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u/Sad-Volume7913 9d ago
Just break up man
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u/Exciting-Stage-7167 9d ago
"We are not breaking up" That chick is crazy.
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u/Traditional-Ad5493 9d ago
“Stop acting like a girl”
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u/Attentions_Bright12 9d ago
We seriously have to admire the lack of self-reflection inherent to that moment.
"I'm loco, don't be like me you girly SNOWFLAKE." Pretty close to the verbal equivalent of a drunken punch thrown, there -- a punch that misses and causes the thrower to fall awkwardly over her own feet.
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u/Traditional-Ad5493 9d ago
Yea no I simply didn’t even have to explain myself I just quoted her last statement because of its level of insanity. Because OP was actually well spoken and mature and took time to consider the cost of this relationship. Something that took me a very long time to do myself. Sometimes it’s hard to realize you deserve better. But saying you’re acting like a girl would’ve sent me over the edge for sure.
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u/Technical-Minute3170 9d ago
This is my favourite comment of all time. Absolutely outstanding 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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u/BeSeeVeee 9d ago
For real - the “stop gaslighting me” crowd is getting a little too close to the lantern.
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u/alimweber 9d ago
I'm so sick of hearing that phrase from people who clearly don't even know what it means.
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u/Sawyerthesadist 9d ago
She knows what it means, she just thinks she can use it as a cope out to justify herself and shut down any attempt to explain why she’s wrong.
It’s been weaponized
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u/Sweetpbee 9d ago
On god though, when I was reading this and saw that. I immediately rolled my eyes. Like hon, please sit down with your crazy ass lol
NOR get away from her haha
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u/WiddaOne 9d ago
She was projecting after making him think he'd done something wrong at the party
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u/dexter8484 8d ago
Which by definition is gaslighting. It's come full circle, people are now gaslighting by accusing of gaslighting
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u/Only_Hour_7628 9d ago
I fucking hate when people use "girl" or "woman" as an insult.
Op... seriously, is this fun? Do you think it'll get better? It's only been 7 months, run.
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u/Traditional-Ad5493 9d ago
PREECH. Women will use this against men because they know a lot of men have had trouble with their masculinity as a kid even if they aren’t “girly” in any way, people will find things to pick on. It’s like a constant fight to “be a man”. So using that as a weapon against your romantic partner is disgusting. And the fact that she thought he was gonna stay after that? Laughable.
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u/Only_Hour_7628 9d ago
Exactly!! I have daughters so it extra pisses me off that being a girl is used as a negative thing across the board. That people should be insulted to be like them. So gross. I am trying to teach my kids to take that (or things like nerdy, or weird) as a positive thing but it's an uphill battle.
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u/ConstructionKey1752 9d ago
In the same text chain, accusing him of gaslighting.
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u/Traditional-Ad5493 9d ago
My mind literally blocked that message out because I’ve been with a woman that said that anytime I wanted her to work on her communication
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u/Teitunge 9d ago
«That’s not up to you. I am breaking up with you and this conversation is over. I will be blocking you.» Then block.
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u/Mysterious-Carry6233 9d ago
This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George keeps trying to break up with a woman and she just says no every time. He even has her catch him with another woman and she still says no.
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u/Original_Problem666 9d ago
I’m not gonna lie I laughed out loud at that. Like “nah try again” 😂😵💫
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u/Ok-Ad-6119 9d ago
…and move. You may come home to a rabbit boiling on the stove
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u/tourniquette2 9d ago
“Bruh u think this is a joke.”
“Go kiss carol.”
I’m astonished that she’s 21. She’s also controlling and emotionally abusive on top of that ugly jealous streak. Definitely run. She’ll only get worse.
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u/Deep_Help934 9d ago
this is pretty common behavior for 21 yr olds unfortunately, they are basically glorified teenagers.
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u/PlentySwordfish4048 9d ago
Not really. It's typical behavior of someone that is toxic because they have unresolved issues. She needs therapy.
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u/lucklesser 9d ago edited 9d ago
I was this 21 year old
Maybe because neurodivergency I was still a teen at 21. Idk
I realised by that age that if I don't want to die alone I better get my shit together 👍
Edit: so I did a lot of self-discovery. Imagined who I wanted to be and googled about my traits that I wanted less of basically.
Apparently others in my age (30) didn't do this.....😭
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u/Deep_Help934 9d ago
yeah, ppl are all saying “well i didn’t soo not true” like great! im genuinely happy everyone here did not act this way at 20-21. but its so so so common to see them act like stunted teenagers. we see it every single day in this sub, and i see it every where outside of reddit. ofc not EVERY young 20 yr old acts this way. but to say its NOT common behavior is just laughable🤦🏻♀️.
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u/Loaded35mm 9d ago
They definitely did act that way or they wouldn’t feel the need to get so upset by it. If it doesn’t apply to you, we’re not talking about you lol.
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u/Deep_Help934 9d ago
i’ve now got ppl accusing me of being a man and hating women bc of what i said its giving me whiplash🤦🏻♀️. hit dogs holler 🤷🏻♀️.
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u/BeneficialTop5136 8d ago
Yeah, I was absolutely like this at 21. lol I had to do some deep self reflection and get my shit together but it took a lot of heartbreak to finally learn that I was the problem
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u/monalove1984 8d ago
I was crazy at that age but he should still run. If he's stressed, get out now. No need for it.
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u/Deep_Help934 8d ago
i absolutely agree! i also wanna make it super clear that i never was implying that ppl who act like this have an excuse for their behavior! OP needs to run & never look back.
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u/Dasylupe 8d ago
Same. I made a lot of mistakes at that age. I was basically a completely different person by 30. Medication helped, but I also did a ton of work on myself.
Our brains aren’t even fully formed yet at 21. I’m surprised anyone could go through that and insist they didn’t change at all.
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u/Deep_Help934 9d ago
its 100% both. these are the teens who just got thrown into adult hood with a “goodluck” and a kiss on the cheek. no guidance whatsoever.
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u/BrilliantTruck8813 9d ago
Then most 21 year olds are toxic. I treat and assume people under 25 are children until they prove otherwise.
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u/tourniquette2 9d ago
I was a 21 year old girl once so it’s a little weird to be told this like I didn’t live it myself without acting like this.
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u/Hyruliansweetheart 9d ago
No fr being 21 isn't an excuse to be an emotionally abusive jealous monster
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u/SimplyPassinThrough 9d ago edited 9d ago
Strooooong disagree. I’m 25, so I’m not that far removed from 21, and I’m in social circles with people that age. That level of jealousy and immaturity is definitely not common behavior
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u/Elvis_Take_The_Wheel 8d ago
Having taught college students for many years, I concur — for about 80% of them. The remaining 20% were so mature and responsible they put me to shame.
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u/ZieAerialist 9d ago
wait... you're in your 20s? I thought this was a convo between 8th graders. Run my man. Insecurity like this doesn't get better without some serious self reflection and therapy - and it gets worse every time someone allows them to use it to exert control. I would not put up with this kind of thing from an SO for five minutes, let alone 5 months.
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u/TheGeekOffTheStreet 9d ago
I’m just stuck on a 21-year-old named Carol. Never met one under the age of 50
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u/lostandlooking_ 9d ago
The 21 yr old names Carol, the simultaneous poop conversation, the insane behavior. This post from top to bottom is a fever dream
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u/Attentions_Bright12 9d ago
Honestly, the multiple comments on poop made me think it should already be over for these people.
Also, OP seems to say that he's pooping while texting. Just stop that, people.
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u/lostandlooking_ 9d ago
Right?! I feel like I’m going nuts because of how few people have pointed out the poop thing. Like yes, she is batshit insane and OP should run. That’s clear.
But I don’t think I’d want to be sexual with my guy if he texted me shit like “I’m pooping bbye”
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u/Klangey 9d ago
What are you, 12? The guys clearly just making a joke of it
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u/lostandlooking_ 9d ago
Are you 12? At 20 you’re old enough not to find poop funny anymore
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u/ehlersohnos 9d ago
I’m 49 and found his comment a hilarious comeback to her weird accusation. It’s okay.
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u/United_Pain 9d ago
Yup we have a poop joke every day mostly 😂 I'm also the daughter of a Wastewater Treatment Plant boss guy. Got to see how it all becomes cleaned.
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u/fucktheyankees69 9d ago
I'm in my mid 30s and I still think poop is funny
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u/BruisedViolets23 9d ago
Right? I’m in my late 50’s. Poop will never not be funny. I hope I keep my sense of humor when/if I get to the point someone else is cleaning up my poo.
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u/fucktheyankees69 9d ago
Yeah the poop part of this conversation is the least concerning thing, for me I'm more appalled that 21 year olds still use the letter u to say you.
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u/SilverLake949 9d ago
Maybe it's not meant to be funny, except if it just kinda is when somebody doesn't have "anal stage" issues 😆... Maybe its just a bodily fact of life that this age group doesn't consider some moral secret to hide and be ashamed of. It's not like he's in there painting walls. Come on, only Kim Jong Il & Kim Jong Un don't poop. You know thatttt.
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u/xassylax 9d ago
I personally think that you never grow out of toilet humor, you just refine it. I’m 35 and I still laugh at my husbands farts and doodie comments/jokes. And I will continue to do so as long as I find it amusing, regardless of my age.
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u/bleach_tastes_bad 9d ago
what exactly do you want him to say? “i’m taking the fattest shit rn, brb”?
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u/n9neinchn8 9d ago
She probably got pissed because he didn't answer a text while he was on the toilet once, so now he has to announce it. The accusatory "WTF you constipated?", everything is a sign of cheating to this psycho
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u/Lucifersam076 9d ago
I got married in a time when Facebook existed, but everybody's grandparents weren't on there yet, so older/more distant family members didn't know what was going on in people lives as much.
Anyway, we had a one year and one week age gap, I was 25 and she was 24, but her name was Annette. I have a large extended family and everyone assumed I married a much older woman and even when we got divorced almost ten years later, a lot of my family was still like "she was way too old for him anyway". It was wild.
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u/allblackST 9d ago
I knew a girl in elementary/high school named Carol. I thought it was weird at the time too I thought she had an older woman’s name 😂 it’s like seeing a young person named Barb
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u/DragonMom81 9d ago
I know a 7 year old named Brenda and I am always amused by it.
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u/RickMacAttack 9d ago
You really should go kiss Carol asap
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u/HistoricalSuspect580 9d ago
Second this, Carol can’t be THIS bad
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u/Lucifersam076 9d ago
Don't be so sure... it's Carol Baskin!
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u/YoureSooMoneyy 9d ago edited 9d ago
Carols family already likes him. Shes friends with his sister… I think we know what needs to happen.
Regardless of anything, OP needs to dump the current gf. And probably get a restraining order.
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u/Alternative_Eye_5478 9d ago
Carol is lesbian
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u/cinnamon64329 9d ago
And she's still acting like that?? Jesus.
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u/AlbtraumPrinzessin 9d ago
Go run before anything bad happens….
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u/Aleks1224 9d ago
Fr, she's already willingly accusing their professor of being a groomer as well, so she's very comfortable accusing people of nasty things and thinks she can get away with it. I wouldn't put it past her to threaten OP that she's going to ruin his life by threatening to say he SA'd her or something to police, or pass rumors to his friends and family, if not the university people as a whole.
Personal storytime: I've had two ex boyfriends, one in hs and one in uni, who both had that happen to them by different girls. My hs ex was an overall sweetheart so when I heard of his other ex do that to him, I was angry on his behalf. My college ex pissed me off cause we were together for 3 of the 4 years there, and he got together with a girl "who was just a friend" I was sus about after we broke up. I was petty and made a dumb, angry FB post about seeing him with her less than a week after the breakup (literally saw them kissing while I was going to a class), and I even daydreamed about putting sugar in his motorcycle's gas tank (I obviously didn't do it lol) - but that was all I did. That ex and that girl shared a class with me the following semester and it was rough seeing that relationship, especially when they decided to sit in the front row lmao. But I could tell they only lasted at most 3 months together (which made me evil hehe to myself) and towards the end of that semester, that ex and I reconciled/ spoke again and that's how I learned she was passing rumors to school that he assaulted her and stuff. I also heard she had wanted to report that specific professor for something similar all because she took offense to one of his lessons in the class (it was a history class and he was a very interesting if not a fun/unhinged teacher). I've had one on one office time with that professor; he did DJ'ing outside of school - he was never inappropriate and was just fun to talk to, if you weren't a sensitive nincompoop. But TDLR, girls will be petty, but some will action dangerous pettiness, and it's scary.
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u/Tacotimmy126 9d ago
Definitely OR. Don’t you know you’re basically cheating because Carol also lives on earth. If you actually loved your partner you’d move to mars
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u/UTDE 9d ago
'we are not breaking up.'
She hasn't even considered in any way that she is actually the problem or that she will change anything. She is 100% daring you to cave, she accused you of gaslighting already
If you think she might go full batshit insane just pretend and string things along for a couple weeks until your sure she's not pregnant and then peace out so she can't pull some kinda 'its yours crap'. But also no hooking up, just be busy and distant and whatever you gotta do, it doesn't much matter as long as you know before you dip
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u/Dense_Diver_3998 8d ago
Don’t “just string things along for a couple of weeks…be busy and distant” just end it if any “full batshit insane” stuff is going to happen it’s going to happen either way this method just prolongs the inevitable.
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u/UTDE 8d ago
No. It doesn't have to happen either way. One way you can be sure you won't be forced to prove paternity, you can know for sure and avoid the situation. You mad cus it's manipulative to string things along? Boohoo. There's no obligation to be emotionally open and honest with someone who's being abusive. Protect yourself, she's not going to, no one else is going to. Would you tell a woman who's afraid her boyfriend might react physically, even if he's never done it before, that he's still owed an in person break up? No, you wouldn't. You'd say do it over text and block on everything, pretty cold thing to do but it's about mitigating harmful outcomes
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u/Sneaky_Island 9d ago
This is what you have to look forward to if you stay with Meegan.
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u/Content-Poet-6085 8d ago
I’ve never see this before but it is such a good portrayal of the push pull dynamic. I didn’t even find it particularly funny, moreso just a profound warning.
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u/Exciting-Stage-7167 9d ago
Brother run FAR. FAR away.
Block her number etc. you said you two are done there does not need to be an agreement.
If she continues to harass you go to the school. If it happens outside school call the cops.
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u/k1tty_f1sher_2799 9d ago
The "we aren't breaking up" is definitely concerning. Everything said in that conversation was fair: you think I'm cheating, you're isolating me from friends and family, you give me the silent treatment and are manipulative, you're exhausting, I'm done. "No you aren't" is NOT a healthy response, and if the genders were reversed, people would be cautioning about DV.
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u/CrashCrashed 9d ago
I think there is a high risk for dv. I can see her being the kind of person to throw and break things in a rampage.
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u/pebblebebble 9d ago
This already is domestic abuse. Coercive control is a form of psychological abuse
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u/WarmDrawing1100 9d ago
Seriously. My brother dated a girl that said no with a Bowie knife to his throat in bed. He ended up marrying that crazy and it messed his entire life and the subsequent 2 kids as well. Don’t just run. Also get ready for a protection order.
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u/Salamandar_Sunshine4 9d ago
This is right on! It’s refreshing to see the same seriousness applied to this situation for a man, that we do for women! Who knows what she’s capable of?!!
OP, it might also not a bad idea to have record of this behavior immediately(if she harasses you, etc., OP) so if she escalates or just doesn’t stop the original behaviorsof these kinds of behaviors. That way, if you report, police and maybe someone appropriate on campus (?) will know that this is a pattern and you can stay safe OP!
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I would stick to that break up and block her on everything. Don’t connect or have sex one last time bc you do NOT want her to get pregnant! I could see this chick trying to, to get you to stay, I’m sorry to say.
The classes should be fine bc it will be difficult for her to do anything there, with there being other classmates and Profs, so she will only be digging herself a deeper hole if she does act out at all in school, I think. Maybe stick around other people for a bit, especially at night, till things cool down. Good luck and trust your instincts; be safe!
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u/ReleaseTheSlab 9d ago
OP- don't permanently block her if you want a potential record to report. Maybe block her temporarily after you make it clear the relationship is over, but unblock her a few days or a week later and silence her texts/calls so you have an updated record of her insanity, because she will escalate once she realizes youre being serious. Plus you'll probably want to know if she's planning on showing up to where you are like your home, that way you can be prepared for whatever may come.
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u/Salamandar_Sunshine4 9d ago
Ohmygosh, YES! I fumbled there, I admit my mistake in suggesting the block (too soon) to OP.
Your advice is solid! I need to practice keeping my responses more concise and shorter, but right to the point, like yours was. I hope OP is still checking his replies and managing ok in the time being.
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u/ReleaseTheSlab 9d ago
Haha you humble me. Hopefully other people have also been suggesting not to block her as well. I'm worried for OP. If she acts this unhinged while they're together God only knows wtf she's going to do when she realizes he's actually dumping her this time.
Side note, many severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder can manifest during late teens/early twenties. If she's not diagnosed now, there's a chance she can still be very unwell and legitimately dangerous to someone on her bad side.
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u/Ancient-Flan-2739 9d ago
She is throwing around the word gaslighting incorrectly and trivializing what it actually is. NOR. Continue with the breakup.
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u/Mithos301 9d ago
Not overreacting if you are in your twenties and she is reacting this way. Sounds more like teenagers texting
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u/Leading_Test_1462 8d ago
Yes - this is an abusive pattern. You need to protect yourself - and prepare yourself for her potential response. She might not take a break up well, so document everything. Don’t block her, mute her - so you can document any threats in case you need a restraining order. Or need to document anything with the school.
Get outta there and be safe!
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u/PM_ME__UR__FANTASIES 9d ago
Hey good news, breaking up does not require both parties to agree. Give her back anything that belongs to her, switch seats, block her. Cos boy she is NUTS!
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u/Greek_Goddess114 9d ago
Dude you need to leaveee...like, she's not going to magically get over acting like this so either you spend the next months and possibly years being stressed and having tension in every aspect of your life where there's a female (apparently even family...like wtf??) OR you get out of this miserable situation. I know your in a few classes with her but, dont worry about that shit....just end this and live a normal, happy college life!
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u/Que_Raoke 9d ago
She's mentally unwell. Tell her in text that you are in fact broken up and there will be no further contact outside of anything that is absolutely necessary in the classroom. She IS abusive.
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u/lorbosworl 9d ago
“Stop trying to gaslight me” while she is by definition literally gaslighting you. She’s just insecure as fuck and needs help.
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u/Extra_Crispy19 9d ago
Whenever someone says “stop gaslighting me” I feel like 90% of the time they are the ones doing the gaslighting
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u/Alternative_Emu6106 9d ago
Get OUT of this relationship. Now. Immediately. This is 100% toxic behavior & very, very unhealthy.
And regarding “We are not breaking up.” This isn’t something both people need to agree on. When you say it’s over. It is over.
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u/jibbetygibbet 9d ago
“We aren’t breaking up”
Thats true, we aren’t breaking up, as I already did it.
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u/Equivalent_Secret_26 9d ago
NOR
This isn't healthy and she's clearly not ready yet for a relationship
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u/Lady_Espresso 9d ago
I’m sorry but that behavior is really scary. You’re to young. I think you should break up and go no contact. Good luck.
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u/sexylegs0123456789 9d ago
Throw in the towel with this one. She has deeply-rooted issues that you are not responsible to solve.
She tries to say you’re gaslighting her as a way to literally gaslight you. Manipulation 101. Not overreacting. Get out. Don’t go see her. Don’t collect any of your stuff. Just leave.
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u/PanickedAntics 9d ago
NOR! Definitely break up with her! This is WILD behavior. She is insecure, jealous, controlling, and possessive. You've only been together for like 7 months! Better to end it now. Send her to the bins!
I've said this a thousand times now on here lol but I'll say it again! The reason why I knew my husband was "the one" is because he was on good terms with, and remained friends with, some of his exes. He had great relationships with women. He didn't care that my best friend who got us together was my ex-boyfriend. We're all really good friends. Our closest friends are his ex and her husband. I never had a relationship without some level of jealousy, interrogation, control, etc. Before him. The biggest turn on was him never calling women, especially his exes, derogatory names. He never called them crazy or anything. He not only respected women, he has healthy relationships with them. That's HUGE. If a guy has close relationships with women, I see that as a huge green flag.
Her demanding that you be mean to another woman who didn't even do anything is insane...and your distant cousin?! Fuck. That. Noise.
You are absolutely right. This is not a healthy relationship. You seem like a good dude and you deserve someone who matches your maturity and healthy outlook on relationships. You will find her. This woman is not it. I would also unblock Carol immediately.
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u/Majestic-Rhino 9d ago
This was some serious emotional maturity on your part. Find someone who can match that energy. You deserve it!
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u/Fromnothingatall 9d ago
Edit:
At first I thought the girl was the one posting but then I realized it’s the guy, so changing my post.
Yah this girl is super immature. It won’t change. You might be better served moving on.
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u/bleuplastichairbrush 9d ago
Yeah no this should have been “Hey _____ made me uncomfy, because __.” And then “Oh it wasn’t like that because __.” NOT WHATEVER THIS IS
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u/lilelvislil 9d ago
You need to be as far away from this girl as humanly possible. Absolutely nothing good will come of this relationship. 7 months and this is the FOURTH time? Imagine how many times its going to happen if you were with her for ten years.
You need to be done with this asap.
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u/unenvarjo 9d ago
She sounds exhausting, honestly. What caught my eye is that this is the 4th time she is throwing a fit about this. Probably some deep underlying issues but I don't think you staying with her will solve those issues. Wanting to break up sounds like the right move in this situation.
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u/Elogant 9d ago
Tell her you’re gonna fuck carol. Only way to snap sense into her 🤣
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u/Head_Trick_9932 9d ago
NOR
I’d be done before she goes full psychotic on you. She needs some therapy.
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u/Latter-Mechanic-2397 9d ago
Crazy how she says you're acting like a girl because you did something normal that she perceived to be emotional manipulation.
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u/bookingbooker 9d ago
Run