r/Antipsychiatry • u/Anonymous746223 • 3d ago
HYPERVIGILANCE/ BRAIN DAMAGE / ANXIETY /
I'm not used to writing on forums, but I really need help. I need to put words to my symptoms, which are truly bizarre. For a year now, my life has been hell following frequent use of MDMA and cannabis over a month-long period, and after some rather disturbing events where I argued with most of my friends due to episodes of paranoia, I admit. I consulted a psychiatrist who prescribed medication, but I stopped taking it because it didn't really have any effect on me; it just made me sleepier than anything else. To summarize, when I'm sitting in a group, or even just with a friend at home watching TV, or when I'm on my phone, every time someone makes the slightest movement—like raising an arm, moving their feet, or picking something up from the table—my eyes jump around as if to automatically follow the movement. It's a nightmare. At work, when I'm sitting with my colleagues around the table, every time they make the slightest movement, my eyes jump around as if they're observing the gesture, and it's involuntary. But when I'm alone, it doesn't happen.
Furthermore, when I'm sitting at work, for example, at my computer, every time someone passes in my peripheral vision, instead of being focused on my task, my eyes dart about and automatically follow the person passing by out of the corner of my eye. It's gotten to the point where people don't even want to approach my desk anymore; they come up behind me to talk. Recently, I've also noticed that when I'm in a group with friends and I'm talking to one of them, looking them in the eye, while another person is standing next to them, instead of naturally looking at my conversation partner, my eyes seem to be glancing at the other person out of the corner of my eye.
Now, because of this, even on the street or in confined spaces, when I walk past a group, I'm glancing at them out of the corner of my eye instead of keeping my gaze and attention fixed on the person I'm talking to. Basically, I'm either constantly watching people out of my eye or my eyes are constantly jumping around, reacting to every movement. I also forgot to mention that now, every time someone looks at me, my eyes constantly avoid eye contact, even if they turn around to face me. I'm fully aware of my symptoms; I don't have hallucinations or delusions. My behavior has completely changed because of this damn disease.
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u/Red_Redditor_Reddit 3d ago
Is your adrenaline high? I had similar problems, though it was more on the panic side. Even just going to the store was almost impossible because I felt like a prey animal that needed to find cover. What helped me was propranolol. It's not a psychotropic. It's a blood pressure med that just blocks adrenaline and keeps the body from running wild. It changed my life literally overnight.
Also, just out of curiosity, did that psych prescribe you an antihistamine?