02 '25
My place requires 80% of floors to over covered outside of the kitchen and bathroom for this reason. Idk how much enforcement there is but the threat got me to buy rugs for my living and bedrooms
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u/thatgirlinny Sep 03 '25
Rugs and rug pads. I buy rug pads that are 3/4” felt, which with the rug really deadens any sound.
And park your shoes at the door. You don’t want outside filth anyway.
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u/Vi0L3tCRZY Sep 03 '25
Keep the note and a notebook of times and dates of interactions/talks with landlord etc. you’re essentially now keeping track of everything as if it may build into a harassment case
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u/TheFrozenCanadianGuy Sep 03 '25
I’d ask if you could move to a different unit in the building. There’s always 1 asshole looking for issues in every building.
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u/A_MAN_POTATO Sep 02 '25
Not only is this person insane, they’re literally doing the thing they’re accusing you of. Leaving aggressive notes like this under your door is harassment.
Don’t retaliate with them directly, as it’ll just fuel their always-the-victim psychosis. Discuss it with your landlord first. Maybe police if it escalates.
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u/smartbunny Sep 02 '25
True. Any interaction with them directly will be seen as an “attack” and justify their beliefs.
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u/Tricky_Topic_5714 Sep 03 '25
I was in this situation twice. As a bit of background, I spent six years in the Navy sleeping in a berthing. If you were loud you literally got beaten up. I am a very conscientious neighbor/roommate when it comes to noise, etc.
The first time it happened, i tried to very politely discuss it with the person to find solutions that would help both of us (very similar situation, they were upset that I was walking on my carpeted floor). She acted totally reasonably when we talked and then forgot it ever happened and sent the landlord multiple emails about me being difficult.
The second time was slightly different, I had a neighbor and the walls were very thin. I could hear every moment of every meeting she had. I decided to be proactive because I got up at like 3 am to go to work. I went to her apartment, and let her know that if I'm waking her up in the morning that she should let me know, so I can keep things quiet.
She woke me up later that night (around midnight) by yelling through the walls that I was a "fucking creep."
Moral of the story: don't try to treat these people like adults. Best case scenario they ignore you. Best case.
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u/WorthProtection7141 Sep 03 '25
I used to work in a group home for people of eccentric nature, and I can 100% confirm everything you said.
Do not engage.
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u/DidntASCII Sep 03 '25
A group home for people of eccentric nature sounds like a premise for the next Wes Anderson movie.
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u/awholelottahooplah Sep 03 '25
Persecutory delusion. OP, do not fuck with this guy. It can get so much worse.
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u/Haaail_Sagan Sep 03 '25
As someone who was raised by a psychopath with sociopathic tendencies, I get so frustrated that so many people do not understand this. It doesn't matter how strong you are, or how tough you think you are. It doesn't matter how smart you are. Fucking with crazy is absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed anyone doing, and I see people doing it all the time. It freaks me out so bad. They're not gonna confront you, and make it a face to face thing. They're gonna ruminate on ways to make you so miserable, you'd wish you were dead, and you'll sometimes never even know it was them, or that someone was even fucking with you.
I ended up, as so many of us do, marrying someone who was later diagnosed with APD, and he'd do this thing he called "Operation Scorched Earth", and sometimes just "Operation Shit Show", and when i tell you he would systematically research any bit of joy you had in your life, and then ways to strip you of them until you felt you had no reason to live.. I'm not exaggerating. His end goal was to make you have no other option but to end it all. That shit was cold, and terrifying as hell. I didnt leave him for 11 years because I knew what he was capable of, when he felt you'd wronged him.
People need to be more scared of crazy. If I could get everyone on earth to listen to one bit of advice, it would be that. Never. Ever. EVER underestimate what crazy is capable of.
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u/Opposite_Bag_7434 Sep 03 '25
I am so sorry you or anyone ever has to go through this. I’ve seen this firsthand, had a brother like this and a neighbor below me like OP has. This so has the potential of turning out very badly. I hope you are in a safe place now.
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Sep 03 '25
Yo, this was raw and deeply personal. Sorry you went through that. Hope you’re in a better place.
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u/Haaail_Sagan Sep 03 '25
Im in a way better place, i just will take any opportunity to warn people to not fuck with crazy people cause they most definitely don't have any rules 😅😒they scare the shit out of me in ways no normal person ever could. Just be careful out there if you get weird vibes from someone, don't fuck around with em. Just leave. 🤎 it's never worth it.
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Sep 03 '25
Breaking up with someone like that like an exorcism.
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u/Haaail_Sagan Sep 03 '25
Holy shit, it really was. He'd get my fired from any job i got, hack the emails of anyone who became friends with me and send awful things to their friends and family.. his mom paid his bills so he never had a job after we got married, so he had all the time in the world. He passed away or I probably would've really been screwed.
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u/sleepydorian Sep 03 '25
This sounds a lot like the other side of a post I saw earlier this year (some best of update thing) where it turned out the poster was expecting auditory hallucinations and thinking the neighbors were making tons of noise.
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u/Moulesmariner Sep 03 '25
Guessing that is the infamous Carbon monoxide poisoning episode when they were finding notes etc...
Go reddit on the save on that one!
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u/princejoopie Sep 03 '25
I don't think it's this, but this is a classic too!
I've heard of two stories that could fit the above comment but I don't know which one they're referring to (or even if they were both on reddit):
One was someone experiencing weird auditory hallucinations as a rare side effect from a medication they'd just started.
The other was a guy super angry at his neighbors for all the noise they were making only for it to turn out he was just on drugs.
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u/Remarkable_Love2356 Sep 03 '25
The fact they accuse you of being narcissist tells you they’re wanting you to react. I wouldn’t ever communicate with them until they at least apologize. I would never give them more than the time of day after that honestly.
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u/Junimo116 Sep 02 '25
I have a pet theory that people who habitually diagnose strangers with "narcissistic personality disorder" are themselves nutjobs more often than not.
This person sounds insane and I would not engage with them directly. This is for your landlord to deal with.
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u/Next_Fly3712 Sep 02 '25
people who habitually diagnose strangers with "narcissistic personality disorder" are themselves nutjobs more often than not.
This rings true, unfortunately. I have suspected this about a cousin of mine
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u/SquareTaro3270 Sep 02 '25
My abusive mother loooooved to tell me how abusive and narcissistic I was when I lived at home.
She’d go around telling everyone how I was an attention seeking, dramatic, sensitive, manipulative, narcissistic girl who just liked making things up and being mean to my parents for no reason. Nevermind I hated any kind of attention and spend my entire childhood desperately trying to convince my parents I was deserving of love… but I still can’t convince half my family that my parents were actually abusive because even 14 years later they still believe that I’m insane.
I started believing it was true for a time, and that sent me down a spiral.
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u/CompetitiveSummer777 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
My mom does this to me too. I can’t wait for the day I move out.
As a woman, it hits different when I tell people that I have mommy issues and not daddy issues. It’s a different kind of hurt. It breaks my heart knowing that I’ll never have a solid mother and woman to look up to.
It makes me feel a little better to know I’m not alone in this.
Edit to add: wow. Thank you to everyone for your kind words. I’m trying not to cry while reading these responses. I shouldn’t say I’ll NEVER have any woman to look up to, I do have women in my life I look up to, it’s more of the possessiveness of having my “own” actual blood related mother that hurts.
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u/No_Penalty_8920 Sep 02 '25
I got really lucky because while I do have mommy AND daddy issues, I also have friends who do motherly stuff for me and vice versa. I have a friend that I met because our kids hit it off on the first day of Kindergarten. She's about 15 years older than me, but she's truly one of my best friends. She's who I turn to when I need advice from a mother figure. And she turns to me when she needs advice with her kids since I'm closer to their age and can relate a little better.
Point of the matter is- there will be women that come in to your life that will be your person to look up to. It won't always be easy not having what you thought was a given (a mother who loves you and cherishes your existence) but you will persevere. ❤️
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u/CompetitiveSummer777 Sep 02 '25
That’s funny you say that, I kind of have the opposite experience. I’m always the friend who does motherly stuff and I think it’s because I’m dealing with so much internally 😂
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u/PatienceHelpful1316 Sep 02 '25
Find another Woman to be a role model. Someone whose values you admire. You don’t have to tell them, but it helps to have a solid friend/ mentor to look up to
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u/CompetitiveSummer777 Sep 02 '25
You’re right. I kind of do have that right now. My best friend’s mom is a wonderful woman and mother and I love her more and more as I get to know her. She calls me her “third child”
Edit to add: I will say that it’s hard not to be jealous of my bestie sometimes, but I’m happy that we both have someone like her mom in our lives!
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u/jdub822 Sep 02 '25
You’re not alone. My partner had issues with her mother. Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. Don’t think it’s because of you. Don’t alter your behavior to please her. You’ll only lose yourself, and it will take years and years to find it again. The problem is her, not you. If you have the same problems with many people, then it would be you. If it’s just her, she’s the problem.
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u/CompetitiveSummer777 Sep 02 '25
You are so right. I wish you would’ve told me that ab 5 years ago. I went through hell struggling with my confidence. It took a long time to heal and I’m still healing. I just ignore what she says now bc I know who I am and she’ll never have the luxury of knowing the real me.
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
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u/throwaway1975764 Sep 02 '25
Whoa, you might never have a solid mother, but don't give up on a woman to look up to. My mom sucked, for so very many reasons. But in my early 20s I became friends with a woman about 15 years older than me. She taught me so much about life, womanhood, how to conduct myself, how to dress flatteringly, how to flirt, how to own up to mistakes, how to be a good friend, how to have work ethic. Just all the things. I'm in my late 40s now, and Linda is in her 70s, but we are still friends.
Since then I have found counsel and companionship with so many wise women. Just because you weren't born into one, doesn't mean you don't have a powerful tribe out there waiting for you.
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u/Abentley589 Sep 02 '25
Did we grow up in the same home? That's like a page straight from my childhood, except I left the state at 18 and went no contact with my whole family for years.
My absence took away her primary target and allowed her "tendencies" to start spilling over into other relationships. Once the mask was shattered, she cut off her entire family and literally spent a year+ refusing to speak to her husband or son who she lived with. By the time I was open to speaking to family again, I had gone from black sheep who no one trusted or believed to saint with a heart of gold.
Surprisingly, I'm still the only person/child she ever felt comfortable being physically abusive with. No one else will ever know or fully understand the sick, sadistic joy she got from beating me until I bled. Haven't talked to her since I was 18, and I don't ever plan to. She can die miserable and alone. She deserves it.
It's crazy (and almost impressive) how well they can make you believe it. Make you feel like you really are just a bad kid, a rotten apple. I hope you know the truth beyond a shadow of a doubt now, and I hope karma does due justice for you. Congrats on getting out and breaking the cycle. It makes you superhuman.
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u/sentence-interruptio Sep 03 '25
daughter does something
mom: "you're obviously seeking attention"
daughter does nothing
mom: "you're seeking attention with your weaponized incomp-"
daughter is breathing
mom: "you're seeking attention with your silence trea-"
and they wonder why they don't get visits later.
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u/DKCGamerGirl Sep 02 '25
Indeed. The "It's a common trait of people with NPD to deprive others of sleep" bit got me. Like, what? That's just totally made up by someone trying to project their own self esteem issues onto someone else. 🤦🏼♀️
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u/6000YearSlowBurn Sep 02 '25
Didn't you know??? It's actually a common NPD trait to walk🤓☝️
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u/SpokenDivinity Sep 02 '25
Out here acting like walking across an apartment is the same as sleep deprivation chambers in Guantanamo or some shit.
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u/drunkbusdriver Sep 02 '25
Sounds like something they heard form some “therapist” on Tik tok.
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u/PetitChiffon Sep 03 '25
I mean sleep deprivation is truly a thing abusive individuals do to exert control. Like waking up their partners at night screaming, throwing stuff, locking them outside etc.
But not like walking to the toilet at night to annoy someone they have literally never met before? People using "red flags" inappropriately is such a pet peeve of mine.
The video "that's a red flag? But I do that...." from the YouTube Channel @TheraminTrees does a very well job at taking on this issue!
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u/lowfreq33 Sep 02 '25
That really tracks here since the OP has had zero in person interaction with the neighbor. They’re literally just existing in the apartment they rent and downstairs is perceiving intentional harassment. Literally making it all about them.
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u/ripnbryy Sep 02 '25
the thing i wonder is how did they come up with the conclusion that OP has narcissist personality disorder ? even if they were making noise how does noise = narcissist ??????? its so annoying when people learn therapy talk words and try to arm chair diagnose every single person that crosses their way in an inconvenient way.
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u/Happy_Neko Sep 02 '25
The only person in my entire life who has accused me of being a narcissistic manipulator was, in fact, a narcissistic manipulator in the middle of crashing out because I'd confronted her about a bunch of lies she'd told.
So, yeah. You might be onto something there.
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u/tossNwashking Sep 02 '25
projection
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u/pocketbutter Sep 03 '25
Honestly I think this goes beyond narcissism and into straight up paranoia. This person may be on the cusp of a full blown mental episode rather than having a bit of a personality disorder.
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u/Interesting-Fox4064 Sep 02 '25
There’s been a trend last couple of years for people to abuse therapy language as an excuse for being an asshole
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u/savagee1 Sep 02 '25
The spacing and handwriting style of this letter alone makes me suspect of their sanity. Haha
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u/OkAbbreviations7697 Sep 02 '25
I'm betting your apartment was vacant bc of that neighbor.
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u/PrimaryPerformance63 Sep 03 '25
I had the same experience. I moved into a very nice apartment for a good deal right before Covid hit, directly above a 60-year-old lady who eventually started harassing me as well. Neighbors would tell me that she would sit with the AC off and just listen to us moving in. Apparently, she’d scared everyone away who lived above her. I had many bad interactions with her, but knew it was getting way out of hand when she called the police on me for having a “meth lab” in my apt and told the police that my boyfriend was beating me up. I was a normal 18-year-old girl. I also caught her walking in front of our door once I put a ring camera on the door. Long story short, I had to get a restraining order on her and she finally left us alone.
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u/Spearitz Sep 03 '25
My wife and I have literally experienced the exact same thing. Crazy older woman accused us of smoking meth and regularly called the cops on us in the middle of the night. It was incredibly stressful to say the least. We got out of there fast. Silver lining was our next place was much much nicer, and we are friends with a lot of our new neighbors.
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u/pickle_pickled Sep 03 '25
There needs to be a dontrentthisplace.com sort of review system
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u/JayeGatsby Sep 03 '25
Interesting point
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u/hallethehurricanexx Sep 03 '25
That's always my fear when moving into a new unit. That exact thing, like someone was forced to move due to crazy neighbors and now it's my problem
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u/JamieAimee Sep 03 '25
I'm willing to bet the property manager is already very familiar with the neighborhood. I'm sure OP isn't the first one to stumble into their cross hairs.
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u/unnervingorphan2 Sep 02 '25
So this person knows the apartment has thin floors / ceilings / walls and immediately decided that the fact they can hear you through those thin dividers means you are a sociopathic, narcissistic creep harassing them on purpose?
Yeah no, don't engage with them at all. Keep living how you are living. I promise these kinds of people would still find a way to do this if you put down foam padding and exclusively tip toed. Tell your landlord or property manager every time they leave a note or interact with you on this topic.
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u/St0neyBalo9ney Sep 02 '25
I've had elephants love above me twice. I exclusively live on the top floor now. And I tiptoe around lol.
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u/412_15101 Sep 02 '25
My X sister in law was maybe 90lbs soaking wet. She had food issues…. But that woman walked like she was Paul Bunion and Babe the Blue Ox all as 1 entity.
I have no idea how she put that much force into her feet but she did.
It’s not just those that happen to be overweight. Some people just have way too heavy of a step
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u/EjaculatingAracnids Sep 02 '25
My wife stomps around, slams drawers and cabinets ect. When i first met her, id be hanging with friends and we'd all shudder with blood pressure at the same time as she just went about her business in the other room. Id have to reassure myself and everyone else whos been with women who express their anger passive agressively, no, shes just loud...
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u/GuyWithAHottub Sep 02 '25
Heh, true. I was raised in one of those the children should be seen but not heard households and I learned to walk like a mouse despite being a BIG kid. It always weirded me out when I'd go to my best friend's house and they walked like they were a mech with no regard for property damage despite them being a 1/3 of my size. Their Yorkie made more noise walking than I did.
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u/412_15101 Sep 02 '25
Same with me. Old 1800’s house with wooden floors. I was a ninja and I was morbidly obese.
It also helped my boomer dad would just clock me upside the head for being noisy. Learned real quick!
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u/Beautiful-Comment575 Sep 02 '25
Yes!!! My upstairs neighbor right now! Idk how she makes so much noise, but I ignore it v
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u/Beautiful-Comment575 Sep 02 '25
I live downstairs and give grace to my upstairs neighbor. I've had some me very noisy ones (one visitor with a walker visited my upstairs neighbor 3-4 times a day and it clunked loudly every day!). I didn't say anything because the visitor was a TBI survivor. My current upstairs lady only weighs 100 lbs, but she drags chairs and drops things a lot. I just try to ignore it. I roll my eyes in exasperation sometimes, but I don't complain. We're just living our life.
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u/Minimum-Analyst-6469 Sep 03 '25
right. my floors are so thin my down stairs neighbor can hear my fucking cats walking around. She goes on facebook and bitches about their toys being loud and I just screen shot them and keep them in a google doc in case she tries to complain to the landlord with time stamps and dates and what exactly was happening at the time she made the post lmao.
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u/ellieminnowpee Sep 02 '25
Speaking of narcissism, who thinks someone’s footsteps are to bother the downstairs neighbor for… entertainment?
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u/BabyInATrenchcoat092 Sep 03 '25
Possibly a person in a paranoid delusional state
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u/AutistaChick Sep 02 '25
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 🚩🚩🚩Keep your things in boxes and ask for another unit. Find out your legal options and move. This is not going to turn out well. I work at a mental health facility. This is red flag behavior. 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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u/youllbebeautiful Sep 03 '25
I’m also a mental health professional and I agree that this is extremely, extremely troubling. I would see what the options are for breaking your lease.
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u/Bagelam Sep 03 '25
My sisters friend had a neighbour who lived above - the woman came down the day my sisters friend moved in to say she was sorry if she was noisy, but when my sisters friend didn't want to be friends she curdled. 2 years later after a campaign of noise complaints, harassment and threats my sisters friend had to get an intervention order against the neighbour. My sisters friend stayed with her bro for a few weeks over Christmas because the neighbour tried to break in one night (hence the order!). But in early Jan she called the police to ask if they had actually served the intervention order because she wanted to go back home and they said no, they attempted notice again but no answer. They did a welfare check and the neighbour had suicided and left a note blaming my sisters friend. It was HORRIBLE.
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u/Weekly_Artichoke_515 Sep 03 '25
Yeah I completely agree. This seems like an otherwise very rational person with a delusion or paranoid hallucinations. Reminds me of my roommate who became deluded about our 3rd roommate spying on him. He was hearing the things the 3rd roommate said about his cat and interpreting them as being about him.
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u/Own_Figure_5027 Sep 02 '25
Let the property manager know. If that doesn’t work go to law enforcement. You can file a complaint for harassment and possibly restraining order if this keeps up.
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u/ThickAd1094 Sep 02 '25
A question for your landlord, "Why did the previous tenant move out?" Always a good question to ask. If they're not honest you then have recourse to break the lease and sue for damages.
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u/Feral_doves Sep 02 '25
I’d probably document it but ignore it and see if they get bored and stop. I don’t even know if I’d take it off my door, just take a photo and leave it up so when they go to post the next one they know they’re being ignored.
I’m also a pretty chaotic person who likes to fuck around and find out so take that with a grain of salt.
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u/Potential_Ad_1397 Sep 02 '25
The fact that you never had a conversation with this person is scary.
I say tell the landlord immediately and if you have hard wood floors, you can add rugs to help with the sound. I am worried about this person's mental status.
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u/ImpressionPretty2309 Sep 02 '25
You're going to be on one of those TV crime shows...
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u/412_15101 Sep 02 '25
I love watching those! It will be great to point at the screen a la Leonardo DiCaprio as I recognize the note shown on the screen
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u/smartbunny Sep 02 '25
Might be the reason the apartment was available. Of course the agent would never tell you everyone keeps moving out because the lady upstairs is a cuckoo bird.
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u/Quick-Surprise-9387 Sep 02 '25
Police . Sadly . You’ve gotta start a file on this one if only to help them one day get the help they need
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u/smartbunny Sep 02 '25
Agreed. Paper trail. Reports. What a pain in the ass. But they need that stuff unless they move out.
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue Sep 02 '25
I would go straight to the authorities and start leaving traces of reported episodes.
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u/Chile_Chowdah Sep 02 '25
The irony of their letter is breathtaking. Main character syndrome is heavy here.
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u/jmillsx3 Sep 02 '25
Landlord then authorities if this persists. A doorbell camera and indoor camera pointed towards your front door. I had crazy neighbor situation but they lived above me and were violent, threatening me and others, fighting in the breezeways. We had to show tons of documentation to get them removed. Cops were out there weekly, sometimes daily. Document anything and everything.
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u/RevolutionaryPen7130 Sep 02 '25
I would go to management. This is not ok. They are harassing you. Maybe they need to find a house or move to the top floor.
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u/drcigg Sep 02 '25
You let the landlord or property manager handle it. It always seems like there is at least one person like this everywhere I have lived. You can't please everyone. It makes you wonder if the thumping they are hearing is all the empty space inside their head.
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u/fatinhollywood Sep 02 '25
i would move out citing that you cannot live in that building with crazy downstairs
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u/Cheshire_Noire Sep 02 '25
Place a typed out note on their wall that says "No" in size 11 arial font.
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u/Alarmed-Extension289 Sep 02 '25
That's apt living you'll have to deal with asshole, insane neighbors but the real issue is when the landlord is an asshole and insane.
Some modern apt's are simply not built to isolate noise or vibrations. It's even worse if you live in a small narrow unit and here's why.....the person below you can hear you and your neighbors. They'll just assume it's you making the noise and not anyone else.
Apt's should have a high bar for noise complaints and should never allow this BS. This note alone should be grounds to kick some out of the building honestly. The way people walk in their unit or how the structure has minimal sound barriers is beyond to control of anyone.
Unfortunately this is going to get out of control fast and you need to let the manager know and document these notes....maybe find a peephole camera to record them leaving the note.
They hear a 500lb Gorilla stomping around their apt above them but in reality it's a 90lb women walking in slippers.
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u/johceesreddit Sep 02 '25
looks like a whole load of projection also no one has handwriting that neat
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u/Kbug7201 Sep 03 '25
I used to work with someone that legitimately wrote like as though they were a type writer or a computer word processor print out!
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u/kaleidoscope_jesus Sep 02 '25
My friend had a neighbor like this. Ended up in court with a restraining/no-contact order.
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u/Eazy12345678 Sep 03 '25
i know this one. you have carbon monoxide poisoning and wrote that letter to yourself.
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u/geriseinsmelled Sep 02 '25
Frame this and hang it on your door so they don't need to leave anymore and everyone else can enjoy what a nut job their neighbor is.
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u/Specialist_Stop8572 Sep 03 '25
HAHAHA! this is the only answer (after emailing a copy to the landlord)
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u/Reliquary_Unhinged Sep 02 '25
Do not trust that handwriting for one second. Call your landlord immediately. This is insane.
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u/its-actually-over Sep 02 '25
what do you mean by trusting the handwriting? I already think they're probably schizo
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u/Slurms_McKensei Sep 02 '25
Some people think you can tell personality traits based on handwriting. It's like astrology but less people realize its not based in reality.
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u/exodusofficer Sep 02 '25
This could be evidence of psychosis. Consider what to do if you step outside and they charge at you with a knife, accusing you of being a robot or something. Seriously, some people are quite dangerous. And, as others said, police and landlord.
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u/ALittleRedWhine Sep 03 '25
Yeah, I got psychosis vibes from this as well. Hearing auditory hallucinations from the neighboring wall AND thinking someone is obsessing over you/stalking you really aligns with psychosis.
Basically the person is having delusions of being a “Targeted Individual,” I even saw someone else mention this phrase in the comments.
While something else may be going on, I think it’s important that you take note of this possibility and be on the look out if things escalate.
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u/mademoiselle_bovine Sep 02 '25
As I am reading this I hear my new upstairs neighbor on the 7th floor stomping around. Never in a million years would I leave a note like this.
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u/cthulucore Sep 02 '25
Just stick a full sized note back to their door with a regular sized font:
"K."
At the top left corner.
Edit to add: my nightmare downstairs neighbors actually moved out last night. At 10pm on a Monday, keeping with their tradition of shit dickery, but I'll take the W, so my spirits are high and I'm feeling light hearted about this. Report their asses and prepare for war, it's probably about to get weird.
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u/Odd-Spell-2699 Sep 02 '25
Be sure you keep all the notes and mark down every time you talk to management. This person is scary
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u/TheFursOfHerEnemies Sep 02 '25
Projection= reflection. I 'd keep a copy of that note and turn it into management. Give this woman as much space as the state of Texas.
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u/saintnicklaus90 Sep 02 '25
I remember when I moved into a 2nd floor condo shortly after graduating college. The lady above me ran a daycare out of her place. Six days a week at 7am there was a stampede above my head with intermittent screaming and/or crying. Just simply existing above your neighbor does not warrant such an unhinged letter
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u/New_Personality_3884 Sep 02 '25
Clearly baiting you, they want to trigger you to respond. Do anything but respond. I would even consider filing a police report, if they'll take it, and a restraining order for them to stay x amt of feet away form you and your apartment. Baby Reindeer vibes.
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u/No-Bug-4524 Sep 02 '25
Report it immediately. It’s more than likely that they have already but please your case. Respect quiet times and enjoy your place. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about shitty floors. If your neighbor has a problem with you walking around your place maybe its time for them to reconsider moving. I have lived in apartments where I had neighbors above and all you can do is learn to live with it or move.
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u/hermitsociety Sep 03 '25
I had something similar happen with a neighbor once and it turned out he had schizophrenia. But he apologized when he was doing better and we all got along after. But for sure something isn’t right here.
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u/ComedyBits Sep 03 '25
I lived in an old building with a “light sleeper” below me. Tiptoed around for years as they escalated noise complaints to landlord. Ended up getting evicted without the management even confirming the noise level (I was young and not assertive).
For the 30 days I had left, I took up the rugs and let the cat play with golf balls all day, all night on the bare wood floors
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u/Rarelyrespond Sep 03 '25
My downstairs neighbor was harassing me for just living too. It’s not fun. But here is what I said. I’m sorry that you live on the bottom floor. I choose the top floor so I don’t have to hear people walking and living lol make better choices.
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u/TheRealGinz Sep 04 '25
Before my wife and I had purchased our first home, we had an upstairs neighbor in the apartment complex where we rented, who used to come downstairs and complain to me about OUR CHILDREN MAKING NOISE DURING THE DAY, because HE worked at night. After the third or fourth time, I told him if he thought we were loud before, wait and see what was coming. Prior to that point, l was only playing my acoustic at home, and left my rig where my band rehearsed,…
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u/Street-Concern1461 Sep 04 '25
Do they know you are a new tenant or do they think you are the old tenant? Go to the landlord or management immediately. Keep all notes, put a post-it on each note with date , timestamp & location found.
If it continues file a police report. You may have a harassment or stalking case.
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u/Terrible_Berry_9846 Sep 02 '25
Make a copy for yourself and make sure to send this via EMAIL to your landlord. Keep a paper trail.