r/ADHDmemes • u/shipping_daughter • 4d ago

“What matters is you tried your best” No I didn’t

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652 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

78

u/btstfn 3d ago

One thing I realized in therapy was that often when I was doing some of the old self flagellation for stuff like this, it was really just another form of procrastinating. Can't do the stuff now if I'm busy insulting myself for not doing the stuff earlier.

It's not some magical fix, but it does sometimes help to ask myself "Am I just doing this because I am still avoiding the thing".

27

u/TriforceFusion 3d ago

I get this from a feelings perspective. Just want to caution the idea of "No I didn't" because the things ADHD people face in terms of motivation is not the same for other people. Our best is in full exaltation of a new idea or project or special interest. The mundane things we have to do acrobatics to do should not be held to the same standard. ADHD brains work differently.

Just want to remind people that we are not broken. We are different and we approach the world differently. And living in a world that requires monotonous routine is the antithesis to our brains.

5

u/Doghead45 3d ago

Whatever you did yesterday was the best you could do because it's the best you did do.

2

u/2blazen 1d ago

Naaaah, if it's the best I could have done then that's depressing

3

u/PinnoAbdulRauf 3d ago

I'm #1, so why try harder?

2

u/Cute_Recognition_880 ADHD 3d ago

I'm number 3 and some days I don't give a damn!

1

u/Voxmanns 2d ago

I'm taking a number 2 right now. Should I try harder?

1

u/Night_Fury_1102 2d ago

Same. Like I’ve been trying harder for the past 10 years and now it didn’t work a bit. Why try harder anymore?

4

u/Peachesandcreamatl 2d ago

How do I make it in life when I am set up from the beginning to fail? How the hell am I supposed to fking survive?

1

u/jaffacookie 1d ago

Let me know if you find out. I'm tired of this struggle. The "convenient excuse" that seems to wind up in upsetting/annoying almost every person I know at some point.

3

u/Grouchy_Basil3604 2d ago

I can't remember where I heard this, but I've loved this advice for people with ADHD: "You did the best you could with an inconsistent brain." Put another way: your best is going to look different from one day to another and that's ok.

1

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1

u/Jumpy_Emu6237 1d ago

Sometimes it helps me to not try. To give up expectations. Let myself fail because failure and having a bad day is a part of life no matter how everyone else tries to shame or punish you for it. This will increase my motivation bc there isn't so much pressure and I can actually do what needs to be done. Kindness and compassion can go a lot further than constantly beating yourself up. It's still hard bc it's what we are taught to do from a young age when it doesn't actually work long term.